RusCan: Winter Nightmares
by HetaliaUSUKcp-MomoChan
Summary: Sequel to Snowy Relationships. After time together, Russia found himself to find all interest in Canada and care for him, Matthew the same way. But, that was when their nightmares were gone. When Winter returns, they find themselves being haunted and slowly tortured by General Winter. Their relationship is threatened, along with their sanity and even their lives, can they last?
1. Chapter 1: It's only a Dream

_Winter Nightmares _

_Chapter 1: It's only a dream… _

_Russia slowly leaned back against the wall, dropping his blood-stained pipe to the floor. He didn't move from there, his eyes stared off to the bloodied wall across from him. He was blank, no expression, no thoughts, not after what he had just done. He slowly turned his eyes down to see what he had done. He was still blank, slowly snapping back to reality. When he did, his eyes widened at the horror he had done. "M-…Mat-Matthew?…." He chocked. _

_The floor was covered in blood, splattered everywhere, pools of it under the monster's newest victim. He laid on his front, his head titled to the side, his violet eyes still open, but now dull and blank. He was covered in blood from the cuts, bruised, his cheeks still wet from his last fearful tears, he was pale; he was gone. Russia slowly came down to his knees and looked over the boy's lifeless body. "M-Matthew…" He chocked out again. He slowly put his hand to the side of the boy's face, feeling how ice cold he was. Russia's blank expression slowly turned to horror and sorrow with the realization that this was real to him. "M-Matthew…" He slowly put his hands up and grabbed onto his head. "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…It's my fault…" He pulled his knees to his chest and put his head there, covering himself with his arms. "This can't be happening… No… No…No…" He whispered, he reaped it over and over, this can't be happening, he slowly looked up again, seeing the blood made him feel sick. _

"_It's all your fault Russia," _

OO

Russia jumped awake.

He laid there silently, a bit shaken up still. _It was only a dream… Only a damn nightmare… _He thought to himself as he closed his eyes once more. Just to stay sure, he opened his eyes again and looked over for a familiar face. Canada still slept there, gently breathing, holding onto Kumajirou, peacefully. Russia smiled a bit in relief and closed his eyes again, _it was just a nightmare… it wasn't real… _

_That won't happen…. _

Russia slowly fell back to sleep, only to wake up to the sun shining in. He didn't see Canada, so he knew the boy was already up and around, so he got out of bed and made his way downstairs. Ever since winter started, his nightmares were returning with a force, Winter never let him have peace; it seemed Canada couldn't get any peace either. He walked into the kitchen to find him on his cell phone again, talking to his boss, leaning over the counter top. Russia peeked in, Canada saw him and pointed to the breakfast he had already made for Russia; the Russian was used to the boy cooking for him, he liked it… he _really_ liked it. Russia gave a little smile to him and scooped up the plate to sit and eat, though he almost sat on Kumajirou, and quickly moved to an _open _seat.

He ate quietly, looking at the boy talk with his boss, clearly annoyed and angry with certain things. Russia figured it was best not to get involved and he continued eating. He peeked back at the boy every couple moments, only to look away when he was the boy was getting more annoyed and stressed by the minute. Finally, he hung up the phone and plopped it on the counter, not caring if it broke or not; he didn't want another phone call. He took a deep breath out and held his head in his hands. "So, what now?" Russia asked, he was getting used to the calls for the boy.

"Well, everything is messed up…" Canada said looking up a bit. "Let's just say I'm not gonna have a break anytime soon. The only bright news is I'm off for Christmas day, not Eve, but day… It kinda works…"

"Really? You're _that_ busy? What's going on with your country huh?"

"Stuff…Lots of stuff… I have to sign things, my boss needs me to do some things, I'll have to go do business work with England and his brothers a day after new years." Canada sighed. "Everything is such a pain lately…"

"Matvey, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it da?" Russia placed his plate in the dish washer and walked behind the boy.

"I guess so…" Canada said. Russia wrapped his arms around the boy's waist and kissed his cheek.

"I think someone needs to relax a bit da? You're so tense." Russia moved his hands up the boy's side. "I can fix that you know." He started moving his hand toward the boy's _"special"_ curl, until Canada stopped him.

"I'm sorry but I'm just not in the mood."

"You shot me down?…" Russia pouted a bit.

"Sorry Russia."

Russia sighed. "It's fine, I know you're just too stressed out right now. Try not to stress yourself out too much though da?"

"Yeah, got it." Canada kissed the Russian's cheek. "It'll be fine. I at least get Christmas day to rest up.. That's only a couple days away, so I'll just last out the next few days."

"Da. Positive attitude." Russia said, then paused. "Damn that reminds me, I have to go back home to do my own things too. I suppose I'll leave tomorrow or the next day then."

"I can drive you to the airport if you leave tomorrow, if not you'll have to get a taxi."

"I'll take up on your offer." Russia said. "I'll get a ticket later then."

"Okay," Canada gulped down the rest of his coffee and placed the cup in the sink. "I'm gonna go finish up some paper work."

"Da. Me too." Russia said as the boy scooped up Kumajirou and started toward the stairs. "Remember, don't get too stressed out."

"Yeah, I know."

OOO

_Don't believe it… It's only a dream… It's not real… _

The next morning Canada awoke to a cold and darkish room. He didn't want to get up, he slowly covered himself with the blanket more and tried snuggling back into it. He tried, until the alarm clock went off and he just had to get up now. He yawned, rubbed his eyes, then put his glasses on. He quickly put on a sweatshirt because of how cold it was. He picked up Kumajirou off the bed and started heading down stairs. He looked out the front door to see something he wished wasn't there; snow, and a lot of it. It covered the ground, maybe up to a foot of snow, it covered everything though. Canada sighed, he liked snow but not now, not today; he had to be driving through that, and now it would only make his day and the next few days harder.

He walked into the kitchen and plopped Kumajirou down on the seat. He gave the bear a small plate of fish and went toward the coffee machine, something warm like coffee would be nice right now. "Good morning." He heard Russia say. Canada turned a bit and saw the Russian standing there dressed in his regular clothing and scarf.

"Morning." Canada said and went back to making his coffee. "Want some?"

"Da." Canada grabbed another mug out for the Russian and made his coffee first. He slid it across the counter a bit for Russia to grab it while he worked on his own next. Russia took a few sips and watched the boy make his own, pouring a bottle of maple syrup in it like always. "You look tired."

Canada paused. "I-I didn't sleep well." He took a sip of his sweeten coffee. "Hey, is it cold to you? I'm freezing."

"Da, it's cold." Russia said. "Your heater break?"

"Probably…" Canada sighed. "I'll check it later, what time does your flight leave?"

"Noon."

"Oh we got time then."

"Matvey, it's ten o'clock."

"W-What? No way, my alarm is set for seven."

"Well I guess you set it wrong, because it's ten o'clock."

"No way…" Canada scratched the side of his head. "I know I set it for seven…"

"Maybe you slept through it and hit snooze?"

"I'm one of the unlucky people who doesn't have a snooze button…"

"Well I don't know then."

"Neither do I." Canada sighed and drinked more of his coffee. "I'm losing it I guess."

"Da."

"Okay then you want me to drive you now?"

"Please." Russia said. Canada nodded and gulped the rest of his coffee. He quickly grabbed his keys then.

"Into the car." He yawned a bit. Russia watched the boy go out first then followed close behind.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "You look really out of it."

"Yeah I'm fine, just tired."

"You sure? If you want, I can get a taxi."

"I doubt it'll be able to get here before time you have to go with all the snow on the ground, the streets are barely plowed." Canada said. "I don't mind really."

"Alright… If you say so…" Russia watched the boy put his heavy snow jacket on and flop up his hood to face the cold outside. He then put his heavy boots on and headed out the door, stepping into the deep snow. Russia closed the door behind and followed, the snow went up to the Russian's knees; it was high, but at least the roads were clear. Canada started up the car to warm it up and placed Kumajirou in it. He then grabbed the shovels in the back and gave one to Russia, the snow plows had plowed him in. They went to the back and started scooping, moving the snow out of the way, just enough to clear the way to get out; Canada would just have to add digging out the rest onto his already busy list later. They finished digging out and threw the shovels in the back again. Canada got himself into the drivers seat as he put Kumajirou on the floor of the car, Russia got into the passenger's seat.

The boy took a moment to sit there and just relax for a minute, he still felt a little tired. He rubbed his hands together to warm them up and then placed his hands on the wheel and started to drive out. Russia watched a bit in worry as the boy tried to focus on driving. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked. Canada glanced over at him a bit and nodded. Russia looked away from him, he was worried now, it has only been a week since the boy started recovering from his short sickness, and all the stress was hitting him hard; he wasn't sleeping…

They pulled up to the drop off area of the airport and Russia grabbed his bag from the back. Canada watched as Russia looked through to make sure he had everything, his passport and such, then he looked over at the boy. "I'll try to come back before New Years." He said. He leaned over and kissed the boy on his forehead. "Try not to stress yourself out too much da?"

Canada sighed a bit. "I'll try." Russia gave him another kiss on his head before opened the door and getting out. "Be safe please." Russia looked back at the boy and save a little smile, _same to you_.

Canada sat there for a moment and watched Russia go into the building. He then took a deep breath out as Kumajirou climbed onto the side seat. Canada sunk a bit in his seat and looked over at Kumajirou, he smirked a bit and pet the bear's head, just a small moment of relaxation. "Back to work eh?" He said, the bear nodded. Canada sighed and frowned a bit. "Yeah… Back to work…" _I'm too tired… _

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thank you~

YAY! Start of new thing :D So I'm sorry I said it would be up on Friday, I got distracted by the Olympics and then I finished and the internet went down from the storms again DX so NOW it's up

So, I'm getting parts of this story out right now. As of now, the first chapter, it's the calm before the storm. Winter's getting involved now, but their both ignoring it (but also neither of them know that winter is haunting each other, aka Russia doesn't know winter hurts Canada, like Canada doesn't know winter hurts Russia. It's like a secret). It's gonna be calm for now, then maybe between chapter 5 and 10 it will get worse for them da?


	2. Chapter 2: Joyeux Noël

Chapter 2: Joyeux Noël

(Warning…You got some France stuff happening in here…Nothing bad… Just mentions)

_December 24__th_

"So you're baking?" Russia asked. He sat at a bench eating a small granola bear, at the airport gate of his flight. He listened to the Canadian on the other line of his phone, he could hear the pans banging together and him scolding Kumajirou for stealing part of what he was baking.

"Yeah~ I am~" He could hear the boy giggle. "I always spend Christmas eve like this."

"I'm sure whatever you're baking is delicious too." Russia smirked a bit. "I'm sad that I can't try some."

"I'll try to save you some~"

"Da. You do that, I don't want to miss out."

"Will do!~ I just hope I can save it til New Years when you come."

Russia smiled more, he felt a bit happy about his little surprise visit on the boy now. "Da. I think you can." He looked to see his plane had started to board. "Matvey, I need to go. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay~ Bye~" He liked hearing the boy's happy voice. "Love you~"

"I love you too." Russia said, he wasn't completely used to saying the little phrase, but he said it when he needed too. He hung up and started for the plane.

OOO

The ride was long, but he made it just fine; though he was stopped at security like always. He quickly got his bags and got to a taxi, only a half hour away from the boy's house then. He gave the driver directions and checked his phone to see if anyone had contacted him, sadly there was no one, but he liked it like that. He ended up calling Canada again though, he quickly answered with a preppy hello. "Still baking?" Russia asked.

"Yup~"

"Wow, you've been going for quite a while," Russia said. "Isn't it almost ten o'clock? It's late Matvey, you should be sleeping."

"Yeah well isn't it like six in the morning in Moscow?" Canada came back. "You should be sleeping too."

"I got up early to talk to you." Russia lied a bit. "I expected to have you be sleeping though. I sure hope you're not stressing yourself out."

"I'm not, I'm not." Canada sighed.

"Better not be, I'll know if you are." Russia noticed they were pulling up by the boy's house. He smiled a bit and quickly paid the driver, then grabbed his bags and got out; he kept up his little game with the Canadian though. "You're not lying are you?"

"Nope~"

Russia walked up to the door and got ready to knock. "I sure hope not," He knocked on the door. "Cause if you are-"

"Russia, hold on, I gotta answer the door." He heard the Canadian quickly going for the door as Russia put his phone into his pocket and waited for him to open the door. Once he did, Canada was surprised.

"Here I am, yay." Russia smiled a bit. Canada, in a cute little apron with Santa clauses on it, still had the phone to his ear.

"I have to call you back, Russia's at my-" He shook his head and hung up the phone, he forgot he was talking to Russia on the phone. "Russia! W-What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you." Russia said. "Merry Christmas."

"Y-Yeah, merry Christmas to you to-wait you don't even celebrate the same Christmas as me…"

"Da, I don't. But you do." Russia said. "So I'm here to spend it with you, maybe you can tell me a bit about it da? I already saw your city is decorated."

"Y-Yeah." Canada was still surprised.

"So, I hope you saved some of your cooking for me," Russia smiled a bit. "What were you making?" Canada smiled.

"Well now, a couple things." Canada said. "You can come in you now." He moved out of the way more and Russia quickly came in. He put his bags down by the door and took off his gloves. "It's cold out eh?"

"Da, very." Russia could smell food cooking, he quickly started heading toward the kitchen, Canada quickly followed. "Oh wow…." Russia blinked once he saw everything the boy had cooked up. There were tins of mashed potatoes, ham, he assumed another was pancakes, chicken, cooked mixed vegetables, and bread rolls. "Don't tell me this is all for you?"

Canada chuckled a bit. "No, I bring food to shelters on Christmas." Russia looked at him.

"Really? Why?"

"C-Cause their my people," Canada said. "It's the least I can do, epically on Christmas. I do it every year." Russia kissed the boy's cheek.

"You're very kind aren't you?" Russia said. "I don't get it."

"Yeah I know you don't." Canada chuckled. "But, I do make things for myself, I've been baking some cookies~" Russia got a smirk.

"Can I have some?"

"You really like my cooking don't you?" Canada giggled a bit.

"Da I do. I really do Matvey." Russia looked around the kitchen a bit to find any plates of cookies he wanted to try. "So, where are they?"

"Their still in the oven Russia," Canada giggled more and grabbed oven mitts. "I'll get them out now."

"Well hurry it up."

"I'm going, I'm going." Canada opened the oven up and reached in to grab the sheet of cookies, lightly brown and fresh, then placed them onto the oven. He reached in again and takes out more, he had a few sheets in the oven. Russia quickly came over and peeked at them. "Don't touch them, their still hot." Canada looked up as he put the sheet on the oven, only to find Russia already munching on a sweat sugar cookie.

"It's really good."

"Doesn't that burn your tongue or something?"

"Not really." He ate the rest. "Can I have another?"

"Y-yeah… Just don't burn yourself…" Canada said a bit confused. Russia scooped up a chocolate chip cookie this time and quickly started eating it. "You like it?"

"Da. Very good." Russia finished eating the rest. "Home made right?"

Canada smiled. "Yup~" He tried to pick one up himself but it burned his fingers and he dropped it back into the sheet, he made it look like nothing happened though. "So, um, you wanna put your stuff up stairs?"

"Da." Russia took another cookie to go and went for his things. Canada continued to bake more, scooping them off the sheet and onto a plate, as Russia made his way upstairs to the guest room. He turned the light on, only to find Kumajirou laying on the bed already. He gave the bear a glare, which made Kumajirou growl a bit and jump off the bed, then walked away to go find some other place to rest. Russia plopped his bags down on the bed and started taking his coat off, his regular dress clothes would be good enough. As he finished up getting changed, he noticed lights outside, like a car was pulling up. Russia took a peek outside to see a car really was pulling up, and two people were getting out. He tried making out who it was, but the windows were too ice-covered. He started going out of his room and toward the stairs to find out, he paused when he heard the door open and that loud obnoxious voice go off.

"Mattie! We're here! We kinda left France at the airport though…" _America was here? _Of course, his family, of course they would be here for Christmas! Russia stood at the top of the stairs, behind the wall so no one could see him, listening to what was happening down there.

"You left France at the airport! ?" Canada squealed.

"Well," England started, "We had good reason to."

"Oh yeah?" Canada glared. "And what was that?"

"He was being annoying."

"That _and_ he couldn't find his bags." America said. "So he told us to go on without him all dramatically,"

"So we left him." England said. "And then he cried."

"You two are horrible to him…"

"He deserves it!"

"Britain! He does not!"

"I agree with England!" America yelled. Russia peeked out behind the wall a bit. "So like, we sleeping in our regular room bro?"

"Y-yeah, you and England I guess can stay there." Canada said. "I suppose France will have to sleep either there or the couch."

"Whao! Whao! One! France is not staying in the same room as us!" America said. "Two! What's wrong with the other guest room?" Russia's eyes widen a bit, _don't tell him, don't tell him…_

"R-Russia's here." _Damn he told him. _Russia sighed, now he would have to hear the America's ranting.

"Russia! ? Why Russia! ?" America yelled at Canada, he felt himself getting smaller compared to America. "He shouldn't be here!" Russia wanted to go down just to punch America in the face for making a issue out of it. "Stupid Commie!"

"I am not communist anymore!" Russia yelled, then covered his mouth with the realization of his mistake. The three nations at the bottom of the stairs definitely heard that though, and they all looked up toward Russia hiding. Russia sighed a bit and started coming down.

"Once a Commie, always a commie." America glared, Russia shot a look at the American. Canada felt the tense atmosphere now and tried changing the conversation.

"S-So how was your flight? Al? Britain?" Canada said. The three other nations looked toward him.

"I-It was okay…" America said a bit nervously, England glared at him, meaning he did something.

"W-What did you do?" Canada asked.

"N-Nothing!"

"He thought there was a bomb on the plane and he started flipping out." England said. "We're just lucky they didn't arrest him!"

"Oh come on! They wouldn't of arrested us!" America tried to laugh a bit but England glared, "B-But if they did, Mattie would be able to bail us out! Right Mattie?" Canada didn't answer and turned his attention to Russia.

"So Russia,"

"You wouldn't bail us out! ?" America pouted.

"W-Well, I mean, they could think of you as a threat and it would take a while for me to deal with that…"

"….But you would try right?"

"….Sure… So anyway!" Canada scratched the side of his head. "H-How about you two go put your stuff upstairs and then we can eat dinner huh?"

"Oh good! I'm starving!" America smiled and grabbed England's wrist and his own bags. "BRB!" He quickly pulled the Brit up with their things, against poor England's will. Russia and Canada had a small moment of silence, Russia immediately turned his head towards the Canadian; Canada jumped a bit.

"H-Hey, just remember, you were the one who came here." Canada said.

"I forgot about them…" Russia admitted.

"It'll be fine, their good around this time of year."

"Well I hope so…"

"I-I'm gonna go get dinner, you can go in the living room or something if you want."

"Are there Christmas shows on?"

"Yeah probably, I'm surprised you're so interested in it."

"I'm not that interested, but I want to see some things." Russia smiled a bit and went for the living room as Canada went for the kitchen, Kumajirou must of heard "dinner" and came into the picture, he quickly followed the Canadian.

Within the next half hour, as Russia tried watching some TV as America and England changed into their Pjs, then America decided to pester Canada about food as England awkwardly sat with Russia in the living room. France finally came, he simply walked in, plopped his stuff down, and laid down on the couch with the other two Nations. The two stared at France now, knowing it was so out of his character; his character popped back up and he quickly ran into the kitchen to sexually harass poor Canada, until Russia came in that is. With all the chaos, Canada accidentally burned his finger and yelled for everyone to get out, which they did with their heads down.

Finally, after bandaging his finger, Canada finally got everything done. He walked in the living room with his arms crossed as the other nations watched TV, America sitting right in front of the screen. "Ahem." Canada said, they all looked toward him. "Dinner is ready. If you want it, calmly-" America and France both ran into the kitchen past the Canadian, England following, and Russia following slowly. He patted the boy's shoulder, _you know they won't listen, _Canada followed Russia in.

"How's your finger?" Russia looked at him.

"It hurts, but it's fine." Canada said. They walked in to find the other nations sitting at the table already, America leaning over the hot food, clearly ready to dig in, but England pulled him back until Canada and Russia sat down. Canada looked over at America. "Go ahead." America jumped for it and started digging in at the food like a child, England glared at the American but the rest of them dug in too, including England.

"I just realized," France said in the middle of the meal and looked toward Russia. "Russia's here."

"Really now?" Russia spoke sarcastically and glared at France.

"Oui! When did you get here! ?"

"France, he's been here for a while…" Canada said. "Before any of you even got here."

"You're so stupid France." England said.

"Shut up Black sheep!"

"I said don't call me that!"

"Not today you two!" Canada yelled a bit at the two and they were quiet.

"Oui Matthieu," France said and munched on bread. Dinner was a bit quiet, a few conversations coming up here and there, but it was still quieter than Russia thought it would be. He looked over at Canada a few times, noticing each time Canada wasn't really eating; he had stopped after a few minutes, now he only played with his food.

Russia left upstairs to call Ukraine, just to tell her he made it there just fine and calm her worries like he usually would, or at least recently would. France snuck himself into Canada's liquor cabinet and searched around while England was pushed out of the kitchen by America to go get his Pjs on and do something else other then help clean up. Canada now cleaned with the help of America, which he was surprised about. "So Mattie," America plopped the dishes in the sink. "I got you a present~" Canada smiled a bit at him.

"I got you one too."

"What is it?" America grabbed onto his arm. "Come on~ Tell me~"

"You'll see it tomorrow Al."

"Oh come on~ Just tell your big bro~"

"Nope." Canada looked toward him as he cleaned the dishes. "Big bro is gonna have to wait."

"Rawr," America pouted. "Fine. Whatever. You get your present last now."

"Fine by me."

"Food!" Kumajirou clawed a bit at Canada's leg. "Good, give me food, I want food." Canada picked up Kumajirou and made his way over to the fridge, then grabbed out the packet of seal rolls he had and started picking out some for the bear as he trying going for them right out of the package. Canada put him down and fed him a few rolls as America moved dishes into the dish washer.

"So Mattie," America got a sneaky glad look on his face. "Wanna hear my idea for tomorrow night?" Canada looked toward him.

"Does it involve someone getting hurt?"

"Nope~"

"Then sure." Canada said as Kumajirou jumped forward at the boy to get another seal roll, this time biting the boy's fingers a bit, but not that hard so he got over it.

"I'm gonna get England to kiss me~" America smirked, Canada looked back over to him.

"Haven't you two been going out for a while?…"

"Yeah."

"And you haven't kissed?…"

"Well we do, but he never kisses me first." America pouted but then smiled. "But I'll get him to kiss me under the mistletoe! Genius plan right?"

"S-Sure?"

"Come on~ You know it's a good plan~"

"Fine, sure, it is." Canada gave in. "But where are you gonna get mistletoe?"

"Ha! I ain't that stupid! I brought it with me~" America laughed a bit as Canada sighed and put the bear's food back into the fridge. America finished up with the dishes and moved over to the plates of cookies. "Can I have one?" Canada nodded and America stuffed a few, meaning fifteen, in his mouth.

"I'm gonna start heading to bed, I gotta get up early and bring the food to the shelters tomorrow. You guys behave yourselves."

"No promises but we'll try~" America had gulped down the cookies. Canada rolled his eyes a bit, he would regret it in the morning, and headed up for bed until he saw Russia at the top of the stairs.

"Privet." Russia said.

"Hey," Canada gave him a little smile. "I'm heading to bed, I'll see you in the morning."

"I was going down to see you…I suppose I'll go to bed too…"

"O-oh, well, England and the others are down there."

"I hate them."

"U-Um…right…" Canada scratched his head a bit. "O-Okay well then I'll just see you in the morning."

"Da," Russia kissed the boy's forehead. "Good night Matvey."

"Night~"

OOO

Canada got himself up early, showering early, getting some coffee, getting Kumajirou, and driving to the shelters, he could only go locally, but it seemed to be enough; it ended up taking three hours until he was finally able to go home. It was barely nine-thirty when he got home, he figured everyone would still be sleeping, except maybe England because he liked getting up early for morning tea. Canada figured he could just walk in and take a little nap before Christmas chaos happened; he was wrong.

America, who he didn't expect to be awake yet, jumped for the Canadian the moment he walked through the door. "Mattie! You're home~!" America jumped up and down like a child. "Can we open stuff now! ?"

"Y-Yeah Al," Canada sighed, "When everyone gets up."

"Everyone is up already!" America smirked. Canda came in a little more and started taking his boots off.

"O-oh? D-did you wake them up, Al?" Canada looked up at the now silent American. "Al!"

"Hey! It's not my fault they wouldn't get up the _first_ time I told them!"

"Oh god."

"And France scarred me for life, he sleeps naked."

"Ew Al! I didn't need to know that!"

"And Russia almost killed me."

"I kinda figured that…" Canada sighed.

"I would of killed him but then your guest room would have been quite dirty." Russia said coming in a bit. "Oh and France made breakfast."

"As long as Britain didn't cook it, I'm fine with that." Canada smirked a bit.

"Na he didn't," America said. "We locked him in the closet so he couldn't."

"Al! Let Britain out of the closet!"

"Hon hon hon!" They could all hear France's laugh from the kitchen. Canada sighed and went to unlock the closet door and let poor Britain out. "Aw damn, you let him out?"

"Shut it France…" England glared.

"S-So anyway! Heh!" Canada nervously laughed to distract them. "H-How bout we have some breakfast and then go to open gifts eh?"

"Fine by me, I'm starving~" America said. They all went for the kitchen to see France's nicely made breakfast. Of course, he had to add something French, some of the breakfast muffins Canada loved, but the meal was really a basic cooked breakfast; pancakes, sausages, some Canadian bacon, which America mocked to be just ham, and some scrambled eggs, very enjoyable. England didn't even care if France made it, he would eat it just like the others. Unlike dinner, breakfast was loud with morning conversations and Christmas music playing from the radio Canada had in the kitchen, somewhere in some corner. Russia, just a little, liked sitting with them, even if they were the people who annoyed them. They were more of a calm group, just excited and happy, he enjoyed the conversations, they never left Russia out of them, and they never left Canada out as well. It felt… kinda nice.

"Presents!" America jumped in his seat as the others finished eating. "Come on! Presents! Presents!"

"You're such a child." England sighed.

"Can we go open stuff! ? Come onnn~"

"Okay okay Al," Canada giggled a bit. "Just let me clean up a bit."

"Just plop the shiz in the sink and let's go!" America was so eager, he started pulling the Canadian's arm to come.

"Okay Al," Canada gave in and quickly put his plate in the sink. "Guys, dishes in the sink."

"Yay!" America cheered. He pulled the Canadian's arm and started going for the living room. England quickly put his dish away and followed to calm the American down a bit, just a try anyway. Canada followed in with France and Russia a few moments later. Russia saw America practically dive for the gifts under the boy's Christmas tree, brightly decorated and lit. Russia had placed his gift for Canada under the tree after the boy left, though he wasn't sure what to do about the other three nations. France and England both grabbed a seat on the couch as Russia stood a bit on the side, waiting to see them open their presents up. "You think Finland dropped by?

"Looking at the gifts, I believe so, cause I didn't have half this stuff last night." Canada said and quickly passed his gift to America before the American went crazy about it. America shook the small box a bit, clearly not happy about the size of it. "Hey, don't judge it til you open it." Canada then threw a gift to France and gently handed one to England as America ripped the paper open.

"Bro…No…Fricken…way…" America stared at the inside of the box.

"What is it?" England asked as he slowly took of the paper, unlike the French man ripping the paper off next to him.

"Mattie got me all eight games of the 'Final Death Experience' series Japan came out with! Oh my god! EPIC!" America laughed and looked through the cases of the games.

"Aw~ it's cute~" France picked up a poofy and colorful jacket, all purple and red like France likes. It had the French flag on the back, with the words of "greatest dad" in French with it. "Aw~ So cute~" He put it on. "Matthieu, I love it~" It seemed to even sparkle a bit when France wore it.

Canada smiled. "I'm glad you like it~" France pulled the boy down and gave a little kiss on his forehead, like he would do when Canada was a child.

"Oh," England looked at his own gift.

"You like them?" Canada looked over.

"Yes, their cute looking."

"What is it! ?" America ran over to look.

"Tea cups," England said and lifted one for him to see. It was small, just right for England, clean and neatly decorated with little blue roses, the others with different colored roses.

"Haha. You just got cups." America pointed and laughed a bit.

"Shut up, I like them," England said. "Thank you Matthew."

"No problem~"

"Bro!" America pointed toward the tree. "Your gift is the big one in the back."

"Oh good lord I don't want to know." England sighed. Canada rushed a bit over to the tree and looked through for the big one from America. While he did that, America gave England his gift. Canda started opening the huge box once he found it, he wondered if America got help from Finland to help with this thing, once he finally got the thing open, he was happy.

"Oh bro!" Canada smiled, Russia looked over to see what it was. Canada came back out from behind the tree with a silver-red hockey stick with the boy's name on it. "Coolo!"

"See~ I knew you would like it~ haha~" America laughed. "I got you another one too, should be with that box." Canada didn't let go of the hockey stick and went back in to find the other gift, Russia smirked a bit at his excitement.

"A-America?" England looked at the gift.

"Do you like it?" America pouted a bit. "I see you drawing that little thing on your notebooks all the time."

"What is it?" France tried looking over. America dug into the little box and took a light green hat out, then fit it onto the Brit's head. It was fluffy and cute, little ears sticking up, wings in the back, cute little button eyes.

"It's flying mint bunny." England smirked a bit as he looked up at the hat.

"Oh god, that thing?" France sighed. "You're crazy."

"Shut your face France."

"Al I love you." Canada's words blocked out the other twos. America looked over and smiled as Canada's bright smile grew as he opened up the paper covering his brand new ice skates, only meant for hockey. "The inside is soft too!"

"Yeah, I knew you would like them! Your old skates are so used over and stuff, I figured you would like them."

"Bro I love them!" Canada jumped up and hugged onto the American. The next half hour went on as they passed gifts around and opened them. England's gifts for the three were simple, a stitched maple leaf covered pillow and maple candies for Canada, some horror movies and a _secret gift _for America, and he gave France a t-shirt saying "I'm a pervert, beware" with a arrow pointing up; France glared as England laughed. America's gift for France was nothing but some wine that Italy had gave him, at least it was some good wine and not crap. France's gifts were as you could expect, perverted, except one real one for Canada. He gave the boy a box to open as he gave England a paper card and America a bag.

Russia looked at England's expression turned to both horror and anger. "France! ! ! ! What the hell is this! ?" He yelled.

"It's a 'have s**x with France free' card~" France laughed creepily a bit. "Anytime~ Anywhere~" England threw the card at the French man as America glared at France.

"Hey. He mine. And I ain't sharing." America glared.

"America. What did he give you?" Russia asked. America looked over at the lonely Russia and back toward his bag, he started going through it again.

"Hold on, I'm gonna che-" America froze. "…Super hero condoms?"

"Nice huh~" France laughed more as the two nations smacked him with pillows and Russia sighed. Canada's gift wasn't so bad, France decided to be kind toward him. Russia looked over as Canada pulled out a old looking blanket, it was white with lightly colored red maple leafs designed on them; it was clearly handmade.

"Père, you stitched it up?" Canada looked up.

"Oui~ I know how much you like it, so I took the time to fix it up~" France smiled. "It should be good for now." Canada smiled.

"Oh! Let's not forget Russia here!" America jumped up and went for a box as Russia confusedly watched him. "I went out this morning and got it for you, it's from me, England, and France." He handed the thin box to the Russian.

"T-Thank you." Russia said, Canada smiled at him a bit. Russia took the little bow off and then gently took off the wrapping paper, then took the real gift out of the box; it was a bottle. "….Fuck you America."

"E-Eh! ?" Canada tried looking over. "W-What is it?" America laughed a bit as Russia held up the bottle; Vodka. Only one problem, it was non-alcoholic.

"It's great huh? Now it really is just Russian water!" America laughed.

"Shut up." Russia said looking at the bottle. "You are a pathetic excuse for Vodka."

"Are you speaking to the bottle?" England asked.

"Da! Because it doesn't deserve to be called Vodka!" Russia said. "It's horrible!"

"On the bright side, while we drink real alcohol, Britain and Matthieu can drink that~" France said.

"Oh shut it!" England glared.

OOO

The rest of the day was calm, Russia enjoyed it. It was the only time England and France really didn't fight, America wasn't as so annoying, Canada smiled often, he loved to see that bright happy smile. They watched some TV, played a few games, that Russia was not so happy about, the few of them then had most of the cookies Canada had baked, mostly with Russia and America eating the most; hey the Russian enjoyed his cooking, can't blame him. They finally looked through the stockings hung on the fireplace and looked through all the goodies Finland had left them, mostly candy and some small candies, there were even stuff for Russia there. They went outside and played in the snow a bit, though Russia noticed Canada wasn't so excited about it as he used to be, even during the snowball fight between him and his brother. After time in the snow, Canada whipped up some hot chocolate for the nations and they sat around the fire, Kumajirou sitting on the boy's lap like a good pet; he was full after breakfast. Russia really did enjoy it, _peaceful, warm, friendly_, Canada could have a loving family calmed during holidays; _enjoyable_.

Canada pulled Russia over a bit ass the others started setting up for dinner. "You need your present." Canada smiled, so did Russia.

"Da. You too." He said. Canada pulled Russia into the living room to the one remaining gift, special for Russia. Russia went behind the tree to get the boy's gift, hoping it would be enough. They both passed each others gifts to each other and looked at them. Russia gave something gently rapped, something soft as Canada gave a medium size box. "One, two, three," Russia said. Canada smirked and began opening it as Russia opened his. Russia stopped for a moment just to see the boy's reaction, he looked like he was amused. Canada lifted the light gift out of the papers, a scarf, a handmade scarf. Russia had made it special, red lines down the sides of it with red maple leafs down the center, all perfectly made; he made sure it was perfect, it took several times. Canada smiled at it. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I love it," Canada rubbed it against his cheeks. "It's so soft! Did you make this?"

"D-Da. I know, it's a little…weird for something like me." Russia said.

"I didn't know you sewed or knitted." Canada giggled. "It's beautiful."

"Good." Russia smiled.

"Open yours!"

"D-Da." Russia continued opening to find a picture, a large framed picture of the sunflower field; he smiled a bit and took the picture out. "This should lighten up my house da?" Canada smiled. He looked in more to find a long light brown coat and lightly colored scarf inside. He picked the scarf out and held onto it as he lifted the coat out. "What's this?"

"W-Well, I mean, you only wear one coat all the time." Canada stuttered, he was nervous about Russia's thoughts of it. "I-I thought you could have another one." Russia wasn't so open to other clothes, but he liked the coat. It was like his own, the way it opened, it was roomy, it felt soft as he put it on; he liked it and smiled at the boy.

"I like it Matvey." Russia smiled and Canada snapped back to a smiling happy child.

"There's more, but it's in my room, so come on." He grabbed onto Russia's hand and pulled him as Russia placed the box of his gifts on the couch and followed. He pulled Russia up to his room and had Russia cover his eyes.

"Is this way you wouldn't let me in your room?" Russia asked.

"Yup," He pulled Russia into his room and let his hand go, then quickly went over to grab his gift. He moved Russia's hands onto the gift, he could feel the smooth glass like object, he could tell it was long as well. "Okay, look." Russia opened his eyes to find a light colored vase in his hands, filled with bright Sunflowers; he smiled.

"Sunflowers," He sniffed them a bit. "But I already have you as my little sunflower." Canada blushed a bit and grinned, Russia kissed his cheek. "Thank you Matvey."

OOO

After dinner, they would start drinking, but America had something else planned. He searched through his bags looking for a certain something as the others started opening up the beer, wine, and vodka Canada has in his cellar. "Shit! It's not here!" America gashed.

"W-What?" Canada asked as Russia took care of the drinks. America pulled Canada down a bit.

"The mistletoe isn't here!" America whispered.

"I-I'm sure its there Al." Canada took a drink and sat onto the couch with Russia.

"What's wrong with your brother now?" Russia asked.

"He's being weird, like always." Canada took a little drink and made a sour face, he still wasn't so used to drinking Vodka, he was getting a little mad that France had taken his good wine now. Russia took a drink of his bottle, yes he was drinking an entire bottle, while Canada could only drink a little cup. England sat on the other couch, only drinking tea cause they banned him from drinking. France however, was no where to be seen.

"Le boo!" France popped up behind Russia and Canada, the two turned their heads to look at him. "Oh my~ You two~ Hon hon~" France held the mistletoe above their heads. "You know the rules~"

"What rules?" Russia asked. America popped his head up from searching, _that damn French man! _

"I-it's a mistletoe, whoever is under it has to kiss." Canada blushed.

"Romantically too~" France laughed a bit. "So kiss~" America glared toward them. Russia shrugged it a bit and grabbed onto Canada, he didn't mind kissing the boy, though in front of his family was a bit embarrassing. He pulled Canada in and kissed the boy's lips, knowing Canada was kissing back. He pulled away after, seeing Canada blushing and smiling, he smiled a bit too.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thank you~

*le fall over* OKAY longest…chapter… EVER… *le cheer*~! But anyway, I sorry for taking so long to update Q.Q I've been busy trying to get together this "Hetalia Olympics" event thingy and I'm the England cosplayer in it, so aka, I have to do all the work -.-' with help from our China cosplayer though~ :D So I've been kinda slow with all my thingies lately. Plus, I might be getting a job soon so updating right now is kinda hard :/ stupid school coming back and everything too :/ mehhhh

*sigh* anyway…. I made a fluffy :3 I like fluffies~ their cute~ XDD All Christmas timey~ :3 cause I was in the mood~

Still_, eye before the storm_. This winter won't be too bad, but there's gonna be a time skip where it gets worse so don't yell at me or anything, Winter will become a major part soon :3

…. I dunno what else to say… PASTA! XD _(Also if anyone wants to help me out with what happens during a Russian Christmas, please help me out -.-' cause I'm a special cookie and I don't know much about Russia) _


	3. Chapter 3: Father Frost

Chapter 3: Father Frost

_Nothing will happen, it's only a dream, I can control myself… Right?…_

_OOO_

"W-Whatda mean it's gonna start moving?" Canada questioned as he held the little Father Frost doll in his hand; Russia smiled.

"Exactly that." He said. "It will start moving in a few days due to witchcraft."

"What! ?" Canada panicked a bit as Russia smiled, turned, and walked away from the boy. Canada stood there staring at the doll, then quickly put it on a table and followed the Russian. "S-So when is Ukraine coming?"

"Soon." Russia looked over at him. "I think Belarus might be coming too." The name sent a shiver down Canada's spine. "Don't worry. We've worked things out, she won't threaten you anymore."

"I-I hope not…"

"She won't. Don't worry." Russia kissed the boy's forehead. "I'll make sure she won't." Canada smiled a bit. "I have to go check on dinner." Russia left for the kitchen. His house still freaked Canada out a bit, so he quickly followed instead of standing there in the hallway.

"Didn't Lithuania say he was gonna come?"

"Da. He was. But I believe he would rather spend it with Poland. And I do not want Poland in my house."

"Y-You really don't like Poland do you?"

"He's strange and annoying and I can't take him over anymore so there is no use in seeing his face."

"…Well that's rude." Canada glared a bit, Russia shrugged it off and looked toward him. "America told me you weren't going to come."

"Eh?"

"He said you were sick in bed."

"O-Oh," Canada sighed a bit. "Yeah I just got over a cold a few days ago."

"A _few_ days? Meaning one or two, da?"

"M-Maybe."

Russia looked at him, then sighed. "Matvey. I don't want you getting sick."

"I won't." Canada said with puppy eyes toward the Russian. "It hasn't come back in a while, so I should be fine."

Russia gave him a look and sighed again, "If you say so," the door bell ringed next and Russia quickly went to get it.

OOO

"Matvey? Are you awake?" Russia peeked in the boy's room early the next morning when he noticed the boy wasn't up yet, he saw the boy move under the blankets a bit. "You said you wanted to come with us to church again, da?" Canada didn't respond. Russia peeked in a little more as he could see Kumajirou's head sticking up in the buddle of sheets, the bear looked toward him. Russia came in more and went for the boy's bed, "Matvey?" He looked over to see Canada still sleeping, but panting and sweating; Russia frowned and put the back of his hand to the boy's forehead. Just as he thought, he has a fever.

OO

"You two just go without me, da?" Russia directed his two sisters, Ukraine automatically teared up.

"B-But, little brother, we always go together!" She cried as Belarus stayed still and silent.

"D-Da, I know, please don't cry." Russia tried to comfort her. "I don't want to leave Canada by himself when he's sick though, I don't know how bad it is." Ukraine sniffled and wiped her tears away. "And I did go with you two last night."

"You're suppose to go today too." Belarus said. Russia looked toward her.

"You know I'm not very religious." Russia said. "Just go without me, I'll see you when you get back." Belarus gave him a cold look and grabbed Ukraine's wrist, and pulled her toward the door. Ukraine gave him a little "good bye" and a small wave as Belarus quickly took her out the door. Russia put his hand up as a farewell, but Belarus slammed the door, so he flinched a bit and put it down; he sighed.

Russia carefully placed a wet towel on the sleeping Canadian's forehead, he twitched just a little bit but stayed asleep. Russia looked toward the unusually quiet Kumajirou and went to pick him up, the bear growled. "You want food, da?" Russia said, he didn't want to feed or treat the bear but he knew Canada would worry if his pet wasn't fed. The bear hesitated but let the Russian pick him up and carry him into the kitchen. Russia placed the bear on the floor and went into the fridge to grab some seal rolls Canada had brought with him. He simply dropped them down for the bear, Kumajirou catching each one in his mouth and eating it. Once the bear was finished, Russia went back up to check on the Canadian, Kumajirou followed behind.

He looked over the sleeping boy when he noticed the boy's eyes twitching a bit. Slowly, Canada woke up, not pleasantly though; rough coughing was the first thing that came up. Canada rolled around a bit, trying to fight off the cough, then relaxed for a moment when it stopped. The small towel fell off his forehead in all the fuss, which Russia grabbed away and checked his forehead, his fever was still high. "Matvey, you're sick." Russia said. Canada wasn't too happy, he was moody now; he wanted to say "no shit Sherlock" but his cough started up again. Russia grabbed the empty glass on the night stand and went into the bathroom to fill it with water. He came back quickly and gave the glass to the boy. Canada tried sitting up and grabbed the glass, then gulped it down quickly, it soothed his throat.

He sat back again and slid back under the blankets again, he may have a fever, but he was still cold as heck. He shivered a bit so Russia pulled the blankets onto him more. "I-I'm sorry." Canada chocked out, Russia looked over at him.

"It's fine Matvey." He gave the boy a small smile. "Just get better, da?"

"Y-Yeah."

"I can look to see if I have any cold medication?"

"N-Na it's fine." Canada gulped down a bit, his throat still hurt. "I'll just drink a lot of water and sleep it off."

"Are you sure?"

"Y-Yeah," Canada sunk down more into the blankets. "W-Weren't you suppose to go to church with your sisters? Isn't your Christmas all religious?"

"Well, um, Da. But, I usually only do it for them." Russia said. He looked away a bit and tugged at his scarf. "_I'm _not very religious though, not too many of us are I suppose. Maybe the big timers like England or Japan, but not me."

"O-Oh." Canada said.

"You?"

"Not so sure." Canada said with a low voice, then started coughing again. Russia bent over a bit and rubbed his back a bit. He relaxed his breathing again and looked at Russia with a small "thanks", Russia tried smirking a bit at him. "Why don't you just rest, da?" Russia stood up and put the blankets on him more. "If you need anything, just let me know." Canada nodded and rested his head on the pillow, holding in a slight cough.

"Russia, I'm sorry." Canada said with a crackle in his voice.

"I told you its fine. Just rest." Russia went for the door. "I'll come back in an hour to check on you. If you need anything," he looked toward the nightstand with the Canadian's cell phone on it, "Call me, da?"

"O-okay."

Russia checked every hour on the boy, each time he peeked in he saw the boy sleeping soundly with a few small coughs here and there. Eventually his sisters came home, Belarus clearly still mad about him not coming, but at least calm enough to stop slamming doors. "How was it?" He asked. Belarus gave a sharp glare and quickly ignored him, making her way up to her room with a fist. Ukraine frowned as she watched her leave but changed it to a smile towards Russia.

"Good. It was fine." She said.

"Was Belarus trouble?"

"No, not at all." she said, Russia raised an eyebrow, really? She wasn't? "How's Matthew feeling?"

Russia snapped out of his day dream of how Belarus behaved, "Oh, he's, um, he's fine. He had a high fever but it's down now, he's resting now."

"Oh good." She smiled a bit in relief. "I'm glad it's nothing serious."

"Da." Russia grabbed onto his scarf a bit. "Same." _He shouldn't of come in the first place…. _Russia sighed.

OOOOOO

I finished O_O mehhhh I know it's a crap chapter but I got an idea for the next one that I really couldn't fit into this one cause… it's just… different o.o (I'm sorry it's taking so long to update! I've been working on the days I usually write and then I was stuck half way though this so I just ended it O_O) I'm Sorryyyyy

Okay so Winter should be coming around the end of next chapter/chapter 5. Already, he's effecting Russia (with the nightmares) and Canada (with sickness) so I'm trying to slowly get him involved. Let's just say soon, unlike the first story, Canada's not gonna be the one with ALL the abuse *le hint*


	4. Chapter 4: Почему вы не поможете нам?

Chapter 4: Почему вы не поможете нам?

He hated being alone, he never liked it before and after the Union broke up, he hated it even more; especially in his big house. Everything echoed, a slight movement he would hear, the quiet sound he hated was there. He would rather be at a meeting, surrounded by the fights of England, France, or America. Even the fights between anyone he enjoyed, he liked hearing their voices, not just silence. If there was snow on the ground, he would even start to see and hear things that weren't there, it happened all the time. Winter played games with him, he twisted his mind, especially when he was alone, when he had time to think.

This time, he grabbed onto his mind, and wouldn't let go.

"_Г-н Иван пришел игры~__" A sweet little voice echoed though the hallways as he sat in his study looking over the new paperwork he had when the voice caught his ear, he quickly popped his head up and looked around, believing it was just too much work on his mind and it was playing tricks now. But the voice echoed again and he couldn't ignore it. He stood up and made his way to the hallways, peeking out and looking around. _

_Something the size of a small child ran through the hallway across from him, but quickly vanished behind the wall. He stood there for a minute but then followed down. "Who's there?" He asked. "__Кто там?__" He repeated in his own tounge. He looked over the corner to find a little girl, curly blonde hair but too dark to see in the shadows. Her back was turned to him as his eyes slowly widened at the sight of just who it was. _

"_Почему вы не помогают нам г-н Иван?__" She slowly turned around and came out of the shadows, blood dripped from her bloody head wound. "__Ты обещал нам поможет …__" Tears rolled down as the painful screaming of her mother echoed in the hallway, he himself screamed. _

He jumped and quickly sat up in his bed, panting in sweat and even shaking at the thoughts of his latest nightmares. He tried taking deep breaths and tried to calm down as he looked over to the sleeping Matthew next to him, he calmed down. Just having him there made him feel relaxed, even after the harsh nightmare. He put his hand gently onto the boy's head and brushed it through his soft hair, trying not to wake him up. Canada didn't move or make a sound but Russia smiled a bit and closed his eyes, something felt familiar, something was still here. He laid back down softly and kept his hand on the boy's head. He closed his eyes and moved his hand to the boy's shoulder, smiling still with the feel of the boy still there and he was finally able to sleep until morning.

"It's freezing." Canada shivered at the kitchen table, wrapped in his fluffiest and warmest blanket, as Russia placed down a plate of pancakes in front of him.

"Da. I know." Russia lifted his scarf a bit, even he felt cold. "Man up, da? You're suppose to be used to this kind of weather."

"I am." He blew hot hair into hands. "But I would rather not be shaking in my boots."

"Matvey. You have socks on, not boots."

"Ivan. It's an expression." He said with a bit of a look, then smiled at him to show it was just a joke. Russia smiled a bit and sat down across from him. "I know you like warm places, I like warmer places too."

"You seem more into snow though."

"I like it, like it's fun to play hockey and sled and stuff, but, I,-" Canada paused, he couldn't explain his feelings toward this explanation. "I get a lot of nightmares." Russia was sipping his coffee but paused a bit and looked at the boy when he said that.

"Do you now? Why?"

"I-I don't know," He lied. "I just do." He silently took a sip of his own coffee and began to dig into the pancakes. Russia looked curiously at him, but after a while of the boy just eating, he ate himself. They ate in silence for a few minutes, neither of them were too awake to really get into a conversation. It was natural in the morning, for the last few weeks since Canada got better. It wouldn't be long before he would have to go though, knowing the situations back at his home, and Russia's. Every time he looked back up at the boy, the thoughts of being alone scared him. He knew Canada tried his best at keeping them together, Russia tried all he could as well. All the nightmares, he could only get through them with the boy here, he couldn't even think about it without him. He frowned.

"When are you leaving?" Russia asked in the silence. Canada stopped and looked up at Russia with sorrow-filled eyes, Russia frowned more. "Soon I'm guessing?"

"I-I was gonna talk to you bout that later…" He sighed. "I gotta leave in the next three days." Russia frowned more. "I-I'm sorry. I'm gonna try to come back as soon as I can."

"Nyet. Don't. You do all the traveling, I'll visit you da?"

"I-if you can…" Canada frowned, Russia looked away a bit. "I know you can't get the time."

"And I know you're in a_… situation." _

"Y-yeah… I know…" His voice hinted onto his sorrow. "I-I'm sorry."

"It's fine. We can just get together when we have the time. We'll still see each other at the meetings and such, it will be fine." Russia tried to smile but Canada's emotion didn't faze. "I-it'll be fine." His emotion still didn't faze. _It'll be fine… Right… Matthew?… _

OOOO

Another hug, another kiss, another "I'll see you again soon", nothing could faze Canada's sad looks or thoughts as Russia tried to say good bye to him. He frowned at the boy's unusual sadness, it upset him to see how much Canada really missed him all the time. "Matvey. It'll be fine. Just call me when you get home, da?"

"It'll be three am here by the time I get home…"

"I don't care, just call me. I want to make sure you get home okay." Russia said, Canada smiled just a little bit and nodded. "Promise?"

"I promise."

"Good. Now you and your bear get on that plane," he pointed toward the plane's exit, "and go back home. Do your work, da?"

"R-Right." Canada nodded a bit and rested his chin on the bear's head that he was holding in his arms. "I-I love you."

"I love you too." Russia kissed the boy's forehead and smiled. "Go on. It's okay." Canada nodded and made sure his knapsack was on right on his back. He tried to give a smile to Russia before turning toward the exit. Half way through, he paused and looked back at Russia.

"I'm not gonna see you for a long time… am I?" He asked. Russia lost his smile and shook his head, Canada frowned. "C-Can you promise… me something?"

"Da, of course my little Sunflower." Russia said. Canada opened his mouth to speak but paused and restarted.

"C-Can-…. Russia… Please promise me…" He gulped a bit with the fearful thoughts running through his mind. "P-promise me you won't forget me… Please…" Russia's eyes widen a bit.

"I would never do that." He said. "Don't worry Canada, I couldn't even _try_ to forget _you_." He smiled softly at him. Canada's expression didn't change, he was dead serious, he simply nodded, turned away, and went for the plane. Russia's smile faded as Canada left onto the plane without turning back, he was probably too upset too. Russia stood there with his hands in his pockets and a fading smile, it was fake now, he couldn't even try to smile. He closed his eyes for a minute, then finally walked away, went back to his lonely home.

OOOO

_He sat in a small puddle of blood, laying his back against the wall, his hand laying in the blood. His wrists freshly cut from his own finger nails, as sharp as claws. Blood dripped down from his cheek into the puddle as tears dripped with them. His violet eyes were dull, blank, as his vision was hazy, as well as his vision. The pain in his chest only became worse with every beat of his heart, he wasn't even sure if he was even breathing anymore. It was dark, he felt cold, numb, empty, surrounded by nothing but the voices that haunted him and the bloody memories in his head. "I-Ivan…" He looked up to find someone to help, someone who could save him. It was all a blur as he looked toward the two-toned boy, his violet eyes being the only thing he could really see, his deeply worried eyes. _

"_H-__Помоги…..мне…..__"_

_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_

((To be continued))

The ending is just a lil preview of whats gonna come later on in the next chapter, NOW Winter is coming in (like I said, the 5th chapter~) But I'll explain what leads up to this in the next chapter. I've decided I'm gonna update every Friday/Saturday! :D I might update even before then, depending how much time I have~

So… da…. I don't own those characters up in here XD

Translations:

Russian:

Почему вы не поможете нам?: Why didn't you help us?

Г-н Иван пришел игры: Mr. Ivan come play

_Кто там: __Who's there?_

_Почему вы не помогают нам г-н Иван: __Why didn't you help us Mr. Ivan? _

_Ты обещал нам поможет : __You promised you would help us_

_H-__Помоги…..мне:_ H-Help… Me…


	5. Chapter 5: Все ваши вина

Chapter Five: Все ваши вина

One year later….

Russia looked across the table toward the young nation slowly coming in and out of consciousness, he frowned as America tried to snap Canada out of his haze and back into the meeting, but it seemed to be no use at all; he would just fall back to sleep a few minutes later. He was exhausted, like always, from all the running back and forth, the traveling, all the world issues took their toll on everyone, Russia too. Some could handle it, some couldn't, someone as laid-back as Canada definitely couldn't, Russia knew that and worried all the time about his overworking, plus the lack of sleep Canada clearly had.

Their meeting continued with the boy fading in and out, like England or Spain were doing, America being more quiet than usual with his own issues overpowering his mind; Russia was concerned about the lack of talks or fights, he was looking forward to seeing them talk to him after a while of silence in his own home; it upset him when no one really talked. Eventually the meeting ended with Germany signing off for the next meeting in China, which Canada and America both signed at, traveling to Europe was always a hassle, especially after traveling to Lithuania today for the meeting. "Why can't we ever have a meeting in North America?" America whined. "It's a pain for us to always take ten hour flights to whatever country here!"

"Well you never let anyone into your country aru." China noted.

"Not my fault…" America glared. "But come on. I can make it work if you guys just agree for me to have a meeting!"

"Fine." Germany gave in. "It's been a while, so fine. We'll put D.C. on the list, agreed?"

"Yes! Thank you!" America smiled and pumped his fist into the air. Germany disregarded the remark and let out the meeting, everyone didn't stick around for it, except for America and Russia, who were left to clean, unlike Canada who quickly ignored everyone and was the first to leave _for once_. Russia picked up the extra papers on the floors as America cleared off his section of the table, Russia glared at him and he quickly spread his cleaning to the rest of the table. "So…Russia…" Russia looked up toward the American's awkward conversation starter. "Haven't talked to you in a pretty long time… What up?"

"Nothing." Russia cleaned up the papers without giving a single look towards the American.

"How's, um, you and Mattie?" He awkwardly ask, wasn't his business, but he wanted to know.

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Just fine." Russia gave a glare towards him. "Why do you care?"

"W-Well I just wanna make sure you two are okay," America looked away a bit. "When was the last time you and him actually saw each other or even talked?"

"None of your business America." Russia grabbed his own notes and began to leave. "Good bye now."

"H-Hey Russia,"

Russia stopped at the way out of the door and turned back at him. "What do you want?"

"He's trying." America said. Russia's heart dropped, he frowned a bit and even squinted his eyes at the hint of pain he felt in his chest when he heard this. "He really is."

"I know…" Russia turned away and quickly left out the door, his scarf flowing in the air from his speed, and left the American to clean the rest himself.

OOO

Russia knocked on the hotel room's door, hoping he wasn't being disturbing or annoying, hoping the boy was there. "Matvey?" He called a bit but there was no answer. He heard small claw marks at the bottom of the door, then the locking clicking open. The door creaked open and Russia could see the little polar bear clinging onto the door knob and hanging from it, slowly losing his grip.

"Oh. It's just you." He glared, Russia glared back then pushed the door open, making the little bear quickly let go of the knob and fall to the floor with a soft thump. Russia peeked into the completely dark room, not even the TV. on, and looked around. He could see a mess of blankets, sheets, and pillows all over the bed, then something moving beneath them. Canada moved his legs around a bit and snuggled more into his soft bed as Russia quietly closed the door behind him. He took a few steps over to the bed to find he really was sleeping, holding onto a fluffy pillow, and sleeping soundly. Russia couldn't decide to smile at the boy's peace or frown at how exhausted he was, his emotion didn't change as he covered the boy's shoulder with more of an blanket.

"He's so tired…" Russia whispered and gently brushed his fingers though the boy's hair. He twitched his eyes a bit and wrinkled his nose a bit and tighten his grip onto the pillow more. "You work yourself too hard Matvey…" He sighed and took a seat at the desk in the room and looked toward the bear.

"Haven't seen you in a while." Kumajirou said.

"Da." Russia smiled at the bear. "It's been pleasant for me."

"Not for Canada." Kumajirou said, Russia frowned.

"I-I know…" He sighed and looked away a bit. "Прости меня." He frowned and sunk in his seat a bit. He pulled his scarf over his mouth a bit, his elbow on the chair's arm, and his hand to the side of his head, looking at the sleeping boy in some kind of peace. Before he knew it, he himself had fallen asleep too. Once he realized it, he jumped awake in the chair and rubs his eyes, then realized something soft surrounded him. He looked down at the lightly colored blanket covering his body. "Chairs aren't very comfortable you know," the soft voice got Russia's full attention as he moved his eyes from the blanket to Canada sitting up in his bed, looking back at the Russian. "Come lay down." Russia titled his head a bit and smiled, lifting the blanket off him and making his way over to the bed. Canada moved over a bit as Russia sat on the edge, then laid back onto the boy's lap. "That doesn't look very comfortable either." He smirked a bit, as did Russia, as he fixed himself to lay next to the boy.

"Better?" He moved the boy's hair from out of his face. Canada smiled as Russia put his arm over the boy's waist and pulled him a bit closer. Canada softly smiled at the touch and moved into the Russian's arms, digging his face into the Russian's chest and wrapping his arm around Russia's waist as well. He cuddled up to him and took a deep breath. "I haven't been able to hold you like this for so long." Russia spoke softly, Canada's grip got a little tighter.

"I-I know." He whispered, his voice wasn't so cheerful like always, "I've missed it." Russia frowned and kissed the boy's head, keeping him close to him and closing his eyes at the familiar touch. _I've missed it _so _much. _

The next morning neither of them wanted to move. They stayed still, Canada still in his arms, as Russia awoke to silence and small cracks of light shinning in. He opened his heavy eyes and looked at the boy as he kept his eyes closed with a growing smile on his face. "I know you're awake Matvey." Russia smiled and whispered at the boy. Canada's smile got wider as he opened his eyes, he seemed so gleeful. "You look happy."

"I am." Canada Eskimo kissed Russia, he gently rubbed his nose to Russia's as the two of them smiled. Russia was used to the way Canada showed affection by now, he liked rubbing noses and cuddling, he liked to feel something familiar. Russia didn't mind it, he didn't mind showing or giving affection, it made him feel peaceful if anything; he was sane. "I asked if I could take off for a few days, since we're close to Russia." Russia blinked and looked at him.

"You can stay over?" Russia questioned. Canada smiled and nodded. "That's great."

"I do, um, have to talk with Lithuania though about something. We're trying to open trade up more to the Baltics."

"That won't work you know." Russia said. "Don't waste your time."

"Well I mean you never know. Me and Lithonia get along pretty good."

"I'm sorry to say it but he doesn't even remember you."

"Yeah yeah," Canada pouted. "I know. I know. But I already have to do it." Canada got himself out of the comfortable cuddle and stretched a bit as Russia sat up.

"I'm not sure how this will work, I have a meeting tonight."

"You just go ahead and I'll make my way back to your house tomorrow morning. No biggie."

"Are you sure?" Russia tilted his head a bit at the boy. "You're not good with directions in Russia."

"I learned some Russian so I can just tell a taxi driver and stuff." Canada said. "It'll be fine. I'm not a child, I can handle myself."

"I know you can," Russia kissed the boy's cheek. "Shall we get going then?" Canada nodded. "Good. I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

"Between morning and afternoon tomorrow, unless I get out really early but I doubt it." Canada said. Russia smiled and kissed the boy's forehead before getting up and heading for the shower, with some kind of glee for the week now. Canada got himself up as well and slipped new clothes on, but was quickly cut off when the little bear jumped on him, begging for food.

OOOO

Russia slowly came into his dark and silent house with his suitcase. He then dropped it by the door and began to take his black coat off, sighing, then glided his fingers through his hair as he walked into the house more, stressed about the meeting that had came. He felt tired, exhausted would be more of the word, and angry from how the meeting had even ended, which he wouldn't even think about right now. He felt cold, his house didn't feel any warmer than the snowy outside felt, as he made his way to his room. He imminently went for the new bottle of vodka he had on his desk, opening it and gulping down half the second his lips touched the bottle. His body shook a bit as he took deep breaths and finished off bottles one by one. By the next hour, he had already gone through nine of them and was on his tenth one now.

He forgets how he shouldn't drink around this time though, when the snow is so high and the cold takes over, he knew he would be in trouble. He didn't care about the visions that would appear or nightmares that would come when he eventually fell asleep, though it wasn't the same this time, it felt different. A brush of cold air flew through him as he turned to the door, thinking it was coming from then, as the bottle of vodka smashed onto the floor. He jumped a bit, then glared down at the bottle. The gust of air came through again, but this time, with the sound of laughter. Russia's eyes widened a bit as he turned around and around, looking for the source. He heard foot steps running through the hallway with the laughter, Russia quickly but nervously went for the door. He peeked out to find little dirt foot steps on the floor with sunflower peddles following the path of them.

He looked at them curiously, nervously, and began to follow the little foot steps, carefully trying not to step on them, as they lead to a room, his meeting room. Russia reached his hand for the door knob when the laughter inside got nervous. He hesitated first but went for the knob and turned it. Slowly, the door flung open as he looked in, seeing almost nothing but a certain something. "Sunday~ Bloody Sunday~" He could hear the soft spoken words spoken over and over again with giggles. "Sunday~ Bloody Sunday~" the voice sent shivers down his spine, he could tell who it was, who Winter was making.

"Все ваши вина" The little girl turned, dripping in blood, the gash wound through her head. Her face was covered in blood, just like the rest of her clothes, and even the dead sunflower she held in her hand. Russia backed away feeling terror, but was stopped when he bumped into something. He turned and quickly jumped away from the sight, a thin man with bloodied gun wound right between his eyes, plus scratches and cuts down his arms. He stood in the workers suit he died for, Russia backed away from the two of them. The only blonde-haired girl it Moscow, the man he had killed on Bloody Sunday, a solider he had killed when he begged to get out of the army for his family, he stood with a gun aimed at Russia's now. Russia panicked and locked himself in the bathroom as the solider shot his gun, but didn't effect anyone. He could hear the screams again, he slid down against the wall and held his hands over his ears, hoping they would stop. He pulled his knees to his chest and continued to cover his ears, his head pounded, he shook; this was worse of any time.

The illusion kept going, he couldn't even control what he was doing anymore. His thoughts ran wild and with that, a knife across his wrists. Blood splattered on the floor with each cut, he thought if he played, maybe they would go away. But when the pain began to feel good, he continued. The yelling's and cries were still there, but his own blocked them out with each cut. He clawed his own back, the skin going under his nails with blood through his clothes. He shook with terror, his eyes blank and hazy, bleeding from everywhere, even a cut on his head now. He teared up, dropped the knife, and closed his eyes in silence.

They were gone. It was silent. He slowly took a few breathes but it didn't help as the pain hit his core. He stayed silent. "R-Russia?" he heard a voice. Russia opened his eyes to the blurry vision of a person, thin, blonde sticking out of his head, his violet eyes being the only thing he could really notice. A tear rolled down Russia's cheek as he chocked out some words, but not being able to finish as he lost consciousness

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THANK YOU FOR READING

Don't own anything, blah blah, doing this at 6 in the morning cause I can~ gonna go to sleep now XD


	6. Chapter 6: Broken

Chapter 6: Broken

_The lights flickered a bit, they were too bright but still very blurry to see. The voices around him were in a familiar language, all too low or mumbled to hear. It was cold, very cold, but at the same time completely numb. Hazy, numb, cold, he couldn't tell what was happening. He slowly opened and closed his eyes, not being able to fully wake up to the scene. Finally when he felt too weak to keep his eyes awake, he closed his eyes and fell back into the darkness. _

Most of the room was silent, some small talking every few minutes, but mostly silent. The lights weren't so bright anymore, he finally could open his eyes. It was blurry at first, but his eyes finally adjusted. He couldn't move too much, he still felt numb, but he was able to look around. _Where am I? _He couldn't recognize anything, the cracking color of the walls, the cracked ceiling, the brunt out light bulbs, what _was _this place? He closed his eyes again, then quickly sat up against his numbness. He felt the bed covers around him and quickly threw them off, then opened his heavy eyes and tried to get out of bed until someone stopped him. "Russia don't!" He looked up to a familiar voice and face, Canada stood there with his hands against Russia's shoulder, trying to make sure he stayed. Russia glared and looked around more, now he knew where he was.

"Move." Russia forced himself up against his own and the boy's will to keep him down. "Move!" He shoved Canada away with his elbow and stood to his feet, but not for long. His legs were still numb, he tried to move them but he quickly fell. H didn't give up though, he tried pushing himself up again, even grabbing onto Canada to pull himself up.

"M-Med-ses-t-tra!" Canada tried calling. "M-Medsestra!" Russia still fought to get up until two nurses quickly ran in and tried to help him back into bed. He glared and was about to yell until one jabbed a syringe needle into his arm, back to the darkness he went.

Russia moaned a bit as the pain came back to him. He slowly woke up and moved around a bit, his head pounded along with pain of his wrists and back. He opened his eyes and automatically looked at the Canadian still there, now sitting in a chair close by. He glared a bit at the boy, now nervous after what had already happened with Russia. Russia kept his glare for a moment, complete eye contact, then turned his head away. "Idiot." He said with a rough tone, Canada frowned a bit, sensing his decision to call for help was a bad idea.

"I didn't know what to do, you were bleeding too badly." Canada said. "I'm sorry… I didn't know what t do…"

"You said that twice. Shut up." Russia still looked away as Canada gulped a bit and looked down.

"S-Sorry."

"You weren't even suppose to be back last night. What happened? Lithuania forget you like always?" Russia said harshly. Canada made a small fist and hugged onto the small bear sitting in his lap, knowing that really was the case, tightening his grip on him and staying silent now. It took a moment for him to realize what he blurted out, he regretted it. He looked back over at the boy, "I'm sorry." Canada looked a bit at him and gave a nod. Russia slowly sat up in his bed against the pain and looked at Canada, when he noticed something. "Matvey, what happened to your wrist?" Canada's grip on the bear tightened as he looked down at his wrist in thin cast; he pulled the sleeve of his sweatshirt down more to cover it.

"I, um, slipped on ice at the airport and sprained it." he said.

"You're a terrible liar. What happened?"

"I told you, I slipped on ice. It's a sprain." Canada said. Russia shrugged it away. He then looked back at him and hand sighed him to come over, Canada got up and put the bear on the chair and came over. Russia acted like he was going to say something, but he quickly snatched the boy's wrist with force. Canada squealed as the bear growled at Russia.

"A sprain doesn't hurt like this."

"Let go!" Canada squealed and tried pulling away but Russia didn't let him.

"I told you, you're a terrible liar." Russia smiled a bit at the boy's pain, his eyes sharp on the boy; the grip felt familiar, pleasurable.

"Отпусти!" Canada yelled. Russia snapped out of it and let go, letting Canada fly back a bit until he got his balance again. Russia blankly stared at where the boy stood, even if he wasn't there. Canada took a few deep breathes to deal with the sharp pain again, not even able to look at Russia again, though he looked right at the boy.

OOO

_Canada slowly came into Russia's house in complete darkness. He looked around as he closed the door with his back and put the bear down. He went to turn on the lights but they wouldn't turn on, was the power out? He came in more as Kumajirou walked into the Russian's living room and made himself comfortable on the couch, not caring about the situation like Canada did. "Russia?" He called out but no answer came back. It was silent, creaks of the house came about from the wind outside but nothing else. He looked in the kitchen but saw nothing, he figured the Russian must be upstairs. He slowly made his way up in the pitch dark stairs and looked around more when he noticed the door to Russia's room opened. _

_He couldn't understand what was happening, why it was so dark or where the Russian even was. He carefully opened the door and took out his phone, shinning it in for any light; he gulped. He moved the phone around the room, the light shinning of broken glass on the floor, everywhere. He could see the little droplets of blood on some of the glass and carpet, he worried. "R-Russia?" he said again. He looked around for any sign of the Russian, clearly he was in here but where was he now? He saw the window open, but no sign of him going out, then went for the bathroom door. He could see blood on the door knob and quickly tried to push the door open as something blocked it. Canada pulled his sleeve down a bit and tried turning the knob and pushing, still couldn't get it open. He tried and tried again as he pushed the door, finally cracking it enough to get in._

_He peeked in and automatically felt sick to his stomach. Blood covered the floor, puddles of it. Canada shivered and tried going in more then saw the Russian against the door, still holding onto the blood covered knife. He tried stepping around the blood to get to him, the Russian not making a single move or sound. "R-Russia?" He finally got close enough to try to check the Russian's vitals until he looked up at the boy, Canada froze for a moment._

"_H-__Помоги__…__..мне__…__..__" Russia chocked out and slowly began to close his eyes. Canada couldn't understand him but quickly tried to help him. As he grabbed towels to stop the bleeding around his wrist, Canada continuously looked at the bloodied knife still in Russia's grip; it scared him. He let go of one of the towels on the Russian's wrist and slowly, and very carefully, went for the knife. He tried grabbing onto the non-blade side and carefully began to pull it out of the Russian's hand, his grip got tighter around the knife. Russia twitched and quickly sprung the knife out at the boy. Canada jumped back with the knife swung at his face, just missing by half and inch, as the knife flew to the side after, cutting some of the boy's hair. Canada sat in the blood behind him as Russia lifted his head up and lifted the knife again, pointing at the boy, until he finally dropped it onto the floor and his head dangled down again. _

_Canada gulped, ignored the blood soaking his clothes, and quickly took out his cell phone, calling for emergency help. His Russian wasn't good, he couldn't understand completely what the other person was saying, but he spoke all he could in Russian to ask for help. Once he could understand someone was coming, he looked back toward the Russian. He finished off his phone battery and put the cell back in his pocket, then slowly making his way back to the Russian; no movement. He couldn't tell if Russia was even breathing anymore, with all the blood lost he expected Russia to be dead, the thought scared him. Canada carefully reached his hand to the Russian's face, he felt too cold. He slowly moved it down to his neck and pressed his index and middle finger to it, checking for any pulse. He felt relieved when he knew Russia was at least still alive, but completely unconscious, or so he thought. Canada took his hand away and tried pressing the towels to his bloodied wrists again, until the Russian flipped his hand over and grabbed onto the boy's wrist, tight. _

"_R-Russia, let go." Canada said as the tight grip stayed. Russia's eyes stayed open, but no other movement. "R-Russia." he said again, trying to get him out of his blank state. It didn't work though, the Russian's grip only got tighter and tighter as Canada tried pulling away; He began to crush it. Canada felt the pain striking his wrist as the grip only got tighter, crushing. "Let go!" Russia's blank expression didn't change with the boy's scream, until a eerie smile came across his face. He crushed it more, literally hearing the bone break as Canada cried for him to let go. "_Отпусти_!__" Canada screamed in pain. Russia's hand let go and fell back to the floor, his eyes closed, and his smile disappeared; he was done. Canada fell back into the blood, even hitting his head on the hard floor. He got himself up a bit and grabbed onto his wrist in pain, taking deep breaths to deal with it. He held his wrist away under his other arm and went back to the Russian, checking his vitals. He sat there now, waiting for the Russian to either strike again or stay down, waiting for help to come. _

_OOOO_

Canada kept his thoughts to himself as he rubbed his broken wrist, Russia's eyes looking over at him every few moments. He could barely remember what had happened unlike Canada. Finally after a few minutes, Russia broke the silence. "I did that didn't I?" He asked. Canada's head shot up and looked at him.

"N-No. I told you, I slipp-"

"Stop lying and just tell me. It's clearly not a sprain, so tell me." Russia said. Canada frowned and fidgeted in his seat. "Well?"

"Y-yeah," Canada's voice dropped. "Y-you crushed it when I tried to help."

"It's broken, correct?"

"Y-Yeah." Canada nodded. Russia dropped his head and looked away. Silence came again, Canada was slowly beginning to hate it. "Look, the doctors said you were hurt pretty bad so why don't you just rest eh?" Canada stood up a bit. "You should sleep a little more."

"Matthew, I'm sorry." Russia said, Canada looked at him with the sound of his real name instead of "Matvey". Russia's depressed look didn't change as he stared off. "I never wanted to hurt you, ever. I'm so sorry." For the first time, Canada could see a tear roll down Russia's cheek. "I'm sorry…."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thank you for reading~

Yeah. I'm driving Russia to cry :D oh yeah~

Yeah so a bit of a shortish chapter, I figured I should end it there so I did~ it was flash back ish chapter cause I'm sure I confused people XD

But, Sorry it took so long for this to be uploaded. I recently dealed with Hurricane Sandy and lost power for a week along with damage to the house, which was/is NOT fun. I know all my family is safe but the damage is just… heartbreaking. All my childhood memories are currently in the ocean and my friend's house is flooded, so many people have it a lot worse and its just… chaos…. And now we have a lovely snow storm hitting a week later. The lights are flickering and we will probably lose power again so I tried to finish this as fast as I could. Please don't rush me right now, I've been trying but it's in hard times right now…. Thank you.

Translations:

Russian:

Medsestra: Nurse

Отпусти: Let go

_H-__Помоги__…__..мне__…__..__: H-Help…. Me…_

Matvey: Matthew


	7. Chapter 7: Little Sneak

Chapter 7: Little Sneak

His back still ached, his arms felt too heavy to even push up on, a head ache had started to come into play now, all on top of how tired he was too. He slowly rolled over to his side in the comfort of his own bed at least and opened his dull eyes a bit, still exhausted from all his lack of sleep. He looked over toward the clock as much as he can without moving his ahcing head too much. Seeing how early morning it was, the sun barely shinning through, he closed his eyes again knowing he had nothing to do, no reason to get up before 8 am.

A small knock on the door interrupted his silence, he closed his eyes again and moved the blanket onto him more before the door slowly opened. Canada peeked in a bit holding onto the surprise he had for the Russian. He came in a bit and finally all the way as he walked up to the side of the Russian's bed and placed the bowl of oatmeal he had made for him. Russia opened one of his eyes to the boy's hand placing the bowl down, seeing the cast around the boy's shattered wrist, he closed his eye again. "You're up early?" He said, Canada turned a bit toward him.

"Oh. You're awake?" Canada smiled softly. "Good morning."

"I sure hope you slipped some Vodka in that oatmeal crap."

"I-its not crap, it's not that bad," Canada playfully pouted a bit. "And no, I did not."

"Go put some in it." Russia sat up in his bed.

"No. I won't. You remember what the doctor said right? No alcohol until your wounds are healed and a few days after."

"Hell to that! Go put some in it!"

"No Russia." Canada glared a bit and picked up the bowl and gave it to him. "Eat up, with _no_ vodka." Russia glared a bit and frowned but didn't complain as he decided to pick up the spoon and tried to eat it. After a few bites, he paused. "What's wrong?"

"It tastes like shit Matvey…"

"Well sorry if the vodka flavor is out of it!" Canada glared but Russia started to chuckle.

"Calm down Matvey, I'm still going to eat it." he took another bite. "Besides, like I've told you, I enjoy your cooking." Canada smiled a bit and sat on the bed with him, then bent over close to him and took the spoon. Russia looked at him as he dipped the spoon in and took a bite of it, Russia looked at him in a confused glare.

"I'm hungry. I didn't eat yet." he mumbled with the spoon of oatmeal in his mouth but smiled as Russia even made a small smirk. Russia took the spoon back and ate a little more, gazing his eyes back and forth from his meal to the boy's wrist still wrapped up. He frowned a bit but stayed silent. Canada stretched out a bit before Russia's voice finally spoke again.

"How is your wrist?" Russia asked but didn't look at the boy. "Does it… still hurt?" Canada rubbed his wrist a bit.

"Not as much as it did." Canada said but saw that his words didn't give any comfort to the Russian. "I-Its fine Russia. It barely hurts anymore."

"Da…" Russia still didn't look toward him.

OOO

"Canada!" Russia yelled as he looked through his kitchen counters and fridge, "CANADA! ! !" the yelling scared the boy in his room as he tried doing some paperwork, he quickly fell off the seat as Russia's yells shook the entire house. Canada panicked and quickly ran down the stairs to the kitchen, thinking Russia was somehow hurt, or _something _happened.

"Quoi? !" He panted as he ran into the kitchen to see the Russian sitting on the floor, sitting against the fridge. "W-What happened! ?"

"I can't find the Vodka…" Russia said with a voice that sounded completely destroyed in sorrow. "I can't find it Canada…" Canada simply stood there in somewhat amazement.

"Y-You're kidding right?"

"Nyet… I can't find the Vodka…"

"I told you! No vodka until your wounds heal! And time after!"

"B-but-"

"No buts!"

"But Canada!"

"What?…"

"That Vodka is like my child! Did you dump it! ?"

"No I didn't dump it. I hid it. You won't find a single bottle." Canada crossed his arms as Russia frowned and slowly fell into shock.

"Nyet! Give me my Vodka!"

"Nyet." Canada glared. "No Russia. Not til your wounds are healed."

"But it helps my wounds!"

"… Bull shit."

"It does! It gets me drunk and because of that I don't feel the pain and I pass out and rest! See? All good!" Russia desperately tried to talk Canada into giving it back, nothing seemed to work though.

"Here, in your language," Canada took a deep breath then glared. "Nyet."

"Matveyyyyy." Russia whined. "Pleaseeee." Canada shook his head and moved the Russian out of the way to get into the fridge and reached inside. "You're giving me some?"

"It's called Russian water right?"

"Da!" Russia started to smile until Canada took a plastic bottle out and tossed it to him.

"There. Water. From Russia. Russian water." Canada grinned but Russia didn't find it as funny. He glared at the boy.

"Not funny." he said, slowly gaining his dark aura around him.

"I thought it was." Canada ignored the Russian's aura and quickly rushed away. "Now get back to bed." Russia continued to glare at the boy until he was gone.

"Back to bed?… Ha. Funny." He slowly got himself up against the pain striking his arms while doing it. He looked around a bit before going up the stairs to his room, looking at the desk he quickly opened it to find his bottle gone, _figures. _He smiled though and reached his hands into the draw, under a hidden bottom, and picked it up, smiling to find his hidden stash; he went into shock. The three bottles he had hidden there were all gone, the forth one completely empty. He gritted his teeth. "Oh you little…." he somewhat slammed the draw back in and quickly hurried to the bathroom, looking in the cabinet to find another hidden stash gone. He turned to his closet, turned on the light, and went for the shoe box he had in the back; empty of his precious vodka yet again.

He smiled though, thinking the Canadian just hid the ones in his room. He traveled into the room next door, which used to belong to Ukraine. He peeked in the draw next to her old bed but frowned, gone again. He quickly went to Belarus's room, empty. To Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania's room, sneaking into the closet for the stash but having no luck. He gritted his teeth more and headed for the stairs until Canada peeked out of his room and stood in the way. "You're suppose to be in bed."

"I wanted to walk around da?"

"Your wounds Russia."

"They don't hurt."

"Lair. Go lay down." Canada said firmly. "Now."

"Okay I will." Russia put his hands up in a "don't shoot" way. "I'm just going downstairs to get a drink da?"

"I'll get it."

"Go do your paperwork you slacker." Russia smirked a bit as Canada glared and pouted. "Da. I know your lacking. Go ahead." Canada sighed and let it go, going back into his room. Russia gave a little knock on the door to annoy the boy, smiled, and went downstairs. He snuck into the living room and took out one of the couch cushions, then removed another secret bottom to a small compartment under it; empty. "Where the hell is he hiding all of it?…" He said to himself and put the cushion back. He moved into his little weapons basement. He turned on the lights and made it past the table of weapons, turning to the white cabinet on the wall. He smiled and quickly opened it, then stood there dumbfounded. "Where the…" he slowly got angry. "Where the hell are all of them! ?"

OOO

Russia slowly peeked into the boy's room in complete darkness. He peeked in to only find the boy in a deep sleep, he smiled and slowly opened the door, coming in more to the room. He slowly walked over and bent down to the dresser next to him, carefully opening it as quiet as he could, peeking at Canada every few seconds to make sure he was still asleep. He creaked the draw open then paused when the creaking got to loud. He quickly looked over to Canada, slowly moving around in his bed but stopped; he sighed in relief and opened it more then peeked in smiling. One bottle, he smiled and quickly took it into his hand, then frowned; empty. He slowly turned his head to Canada and glared. "You're really something else." he whispered.

OOOOOOO

Thank you for reading~

Mehhhh short chapter *shrug* I was gonna get dramatic with it but I kinda just stared at the screen debating wither I should or not for like 20 minutes and tried doing it and it didn't seem to be a good idea… merp. Next chapter I'll put it in *nod nod* so the next chapter is gonna be dramatic and evil muw haha *ahem* … yup XD

But recently I haven't been feeling good so I've just been sleeping a lot when I was going to write this and I forgot most of my ideas -.-' (that's really a problem for me ^^') but just laying in bed and typing shouldn't be too much trouble? So I think it's gonna be okay~ just need to actually sleep at night and stop reading other fan fics XDDD I might just upload another chapter in another day or two O.o? I dunno XD


	8. Chapter 8: Scars

Chapter 8: Scars

"_Are you lost little one?…" _

_The voice echoed through my head… through the air… that voice was all I could hear… _

"W-Who are you?…"

_Falling snow was soft… it never made a sound… except for me…. I always heard it… always heard him…_

"_Little one, you're a country aren't you?" _

_I shouldn't of said yes… I should of run away…. I should of just ignored him…._

"Who… are you?…."

_Did I even have a choice?…. I had no clue what I was even doing…_

"_You'll freeze to death out here little one." the voice scared me… "Come with me, yes?"_

_The cold… if it wasn't so cold… C-…could I of even survived back then?…. I-I….. _

OOO

"Russia. Do you know where my maple syrup is?" Canada looked up in the cabinets trying to find the sweet substance that made him smile, only this time, he was frowning.

"I don't know." Russia said taking a sip of coffee at the table. "Do you know where my Vodka is?" Canada paused as Russia got a greedy smile across his face. "I might know something… but then again, I might not." Canada slowly turned to Russia with a total death glare.

"Russia. Where is it?"

"Like I said, where is my vodka?"

"The doctor said none until your wounds are healed Russia! Alcohol is poisonous to your blood and with the amount a blood you lost, there's not that much left to not be poisoned!"

"Matvey people die in Russia from alcohol poisoning or some kind of death related to it every day."

"How will that help you! ?"

"I've been drinking for many, many years. Am I dead? Nyet." Russia crossed his arms. "Don't discourage my drinking ways."

"Shut up Russia…" Canada glared. "Just give me my maple please."

"How about a trade? Your maple for my vodka."

"Russia I took it away to help your health."

"Then I'll do the same to you." Russia's smile came back. "You know Matvey, you have quite the sugar problem. Maybe it's all the sugary maple syrup and candies you put in your body."

"W-What?" Canada blinked. "Hey! Don't make this about me!"

"If you keep up with all that sugar intake, you'll end up getting diabetes or some disease Matvey."

"Don't change this to me Russia!"

"I wouldn't want my little Canada getting sick in the hospital for something that could have been avoided."

"Russia!"

"Maybe it's a good thing you take a break, da?" Russia smiled as the boy looked like he was going to lose it. "Unless… you give me my Vodka? Then we can both be happy, da?"

"I'm not giving them to you Russia." Canada firmly said and continued to lose it.

"Then you won't find any of your maple things. None of them. Not in my house, not in your bag, nothing hidden, nothing at all." Russia smiled, he finally had the boy at his end, he felt as if Canada was in the palm of his hand, but the boy still had another card up his sleeve.

"Maybe you're right." Canada said. "I could use a break from all that sugar for a while so I don't get sick like you said."

"W-What?"

"I'll just have to wait until you heal to taste maple again." Canada closed his eyes and smiled a bit. "I'm pretty sure I can handle a week or two."

"W-wh-," the Russian was speechless. "Nyet! You're suppose to beg and ask for it back and give into me!"

"I know." Canada gave him a sneaky look. "But I'm not going to give in. I'm a big boy, I can handle a few days without maple."

"I doubt that." Kumajirou yawned under the table. "I can't remember a time you stopped eating that stuff since you found out about it Cananada."

"Yeah cause I never had to before. But just cause I haven't doesn't mean I can't, I have control," Canada looked away from the bear and back to Russia. "Unlike someone." Russia glared but then chuckled.

"Matvey, that is a complete lie." he chuckled. "You won't be able to handle it."

"Watch me." OOO

In just a few days, he was cracked, completely done, barley able to even get out of bed anymore; he felt completely done. He had started cracking day three, by the time the forth one came he was already losing it. On the other hand, Canada was doing just fine eh? "Russia~ Good morning~" Canada happily as he came into the Russian's room as he motionlessly laid in his bed.

"Vodka… I miss my Vodka…I need my Vodka…" he moaned, Canada only stood there in disbelief, shaking his head at the Russian. "I can't focus without Vodka…. I can't live without Vodka…"

"I'm pretty sure you can live without Vodka Russia…" Canada sighed as the Russian still stayed in the same place in his bed, halfway covered by the covers and laying away from the door. "Come on, sit up, grow up."

"Nyet… not without my vodka… I have no meaning without my vodka…"

"Russia shut up." Canada sat down on the best. "You have meaning and life and everything, just chill out a bit will ya?"

"I will…. When I have my vodka…" Russia moaned, Canada glared and poked the back of the Russian's head.

"Come on, sit up. I wanna start taking the bandages off." Canada, the Russian opened his eyes quickly and started to turn his head to the boy. "Yeah, you heard me right. Sit up." he slowly pushed himself onto his forearms and up. "Shirt off." Russia glared a bit but then began unbuttoning his pajama shirt and putting it aside, leaving his scarf still on.

"Are you sure it's okay for them to come off?"

"The doctor said by the end of the week. Believe it or not, it's Thursday." Canada reached for Russia's wrist. "Can I?" Russia nodded. Canada carefully began to unwrap the bandages around his right wrist, Russia watching him in doing so, making the boy a bit nervous for some reason. When he finally unwrapped the last part, both of them could see the damage done. Scars, multiple scars, ran across his wrist, across the veins and bones showing, across his pale skin. They were fresh, some pink while others started blending in a bit, but they were all still deep for if you rubbed across them you would know. Canada frowned a bit, he hated seeing Russia hurt, he hated seeing anyone hurt. But his eyes gazed toward Russia, the man not making a single sound or movement, he just stared at the scars, no sorrow or happiness, nothing. Canada moved his hands to the other arm, looked at Russia for consent, which he gave with a nod, then began to unwrap the other one. The same, not any better or any worse, but the same deep cuts across the pale skin. Canada looked toward Russia, still nothing but his blank eyes staring at the old wounds. "R-Russia?…" Russia looked toward the boy, waiting for him to add on, which Canada tried to do after a small gulp. "T-Their just s-scars… they'll heal like the rest right?"

"Da…" Russia grabbed onto his scarf a bit, remembering the scars Winter had given him so long ago, the ones that were always reopened and always stayed. "They will heal… like the rest…"

"S-Should we do your back?" Canada asked. Russia looked down at the bandages still wrapped around his chest to back, then looking back at the Canadian he nodded. Russia looked away a bit as Canada unwrapped the bandages carefully, he knew these wounds were a lot worse. Before he could finish though Russia covered his eyes. "R-Russia?" Russia didn't move his hand.

"Go to room, da?" Canada heard.

"W-What?"

"Get up and go to your room."

"W-Why?"

"Just do it. Please." Russia told him. Canada frowned a bit and got up, getting the Russian to uncover his eyes and allow him to walk away. "Don't look. Just go." Canada kept his eyes somewhere else, then turned around and walked toward the door, then tried looking back until Russia's harsh voice told him no. Canada obeyed and left the room, leaving Russia to himself.

He threw his shirt back onto his shoulders and covered his scarred mess. He sat in silence before doing anything else, staring blankly out, then moved his eyes to the bandages laying in a pile on the bed. "Their only scars…. They will heal…" he said to himself. "They will heal…" he grabbed onto his sleeve tightly and squinted his eyes a bit. "Just…scars…" he closed his eyes in pain, the numb feeling was gone, the cuts finally took their toll after he had been ignoring it for so long. He got a cold shiver down his spine, which snapped him out of his strange daze, as he shivered and buttoned up his shirt again. He sighed and got up, figured he would explain a bit to the boy, after feeling both ashamed and embarrassed at the time. He went for the door and moved to Canada's, ready to knock and ask for entrance but instead he paused with the sound of the boy talking, but that wasn't it.

He could feel his body shiver and shake, completely frozen with the feeling that _he_ was there. Russia carefully cracked open the door to find what he never expected. His eyes widen with the glance of that _demon_, the ghost who haunted him day and night, the thing that chilled him the most; General Winter. The longer he peeked in, the more he shivered, the very sight of that demon talking to that boy shot too many fake ideas in his head. The boy stared blankly, mumbling back if he talked at all, but he was still talking, they still knew each other, that scared Russia most of all. Without a single thought, he barged in for an attack.

Winter disappeared in a flash, only leaving Russia to attack the boy poor. He rushed, panicked, and grabbed onto the boy and slammed him into the wall, then tightened his grip onto the boy's throat, "How do you know him! ?" Russia yelled. Canada stood in shock and grabbed onto the Russian's wrists, trying to pull them away; he shivered. Russia growled and lifted the boy off his feet, "HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM! ?" Russia yelled again in panic. Canada struggled to breathe with the Russian's grip slowly getting tighter every second that passed. Canada chocked and tried talking but nothing would come out, all he could do was watch and experience the Russian's anger. He began to feel dizzy, his sight slowly going out but back again, his own grip loosing away from the Russian's wrists. He started to close his eyes a bit but finally managed to chock something out before Russia could completely kill him.

"Y-you…k-know…. Who he….I-is?…."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thank you~

Well I mean… it was all happy and nice in the beginning… then I went dark. Oopsie. So basically Russia panicked because he didn't know how to react, most people act very rash and harshly in that situation when they panic. So yup. Yuppy yup *nod nod* The beginning is a nightmare by the way, a nightmare with winter which will be explained later on *nod nod*

Not much to say…. Hmm….


	9. Chapter 9: смерть

Chapter 9: смерть

_I should of run away… I should of ignored him… I shouldn't of said yes… _

_Did I even have a choice back then?… _

_I would of died… wouldn't I?… _

"_You'll die out here little one," the voice echoed around him. "It's too cold."_

Early 1600s….

_The small nation finally fell in the newly blanket of snow. He shook but didn't move, he couldn't even move anymore, he felt too numb. But his small polar bear, just a little smaller then himself, only jumped in front of him and nudged him to come on. The little one couldn't move though, he couldn't even speak anymore. The little bear carefully got to the side of him and tried using his paw to pull the little nation under him, which he managed to do. He could feel his owner shake and shiver but he tried to keep him warm in the only way he could. He looked at his owners face, the little one's lips actually turning blue with his pale face, his light blonde hair covered in snow and even becoming ice. He tried covering the little one from the harsh snow wind, but it won't stop the boy's shivering; there was nothing he could do… _

_That was when he appeared, his shadow covering them. The little bear looked up and even growled, but that didn't stop the figure from picking the bear up by it's leg and then picking up the small child into his arms. Against the bear's growls, the stranger walked them to someplace a little warmer… and disappeared. _

_The little nation managed to wake up with his head on his bear's side, using him like a pillow. He rubbed his eyes a bit and sat up off the bear. "K-Kumajirou." he coughed a bit and the bear picked his head up, then got up. The boy coughed a little more as the bear came over and rubbed his head under the boy's chin, then he grabbed onto the boy and began shaking again. He looked around more, curious about why there was no wind anymore, and found they had shelter. He couldn't remembered what happened but he sat there with his little bear, trying to stay as warm as he could. _

"_You're a country…. aren't you little one?…" _

_OOO_

Canada didn't move from the couch. He had wrapped himself up in a blanket and laid there, not falling asleep, not moving, not talking, just laying there still. Russia looked in at him with a frown on his face, knowing he took it _way_ too far. He didn't mean to, he panicked, but he did hurt Canada, and he really couldn't stand that. "Matthew…" He tried coming in but Canada covered his face with the blanket. "M-Matthew. I'm really sorry I did that." Canada stayed hidden in his blanket. "Matthew I'm sorry. I got carried away…. A-Are you alright?…." Still no answer. Russia frowned more and walked away, leaving him alone.

Canada moved himself and sat up on the couch, then took the blanket off his head. He took his good hand and put it around his throat, just the simple touch hurt. After all, it had actually bruised pretty bad. He looked over at Kumajirou sitting next to him, the bear immediately climbed over and sat on his lap. Canada couldn't even smile at the bear, he hugged onto the bear though and kept him there. "Canda, you okay?" Kumajirou looked up at him but he blankly just stared out, even tightening his grip a bit on the bear. "Canda?" still nothing, it seemed like not one thing would snap him out of his strange daze.

Hours began to pass before Canada actually moved. Russia saw him slowly go up the stairs to his room, the blanket still wrapped around him. Russia opened his mouth to say something but never said a word as the boy went up, then hearing the door gently close. He sighed then scratched the back of his head. "What in the hell am I going to do?…" he whispered to himself. He tried going up the stairs and knocked on the boy's door. It had been long time since he could talk to him, maybe he had calmed down a bit from his fear. "Matthew. Can I come in?" there wasn't a single sound back, not his voice, not movement, nothing. Russia frowned again. He walked away to his room and stayed there for the night.

The next morning he tried once again. He knocked gently on the door, "Matthew?" he called out with still no answer back. He gulped a bit and began to walk away again but paused and came back, grabbing onto the knob and gently opening it. He peeked in slowly and looked for the boy. "Canada…" he frowned again once he saw the boy. Kumajirou sat by him but still not close enough as the boy laid on the bed, curled up in a ball with his knees to his chest. Russia came in a little more, he felt worse and worse as did, seeing the boy's eyes blank and tired, circles under them, and just how pale he was. Russia sat down on the side of the bed, against the bear's growling at him, and tried to touch the boy's shoulder. "Matthew." he managed to put his hand down on his shoulder.

Canada gulped and his eyes twitched a bit but let Russia touch him. "Canada… I'm really sorry. I didn't-," he paused with the feeling of the boy shaking, his heart dropped for once. "Can-"

"How many people…" Canada finally spoke, his voice scratchy and tired, but still spoken.

"How many people what?" Russia bent over a bit toward him, he couldn't hear the boy's low voice.

"How many people… have seen those eyes?…" Canada shook a little more. Russia paused and stared blankly at him. Flashbacks seemed to flash in Canada's head, those murderous eyes, they scared him to death.

"W-What do you mean?…" Russia gulped. "Are you asking… How many people-"

"How many people did you kill?…" Canada didn't move his eyes away from his blank stare out across the room. But Russia, Russia shook a bit, gulped, and looked away. "Canada I-"

"How many Russia?…"

Russia gulped again and kept his eyes away from the boy. "More than you could imagine." he flinched a bit with the words. "Matthew… I…-" he stopped. "I'm sorry…"

"Did they all deserve it?…"

"…Nyet… None of them deserved it…" Russia finally looked toward him. "And I wish I could take it back. But I can't… I couldn't even control myself…" he looked down. "I couldn't even control myself when I hurt you…"

"You just can't control it… huh?…." Canada finally moved himself and sat up in the bed, keeping his knees to his chest still.

"I'm sorry Canada…" Russia tried grabbing onto the boy's hand, Canada barely letting him. "I-I just panicked, I-"

"Guess how many people I've killed Russia?" his blank stare came back.

"W-What?…" Russia looked at him surprised, he gulped. "Matthew, what are you… talking about?…"

"I've killed people too… all of them were controlled… all of them didn't deserve it… or did they?" he shrugged. "I can't ask them now."

"C-Canada what are you-"

"No one deserves to die…"

"C-Can,"

"Russia," Canada looked toward him. "General Winter saved my life." Russia's mouth started to fall open until he stopped himself. But he looked at the boy surprised, concerned, curious, all different thoughts flooded in his head about the boy's statement. "You think of him as evil, I do too. But he's the reason I'm even have a life…"

OOO

_The little nation climbed through the snow once again, this time in the day light. Kumajirou followed close behind him, watching his owner struggle through the deep blanket of cold. But Canada continued to climb through, panting even. Kumajirou sniffed toward him, seeing if he was okay through his only communication he knew. Canada tried to smile at the little bear, showing nothing was wrong, but he shivered and struggled to walk, his legs felt too cold and weak to even stand; he quickly fell once again into the blanket. Kumajirou whimpered a bit, then ran in front of him to check on him. Canada shook but looked up at the bear with no worried face. _

_Animal instincts kicked in a bit, Kumajirou acted like he was taking care of a cub when he himself was still just a cub. He made his way close in front of the boy as he got up. Kumajirou hinted for him to get on his back, which Canada tried not to take but Kumajirou made him. He took him on his back and carried the little boy as far as he could. Kumajirou could feel the little nation slowly slipping off, slowly falling asleep. He finally settled down under any kind of shelter he could find in the barren area. He settled under a tree and placed the nation down, then began digging out some of the snow by the tree. The little bear looked back at his owner every few seconds only to find him falling asleep and shivering. He dug faster until he hit the ground, then cleared it out a bit and looked back at Canada; now he was out. Kumajirou whimpered and jumped over to him. Getting a good bite on the back of his shirt, Kumajirou pulled the little one onto the grass and snuggled him the best he could. _

_Canada slowly opened his blank and pale colored eyes, the cold felt like it smacked him in the face when he finally came to. He shivered again and snuggled into the bear's fur, barely able to feel his body anymore. His lips were blue, his skin pale enough to blend in with all the snow, he kept his hands covered the best he could but he couldn't even feel them anymore. Kumajirou tried his best to keep the little one warm but nothing seemed to work. His panting became heavier and harder as he began to close his eyes again, Kumajirou moved himself a bit and tired to keep him awake but it seemed like he was just too tired._

"_It hurts…" Canada chocked out, he slowly moved his cold hand to his throat and tried taking deep breathes, he could barely breathe anymore, his chest ached, he felt too tired to stay awake anymore. He started fading in and out of consciousness, nothing made a sound, there was nothing to feel anymore, it felt like the end. _

_That's when he heard it. _

_The voice sent shivers down his spine, "Are you lost little one?" Canada opened his heavy eyes to the dark, hazy figure standing there. He could barely see him, the dark figure flowing in the wind, but he knew there was something odd about him. He saw the figure getting closer, Kumajirou only growled at him._

"_W-Who are you?…" Canada chocked out. The figure didn't move or talk, he simply stood there in silence. Kumajirou became more protective as the figure's crimson eyes glowed and he spoke._

"_Little one, you're a country aren't you?" "W-Who…are you?…"_

"_You'll freeze to death out here little one." the voice became more serious than any kind of friendly . "Come with me, yes?" Canada blankly stared at the figure. Slowly, the figure reached his shackle chained hand down to the boy as Canada tried standing up. He put two finger tips to the boy's chest, "You don't want to die… do you?" Canada's eyes widen with fear, he could finally see the dark face. He saw a pale man, his cold skin a mixture of peach, white, even grey and blue. His dark grey hair seemed to cover a bit over one of his eyes. But his eyes, those were the things that scared him the most. They glowed like the violet eyes of a monster ready to take it's prey and devourer it. "I'll help you little one. With me, you'll never be left alone in the cold, you'll be strong." _

"_I.."_

"_Come with me…" He moved his hand away from the boy's chest and held it out, waiting for the boy to grab on. "Join me." _

_OOO_

"I shouldn't of done it!" Canada cried. "I should of never taken his hand! I was a fool! An idiot! How stupid could I have been! ?" he cried out as Russia sat there, taking every bit of information in. "I was just afraid… I didn't know what to do… I was so cold… I was dying! I didn't want to disappear so soon!" he cried out and sobbed uncontrollably, Russia trying to put his hand on the boy's shoulder, do something, to calm the boy down.

"C-Canada," He moved himself closer to the boy and grabbed onto him. "It's okay Canada, its okay." he slowly brought the boy close to him and hugged onto him. "It's not your fault, understand?" Canada kept his head to Russia's chest and continued to sob as Russia rubbed his back and hushed him. It seemed like nothing would help though, he continued to wail like a small child against all of Russia's help.

Russia only felt guilty now, all this because he had to question it, because _he_ had lost his temper, his control. He sat the boy down for a minute and left him, going into his bathroom and grabbing something that would help. He came back with a glass of water for the boy and gave it to him, "Drink it. Calm down and drink it." Canada sniffled a bit, shivered, and still let tears run down his face. But he managed to drink the glass fully. Russia took it away, placed it on the nightstand, and hugged onto Canada again. He could still hear the boy's whimpering and sniffling for a few more minutes until it all died down.

Kumajirou looked over from his spot on the bed and toward them. "What did you do to him?" Russia gently laid the boy down, seeing how he was fast asleep now, then looked over to Russia. "I gave him something to calm his mind." Russia covered the boy with a blanket. "He was losing it." he looked away from the boy. "It's just too much for him." he frowned and looked back, then grabbed onto the boy's cold hand. "He was tricked… just like me…" he grabbed on tighter and glared out the window at the white blanket of snow, with all hatred her had.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thanks for reading

I updated~ yay~ I've been kinda busy lately with stuffy stuff so I just haven't had time to really sit down and type this stuff up, I was kinda stuck if you can't tell ^^'

But yuppers. So that's pretty much Canada's connection, at least in my view. He joined with General Winter and stuff, there's probably gonna be more of that. But yeah he told Russia hiss entire connection and lost it because he's afraid of what he did (Winter also torture him). Russia wanted him to calm down and crushed some pills into a cup of water and gave it to him, it knocked him out. So Canada should stay pretty calm _for now. _I like to just kill my fav character's mental states ^^' its such a problem O.o

Russian Translation:

Смерть: Death


	10. Chapter 10: Souvenirs Vierges

Chapter 10: souvenirs vierges

Canada woke up to a blurry and spinning room, extremely dizzy to add on as well. He slowly sat up in his bed, grabbing onto his head to stop feeling like he was spinning or falling. He tried closing his eyes and then reaching for his glasses on the nightstand. He carefully put his glasses on and tried opening his eyes, still feeling dizzy. Kumajirou peeked his head up from under the covers and looked at him as he tried to get up and out of bed, stumbling a bit into the wall. Kumajirou jumped off the bed and followed him as he attempted to go into the hallway.

He slowly stumbled down the stairs, smelling something burning, and then stumbled into the kitchen. He fixed his glasses a bit and looked toward the Russian at the stove. "Well it's about time you woke up Matvey. It's late for you." Russia didn't turn around and continued cooking.

Canada only tilted his head a bit. "Was I… Drinking last night?" It was the only explanation he could think of, he felt hung over, and he couldn't remember a single thing. "Da you did." Russia lied but acted very convincing. "An entire bottle of Vodka Matvey." he looked toward him a bit. "You started striping." Canada blushes a bit and nervously giggled.

"I-I did?"

"Da. You did." Russia could see Kumajirou eyeballing him, even growling a bit. "Hmm… I wonder what polar bear jerky would taste like kol~" Kumajirou felt a shiver down his spine as he gulped and hid under the table.

"R-Russia!"

"Sorry. Your bear was eyeing me like I was food." Russia smiled a bit. "Do you want any breakfast?"

"Um… Depends did you cook it like England?…" Canada slowly sat down at the table, feeling like he was gonna miss the seat too. He then picked Kumajirou up onto his lap as Russia put food on a plate. He brought it over and placed it on the table for the boy.

"I'm not a bad cook." Russia sat next to him. "My cooking is just Russian and yours is more… you."

"Um… Russia, no offense, but why are you cooking breakfast?… especially… this." Canada poked his fork at the sunny-side-up eyes. "Like, it looks normal."

"What? I attempted to make those waffle circles and that pork stuff and those scrambled eggs."

"Their just called waffles, its called pork-roll, and their sunny-side-up eggs not scrambled."

"… That's what I said."

Canada giggled a bit. "No it's not."

"… What's the difference?" Russia smirked and even chuckled a bit. "Just eat your sunny waffles." Canada giggled a bit and began eating, feeding some to Kumajirou as well. Russia began eating too, but continued looking at the boy, it amazed him how the boy could just forget what had happened, he seemed to remember nothing at all, not even the chocking. Russia looked away back to his food and continued eating.

That was an effect winter seemed to have on him. Blank memories would fill his mind, there were always certain spots he didn't remember; it was taken away from his memory. He assumed that it was the same way with Canada, he looked back at him. "Hey Matvey…" Russia asked, Canada took a sip of his coffee and looked toward him. "Do you ever have these moments when you just… don't remember _anything_? Like its missing where something should be?"

Canada looked at him. "Yeah but, I mean, doesn't everyone? Especially when people drink eh?"

"Not like drinking forgetting. Just you remember something then its blank and then you can remember it again?" Russia asked. Canada thought about it, trying to remember if that was true with that.

"I mean…. I guess so." Canada said, Kumajirou only looked at him then to Russia. "Like more when I was a kid." Russia nodded a bit. "What's with that all of a sudden?"

"Just curious…" Russia said. He went back to eating as did Canada, but he couldn't help but think about it now, a lot of memories missing were from when he was a child, but it was different; blood was always involved. He could remember picking up a knife during a fight breaking out, blacking out completely, only to remember Ukraine and Belarus washing the blood off his face. It _scared_ him how often it would happen. Looking at Canada, he wondered just what the boy couldn't remember.

Canada yawned a bit as he finished. "Thanks for the breakfast Russia." He smiled a bit, Russia only nodded. "Hey you okay?"

"Da everything is fine." Russia took a sip of his coffee. "Just tired." he looked at the boy again, even the bruises around his throat were gone, it only looked a little red.

"Sorry did I keep you up?…"

"Nyet. I just couldn't sleep last night." He said. "You fell asleep fairly simple." Kumajirou glared at the Russian as he continued to stretch out the lie. The awkward silence came about as Russia took the plates and put them into the sink for a later clean. He took a deep breath and sighed. "We need a break."

"W-What?" Canada's head popped up a bit.

"I mean like a vacation Matvey." Russia turned from him. "I'm a little tired of always being surrounded by blankets and blankets of snow, and I can tell you are too. So why don't we go somewhere?"

"L-Like where?"

"Wherever you want Matvey." Russia said. "Actually, I believe the next meeting is in Madrid. So let's try to stick around that side of the world." Canada thought a bit and smiled. "You thought of somewhere?"

"I'm not sure if you're gonna like it or not though." Canada smiled nervously. "It's just… um…"

"Go ahead. Say what you want."

"Paris…"

"Paris? France?" Russia questioned. "Why France? So you can see your papa?"

"Well I suppose that too…" Canada scratched the back of his head. "But it's where we had, I suppose you can call it, our first date." Russia blinked. "I-I mean if you don't wanna we don't have to." Russia crossed his arms and thought about it for a minute.

"Would you like to leave tonight or tomorrow?"

"Y-You wanna go! ?" Canada's face lit up with his smile, Russia smiled.

"It will make you happy, I wouldn't mind too much, I don't see why not." Russia said. Canada got up and hugged the Russian with a bright smile, Russia simply hugged it back. "So tonight or tomorrow?"

"Whatever you wanna do eh?"

"I doubt we will get a flight any time today so I'll try for tomorrow." Russia said. Canada's smile wouldn't fade as he gave the Russian a kiss on his cheek. Russia smiled and even blushed a bit, he _still_ wasn't used to this affection. "J-Just don't overslept." Canada nodded. OOOOO

"I told you _not_ to oversleep Matvey!" Russia called as he stood at the door. "Matvey! I'm dumping the maple down the-"

"Not the maple!" He could hear the boy yell, finally he was getting his ass moving.

"Come on Matvey." Russia took a sip of coffee from his mug. "Hurry up." He could hear bangs and movement in the boy's room, even hearing him fall. What a klutz he was, he could hear the boy whine. "Did you hit your head or break something?'

"Non…." Canada moaned.

"Then you should still be hurrying." He took another sip as Kumajirou crawled down the stairs, Canada following close behind with his bag, his messy hair, and his glasses on his head.

"Russia I can't find my-"

"On your head." Russia said. Canada tried looking up, like that would do something, and reached for them. He then took them off his head and back onto his face instead, feeling completely stupid. "Better?" Canada nodded. "Are you ready to go?" Canada nodded again. "Are you just going to nod or are you going to move?" Canada stood there for a moment and then yawned. Russia got a stupid glare at him. "MATVEY!"

"Holy maple I'm awake!" He jumped and quickly rubbed his eyes. "I'm ready I'm ready."

"Good. Now get in the car." Russia opened the door for him. "Move your little butt." Canada nodded, yawned, and began to walk out the door with his bag, Kumajirou following close behind him. Russia watched the boy leave and closed the door behind him, locking it and then following him to the car and getting in. "Seat belt Matvey." Matthew looked around a bit for the strap and then put it on. Russia looked at how out the boy was, having to put his buckle in for him. Kumajirou sat on the boy's lap as he yawned with his eyes closed. Russia sighed a bit and began driving, soon to arrive to the airport.

He helped the tired boy out of the car as he grabbed their bags and went into the airport. They got their tickets and put their bags through, then made their way through the medal detectors, once again having it go off on Russia like it always did. Canada waited until Russia's own people finished searching him and allowed him into the rest of the station. Once that happened, Russia made a small stop at the café there and got the boy some coffee before they went to the waiting area. Slowly the boy woke up more as he drank the coffee and became more active, talking to Russia a little more. Kumajirou however seemed to never fully wake up.

Once their flight was called they made their way in and got their seats, Russia putting their small handbags into the overhead compartment then sitting down with him and Kumajirou in the middle. "Switch seats with your bear and put him at the window seat." Russia commented. Canada shook his head though.

"I like the window seat." he smirked a bit. "Maybe in a little while if I gotta stretch."

"I want to sit next to you though." Russia gave him a pout. Canada sighed but smiled and picked up the little bear, moved over to the middle seat, and put the bear by the window. "Much better Matvey~" Canada smiled a bit. The next hour went by pretty fast as Canada played a game on his phone and Russia listened to some music, even Kumajirou was calm while he slept. Canada eventually rested his head on the Russian's shoulder as he got tired of his games and tried to rest his eyes. The flight went fast though, which was good for Canada because he was always tired of long European flights. But they arrived after noon, very good for a three hour flight. They took their belongings and came off the plane. Then before doing anything else, they got lunch in the café.

France. Paris France. Russia could smell it already, once he commented about it though Canada only scolded him and called it rude. Canada enjoyed the taste of the French food as Russia only began to get used to it. Canada of course fed small pieces of meat to the small white bear as he ate his food. Once they finished, they grabbed their luggage, went through the medal detectors again, and moved to go call a taxi. "Is France expecting us?"

"I called him so he should be." Canada said.

"Da if you say so." Russia said. Canada looked down toward Kumajirou to make sure he was still following. They came out of the air port into the cool air, some of roof still covered with snow and ice. He walked out with the Russian and was about to call a taxi until his klutziness kicked in again when he didn't notice ice. Canada stepped on the fresh piece of ice and quickly slipped backwards onto his back, hitting hard on the ground. "Matvey!?

OOOOOOOO

I don't own the characters used in this.

Hey I updated again yay XD

So I know it's been really dark with the story so I'm gonna try to lighten it up. I like fluffies XD so that's what it's gonna be for a little bit, then I'll get back to all the real drama and death stuffy stuff x_x

And yeah. France is coming back… O.O (hon hon XD)

*uhhh… SPOIL* (for what I do to Canada and Russia later, I think they deserve a small reward for putting up with my shit now haha /shot/)

Translations:

souvenirs vierges: Blank Memories


	11. Chapter 11: Klutz

Chapter 11: Klutz

"C'est bon, c'est bon. Je peux prendre soin d'elle." Canada spoke as a medic continued to check him for any injuries. "Je vais aller voir un médecin quand je partirai. C'est très bien." Russia stood at the side with the little bear in his arms, neither of them too happy, as Canada attempted to take care of his situation. Why must the boy be such a klutz?

"Avez-vous un avocat?" another man asked, Canada assumed he was one of the bosses.

"Non je ne suis pas et je n'ai pas besoin." Canada sighed. "Je vais bien, si je viens de rentrer à la maison oui?" The boss nodded and so did the medic, then he helped the Canadian up, he hid his painful expression so he could go. But Russia could tell the boy could barely stand up and tried to put more weight on his left leg more than his right, obviously he was hurt. Canada slowly limped toward Russia, him opening the door for the boy, and then following his way out.

"Matvey are you alright?" Russia asked. "What was the medic saying?"

"Nothing important." Canada said. "I'm fine," Russia could see just how bad the boy was limping. "They just didn't wanna be responsible for a lawsuit."

"Matvey." Russia glared at him a bit. "Is your foot alright?"

"Y-yeah. I said I'm fine." he lied. "I'll be fine." Russia stopped him as he almost fell from putting weight on a foot he couldn't really stand on. He grabbed him and moved him over a bit to the bench as they attempted to walk outside once again.

"You stay here. I'm going to call a taxi." Russia put the bags next to the boy and walked away to get a ride, Kumajirou debating to follow him but then jumped on the boy's lap. "So how bad is it?" Kumajirou looked up at him, Canada only growled and hushed him. Russia managed to get a taxi and came back to get the bags, helping the boy up with the bar and helping him to the car.

"Take your shoe and shock off when you get in the car. I'm putting the bags in the back." Russia said. Canada happily nodded but once Russia turned him away, he lost the smile and gulped as he got in. Kumajirou jumped over to the middle as Canada sat and began to take his shoe off, mumbling curse words. Russia slammed the trunk and came in on the other side, telling the driver the address to go, then immediately looked at Canada. "Sock off." Canada moaned and took his sock off, revealing the bruising around his ankle and the top of his foot; Russia sighed. "You're such a klutz…."

"H-Hey…" Canada pouted. Russia moved over a bit and grabbed onto the boy's ankle, "R-Russ?"

"Tell me if it hurts." Russia said and tried pushing his foot down, the boy hissing in pain. He tried moving it to the side, the boy again hissing. When he tried moving it up, Canada hit his hand. "I'm assuming this all hurts?" Canada glared but nodded at him. "You do realize we have to take you to a doctor right?"

"W-Why? I'll just put ice on it and it'll be fine." Canada tried to tell him, but Russia wouldn't take any of that.

"You're going to a doctor Matvey. We're dropping our things off at France's house and asking him where we can get you a doctor."

"Nooooo." Canada whined. "Oh shut it you."

OOOO

"What ze hell happened to you! ?" France yelled once he saw Russia carrying the boy inside his house.

"Your klutz son slipped at the airport and probably broke something." Russia said as he laid the boy down on the couch. "His foot and ankle is bruised really bad."

"It's not that bad!" Canada protested and crossed his arms. France quickly went to the fridge to get an ice pack as Russia carefully took the boy's shoe and sock off again, then placed a pillow under it.

"Such a klutz." Russia smiled a bit but Canada only continued to pout and glare. France came back with the ice pack and a bandage to wrap it up, which is just what he did, though Canada flinched at the cold. "I was going to take him to a doctor."

"I don't need a-"

"Oh! I can call mine and see if he can fit him in." France suggested.

"Da. That would be good." Russia agreed.

"I don't ne-"

"You do." Both Russia _and_ France said, for probably the first time, at the same time. "Such a klutz." Canada sat there with his arms crossed and his pout still.

Russia ended up helping the boy to the doctor, him barely able to make it there just from limping. Once he did, Russia just had to stand there while Canada explained everything in French, now he knew what it was like in Canada's shoes when he spoke in Russian with his sisters. The doctor moved Canada's foot up and down, left to right, all with Canada flinching in pain. Then, to Russia's surprise, he moved to checking the boy's back, Canada flinching with pain again but tried to hold it back once he saw Russia looking; he raised an eyebrow.

But it all made sense after. The doctor had given Canada crutches though, and if he was to be on his feet at all he would have to use them. He told him to take some pain medication if the pain was too much and to try to lay down for at least the next three days, which Canada wasn't very happy about. Russia helped him up and out the door until he was able to actually start using the crutches. Once he started using them, it came easily, until he slipped again and fell back, leaving Russia to catch him this time. "Canada. There's ice. Everywhere. Watch. Your. Step." Russia said and got him back to his feet. Canada nodded and watched where he stepped with the crutches, Russia following close behind. "So what did the doctor say?"

"That I should lay down for about three days before I do any major walking with these things, so that the swelling can calm down a bit."

"And what was the injury on your foot?"

"Eh?… A fracture…"

"A fracture? That's not good Matvey." Russia glared. "You really are a klutz." he sighed. "And what about your back?"

"My back?" Canada almost slipped again but managed to keep walking with them. "Nothing."

"Liar. What did he say? Hmm?" Russia looked at him but Canada wouldn't give him a answer as Kumajirou tried going ahead of them to keep up with them, Russia smiled. "I wonder what bear jerky taste like." Kumajirou shivered, stopped, and stood on his back legs.

"He said he possibly threw it out!" Kumajirou snitched. Canada looked down at him in a glare.

"So much for a loyal companion."

"Who are you?"

"Canada…."

OOO

Finally they got home, Russia helping him into the house and putting the crutches against the wall. Russia then picked him up and began to carry him up the stairs when France walked by, "Well?" He asked. Russia carried the boy up and called back,

"He's a klutz!" Russia called, France could hear the boy moan and whine at that. Russia carried him into the bed and laid him down onto it. He went back down stairs to get the crutches and bring them back up as France bought up an ice pack. Canada tried to get comfortable into the bed as Russia put the crutches to the side and then put a pillow under the boy's foot, then wrapped the icepack France had given around the top of the boy's foot and ankle. "France he needs more ice for his back too."

"I told you my back was fine."

"Why?" France questioned.

"He fell hard on it and might of even thrown it out." Russia said. France signed but nodded as he walked out the door to get more ice for the boy's back. Russia turned to Canada and helped him sit up a bit, making sure he was as comfortable as he could be. France quickly came back up with a bigger ice pack, one big enough to cover the lower part of his back. Russia sat the boy up a bit and placed the icepack behind him, then helped him lay back again.

"If zhere is anything you need, don't be afraid to ask, okay Matthieu?" France said, Canada nodded and relaxed a bit. "I'm going to go make dinner, I'll bring some up for the both of you when I'm done."

"Merci Père." Canada smiled, Russia only nodded. Russia grabbed a soft blanket out of the closet and laid it across Canada, smiling in thanks. Russia then began to take a few things out of their bags as Canada turned on the T.V., nothing else to do. Kumajirou jumped up on the bed, crawled around, and curled up in a small ball next to Canada. He pet the small bear and covered him a bit with the blanket.

"Anything you need from your bag?" Russia asked as he opened Canada's bag.

"My cell phone." Canada said. Russia tossed the boy's phone to him and closed up the bed before coming over and sitting on the side of the bed. Canada looked through his phone for any new messages or emails, sent some back, and put the phone in his sweat shirt pocket.

"Are you okay?" Russia asked. Canada smiled and nodded, then grabbed onto the Russian's hand.

"I'll be fine." Canada said. "I'll get some rest and I should be fine in a few days, I'm sure the fracture will be healed soon like my wrist did."

"D-Da." Russia looked down. Canada tightened his grip on the Russian's hand.

"Russia. It's fine." He lifted his hand up and gently kissed it, then looked up and smiled. Russia tried smiling a bit but he couldn't help but feel a little guilty and upset. _I can't stand seeing you hurt Matthew, _he looked away from the boy. _Why would you stay it's okay when you're hurt?…_

OOOOOOOOO

Thanks for reading~

More and more Canadia abuse o.o just breaking bones now XD

But hey what's up XD so now Canada's on crutches, what a klutz (I almost never use that word so sorry for taking advantage of it through out the chapter) I was kinda on crutches last weekend (My America fractured my foot last year n it never fully recovered so when I hurt it again I was back on crutches for a while) and I was stuck on the chapters, so I decided to yes, turn Canada like me XD YUP so just let it be *w*

So let's explore Paris again, this shall be fun. Next chapter will have a little something-something (or the one after that XD) one of these days in France XDDD

And I'm sorry for horrible grammar errors, I've gotten a lot better since a year ago. :D but spelling is literally my worst part of learning Language Arts, so just bare with me Q.Q

Good translator:

Translations: (French)

"C'est bon, c'est bon. Je peux prendre soin d'elle.": "It's okay, it's okay. I can take care of it. "

"Je vais aller voir un médecin quand je partirai. C'est très bien.": "I'll go see a doctor when I leave. It's very good. "

Avez-vous un avocat?: Do you have a lawyer?

Non je ne suis pas et je n'ai pas besoin: No I'm not and I do not need one

Je vais bien, si je viens de rentrer à la maison oui: I'll be fine if I just go home yes?

Merci Père: Thank you father


	12. Chapter 12: Suspion

Chapter 12: Suspicion

Canada slowly attempted to turn over until he realized just how bad of an idea that was. The sun had just began to shine in through the blinds, scattered around the room. He tried to sleep flat on his back incase it really was thrown out, but he didn't feel any pain, at least until now. He slowly tried to move onto his side, but pain suddenly struck up his spine. He stopped half way in his sleep, whimpered, and woke up with the pain. Russia could hear the small whimpers and he himself woke up, opening his eyes slowly to the boy. "Are you alright?" He asked.

Canada frowned. "Um," he tried moving a bit but the pain struck up his back again. "I feel it now." Like Russia had told him, he would feel it in the morning. Canada only ignored it though. Russia sat up a bit and looked at him. "You were right." he mumbled.

"Would you like ice?" He questioned, Canada nodded a bit. Russia yawned a bit but got up out of the bed, leaving the boy to lay there without movement, and went down to get some ice. Kumajirou crawled his way up over the sheets and next to his owner.

"Does it hurt?" Kumajirou tilted his head, Canada nodded. "That sounds like a you problem." Canada glared. Russia returned yawning a bit and sat on the edge of the bed, placing the cold ice to the boy's back. Canada shivered a bit. He tried turning the boy back onto his back with the ice on it now, knowing that would help just a bit, and sat him up against the pillows a bit.

"Try not to move too much." Russia directed and stood up. "I'll bring you up breakfast, da?"

"I'm not really hungry." Canada said.

"I am!" Kumajirou stood on his back legs. "Food. Hungary. Feed me!" Canada looked toward Russia, who only sighed.

"Da. I'll do it." Russia picked the little bear up, Kumajirou squirming around with the touch off the man who threatened to turn him jerky everyday. He continued to squirm in the Russian's grip as Russia attempted to carry him down the stairs to the kitchen. Finally, the bear had stop squirming, so Russia dropped him onto the floor. He squirmed around on the floor until he managed to get back onto his feet.

"Animal abuse!" Kumajirou growled, Russia only smiled at him and laughed a bit.

"Kol kol~ like I care." he laughed before going into the fridge and getting the bear's small package of fish. "Now eat." he threw it onto the floor, still in the pack.

"I can't open it. I don't have thumbs."

"That's not my problem." Russia smiled and went back into the fridge to make his own and Canada's breakfasts. Kumajirou stared at the package for a minute, getting into a hunting position, then pounced onto the package and tried ripping it apart with his teeth; he couldn't seem to bite through the plastic. He tried pulling it apart with his teeth but nothing worked, until someone picked up the package and physically opened it for him, then gave it back for the bear to eat. Russia turned a bit to see France in his puffy pink pajamas. "What… in the hell are you wearing?"

"Well I normally don't wear clothes when I sleep." France yawned. "So I had to find some old pajamas when you two came, Canada yelled at me last time."

"Most people would if their father walked around butt naked." Russia glared. He took out some bowls and then turned to the stove. "I'm using your kitchen."

"Oui~ Sure thing~ as long as I get food." He smiled. Russia turned to him with a glare.

"Fine. But if you complain, I will beat your head into the wall." Russia turned the stove on and began to crack eggs.

"O-Oui fine." France nervously took a seat at the table. "I didn't know you cooked though."

"Matvey has been teaching me a few things." he lifted up the cracked egg. "I hate cracking these stupid eggs though." he threw it into the trash can and began stirring it in the pan.

"Well on the bright side," France picked up Kumajirou and put him on his lap, "You're experiencing a new culture~"

"I like mine better."

"Your food is weird though…" France pouted, Russia struck a glare at him. "I-I mean… Russian food is so good!" Russia turned back to his cooking, France sighed in relief. "Well you're very calm."

"What do you mean by that?" Russia glanced at him but turned back.

"I'm pretty sure I would have a pole through my eye if you reacted normally." France nervously said. "You're not a total psychopath hooray~" Russia picked up a knife and slammed the end into the cutting board. "You're a psycho! You're a psycho!" France cried, Russia only smiled.

"Kol kol~"

After the small issues, Russia brought breakfast up to the boy laying in bed, Kumajirou following him. Canada looked over at the two as Russia placed the plate of food on the nightstand. "Thank you Russia."

"Da. You're welcome."

"Did feeding Kumariu go okay?" Canada took a small bite. Russia and Kumajirou only looked at each other, both glaring at each other.

"Da…. It was…Fine…" Russia glared at the bear still, mouthing "jerky" at him. Kumajirou gulped a bit and jumped back onto the bed, curling up to Canada. Canada cuddled the little bear and looked at Russia, he quickly snapped out of his glare and smiled at the boy; Canada caught on.

"What did you do to him?"

"Nothing!" Russia quickly turned away into the bathroom to shower. Canada sat there with a stupid look, then looked at t he bear.

"What did he do?" Canada looked at him. Kumajirou could see the Russian peeking out of the bathroom with dark aura around him; he gulped.

"Nothing!" Kumajirou quickly snuggled into Canada's side.

OOO

Another day passed before Canada could actually sit up in his bed without feeling any pain in his back. Russia tried to behave himself, but Kumajirou couldn't stay out of trouble when Russia had to feed or watch him; the bear running, biting, clawing, climbing, and hiding every time Russia attempted to feed him. By the time Canada could actually get out of bed and stand, Russia was done. He walked into the room holding the bear upside-down by his leg as Canada got settled on his crutches. "Russia… Put him down…" Canada only glared.

"If you say s-"

"And I mean by _gently _putting him down!" Canada yelled as he saw Russia about to let go. Russia pouted and bent down, placing the bear on the ground instead of dropping him. "Good."

"You're really gonna try walking with those things?"

"Yes. Yes I am." Canada tired taking a step. "There's not so bad."

"Just don't step with your bad foot."

"No duh." Canada tried taking another few steps. "Not too bad." He smiled and tried going for the door.

"I still can't believe you fractured your ankle…" Russia sighed. "Figures though." Canada stopped.

"Whatda mean by that?" He pouted.

"Well, America falls on his face and broke his foot. You fall on your back and break your ankle." Russia said. "Two apples, same tree."

"That's rude." Canada continued to pout.

"Rude but true." Russia titled his head a bit. "Do you need help getting down the stairs?"

"I was thinking of crawling or riding down the rail." Canada said sarcastically.

"So that's a no?"

"I was being sarcastic." Canada sighed.

"Oh…" Russia watched the boy walk out with the crutches under his arms, attempting to get to the stairs with Russia following close behind and the boy falling into the walls a bit. When he actually got to the stairs, Russia couldn't even let the boy _try_ to go down them, so he picked him up and carried him down himself. He let the boy get settled onto his crutches again and watched him walk into the kitchen, Russia following behind. They walked in on France's phone call, but once he realized they were there, he quickly hung up.

"Oh b-bon jour!" France laughed nervously, the two only stared.

"Who was that?" Canada asked. France quickly put his cell phone into his pocket.

"What? Nothing, no one," He quickly got away from the question. "Oh! You're walking again, oui?" Canada and Russia only looked at each other in suspicion.

"Oui papa." Canada leaned back a bit against the wall.

"I, um, I'll be going out for a bit!~" France grabbed his coat off the seat and began to put it on. "You two have the house to youselves if you want to do anything dirty, my toys are in the basement." Canada and Russia both blushed and stood there with confused looks and their mouths hanging open. "Au revoir!" France quickly got out of the kitchen and out of the house before the two could say another word.

"What… just… happened…?" Canada questioned.

"France was being France?" Russia questioned as well. "That was very suspicious though."

"Yeah…" Canada smirked. "Lets follow him!"

"Nyet Matvey, you shouldn't get involved."

"He gets involved with me all the time and follows me though."

"I doubt he follows you Matvey."

"Remember how me and you went to that sushi place in Tokyo instead of that dinner with Japan?"

"Da I remember."

"France followed us the entire time."

"S-Seriously?" Russia questioned.

"Yup. He sat at the table across from us dressed as one of those Vocaloid characters." Canada sighed.

"Are you doing the joking?"

"Nope. I'm serious. He did."

"That's disturbing…" Russia said. "Um, change the subject."

Canada nodded and looked around a bit. "We got the house to ourselves."

"I'm pretty sure if I get those toys, you'll only end up more hurt."

"Not what I meant!" Canada blushed and squealed. "Let's just go and do something, like, um, I don't wanna be here if France isn't here."

"So you want to go out? On the crutches?"

"Well yeah. I gotta get used to them and I'm tired of being stuck in this house." Canada stretched out a bit. "I'm not gonna ruin our little break either, let's go out~" He smiled. Russia looked at him and sighed, but nodded. "Woo!~ Let's go then!"

"I want food though…" Kumajirou whimpered, the two looked at him.

"Jerky…" Russia glared.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Thanks for reading~

I'm gonna talk bout the chapter a bit like always, merp. Clearly Canada is still hurt and on crutches like the klutz he is, and (kinda important later on) Russia and Kumajirou aren't getting along very well ^^' that kinda becomes something later. Also, France is actually playing something in this fan fic O_O (I never really use France other than a joke or a bother so I'm actually being nice to him o.o) the next chapter their gonna do stuff, merp. It's close to the holidays so sorry if it's taking so long to update. ^^'

Now then, I just wanna say to please pray/show respect to those who died Friday morning during the Connecticut shootings, more than 25 people were killed, 20 of them being children. I'm well aware that people, including innocent children, die everyday across the world, but as a fellow American I just wanna show some kind of support for the families. Please pray for those lost (Don't review badly about this comment, I'm just trying to show some respect, those who DO review commenting badly about this event will be removed and blocked) thank you….


	13. Chapter 13: Change

Chapter 13: Change

Canada got the use of his crutches fairly quickly, he could easily walk around with them, only difference was Russia had to hold into Kumajirou as they walked. Canada made sure to look for any for any ice this time, sometimes putting the end of the crutch on a patch of ice but realized it and got away easily instead of slipping; the mistake would not be repeated. He never really thought Paris as "beautiful", Russia always mocked it and the rest of the country just as France would do to him. But for once, he didn't mock. The grass was covered with a light blanket of snow but the streets and side walks were mostly clear except for the patches of ice. Snow slowly fell off tree branches as they walked by. The air was cool, not freezing, simply cool, which Russia seemed to like the best. The city had a warm feeling to it though, probably because it was close to Christmas.

It was nice, the both of them wanted to get out of the house and this seemed to work out well. Canada kept up his pace as he walked along with the Russian close to him. They were careful walking on the ice, Russia helping the boy when he need it. Russia wasn't very sure on where they were going though, Canada seemed to have some idea on what to do but he hadn't said anything to Canada; He simply followed closely. When they came to the sidewalk's end, Canada stopped and leaned against the wall of a bakery, out of breath and already tired. Russia came up next to him and looked over at him. "Tired already Matvey?" He questioned, Canada only gave him a glance. Russia looked around a little bit more and noticed something. "Matvey. It's almost noon. We could get some lunch if you want."

Canada thought about it for a moment then got a great big smile across his face. "Yeah! I know this really good café if you're willing to take a walk." Canada said.

"You mean if _you're_ willing to take the walk da?" Russia smiled a bit. Canada nodded and got settled onto his crutches again. Russia watched at first as Canada began to stumble but then got used to it once again and walked pretty easily, waiting for the light to go then crossing with the Russian close behind. He continued following until something, a big something, caught his eye. Canada looked back when he realized the Russian was no longer behind him and came back.

"You're interested in _that_?" Canada questioned. He looked up at the tall monument with the Russian.

"Not really, it just distracted me." Russia said and looked away back to the boy. "It's just a monument."

"It's the Eiffel Tower, not just a monument you know." Canada said. Russia only shrugged and began to walk away, the opposite way Canada was going though. Canada stood there and looked at the Russian as he walked away, only for him to realize he was going the wrong way and quickly came back and past the Canadian. Canada giggled a bit and tried to keep up with the fast walking Russian. "Why were you interested?"

"I wasn't."

"You stopped and looked, you usually don't do that." Canada said. "So-"

"Where's the café?" Russia turned the subject around, he didn't really have a reason why he stopped anyway. Canada caught up as Russia stopped to give him a chance then followed behind once Canada passed him again. He followed him across the street, Canada almost slipping against as he got back onto the sidewalk, then wondered down until Canada stopped in front of a small café. Russia looked at the little café, it certainly looked cozy and warm, and crowded; he glared a bit, oh how he hated crowds.

"Calm down Russia, it's not too bad."

"I still hate crowds…" he sighed.

"It clears out fast, trust me." Canada smiled a bit. Russia looked at him, it wasn't long before he smiled back. He opened the door and held it as Canada made his way inside then sat at a table before a French couple could, they got a little angry but that only made Russia and Canada laugh a bit.

Canada leaned his crutches against the wall and got comfortable in his seat as Russia remained standing for a moment. "What do you want to eat? I'll go order."

"I can-"

"Don't even, you can barely walk and you look tired already. Just stay put." Russia interrupted. "What do you want?"

"Russia there's one problem with that though."

"What Matvey?"

"You can't speak French…" Canada giggled a bit. Russia sighed, that _was _true.

"J-Just tell me what you want." He chuckled a bit. Canada thought for a moment.

"A lot of food." Canada said. "Brioches, Croissants, some Macarons, Éclairs are delicious, and a turkey sandwich." Russia raised an eyebrow. "If they have any Mille Feuilles we should get them later."

"Anything else you little piggy?" Russia said. Canada had to think about it then shook his head. "Are you sure?" he nodded. "Are we splitting this?"

"Hell no get your own stuff." Canada protested.

"You've got to be kidding me…" Russia sighed. "You're sharing with me Matvey." He said and walked away onto the line as Canada sat there with his little bear on his lap, Russia only wondered how much that boy could eat. He sat there though, looking over at the Russian every couple seconds just to make sure he was okay. He looked at the little bear sitting there in hunger and shaking from the outside cold. Canada hugged onto the little bear and cuddled him, hoping to share some body heat with the bear. He looked back over at the Russian trying to order and saw just how bad at talking Russia really was, he could see him slowly getting irritated and annoyed, even though _he_ was the one who was out of place here.

He sighed a bit then looked away back to the little bear. "I dunno what his problem is." he said. Kumajirou simply looked back up at his owner.

"He's an idiot." Kumajirou said. Canada sat there with a stupid face.

"That's not nice!" he pulled the bear's cheek a bit and he only growled a bit back. Russia came back carrying a small wooden tray with their food on it. He placed it on the table and sat across from the boy and his bear, placing down their drinks as well. He passed a few napkins over to the boy and his small soda. Canada took a straw and quickly began drinking it. Russia passed over some of the food to him, a turkey and cheese sandwich like he had gotten, some of croissants, a few of the colored Macarons, and small fruit salad, their meal seemed all over the map eh? But Canada took one glimmer of the food and immediately began eating, giving some of the turkey to Kumajirou and ate the rest of the sandwich, as did Russia.

Russia was a bit surprised how well the food actually tasted, even just the sandwich tasted pretty good. They ate with a bit of silence, looking at each others and starting very small conversations, but the food was too good for either of them to tear away from; they both even chuckled about it. Russia become stuffed fast though, but he did eat more than he expected. He stretched out a bit and laid back into the seat as Canada continued to eat a little more. "You're not even done yet?" Russia questioned. Canada shook his head as he bit into a fresh and delicious Éclair. "Damn Matvey. How are you not fat?" Canada giggled a bit. "No no, I mean it, I'm seriously confused on this." Canada giggled more.

"I have a big stomach eh?" Canada smiled cheerfully. "And it doesn't help that have eating contests with Al either." He took another Éclair. "You're done?"

"I'm stuffed." Russia said. "But that was very good." Canada nodded and continued eating the rest of his Éclair. "Holy Vodka, are you done yet?" Canada looked at him, took his last bite, and nodded happily. "Are you sure? You don't want any cake or anything?"

"Can I actually get cake! ?" Canada perked up, Russia slammed his palm to his forehead. "… I'm gonna take that as a no…" Russia shook his head at the boy.

"Oh Matvey…"

Canada made sure to be careful on his crutches as the two walked around, checking out some of the sights of Paris; more and more Russia seemed to see how beautiful Paris really was. He looked over at Canada as they walked, remembering all of their "first date" and everything that had happened after, all in this city. He began recognizing places, the restaurant they went too, though the outside was closed now for winter, but it was still their first date, where they talked, how nervous and anxious Russia had felt for one of the first times in his entire life. Their walk continued down the street as Russia noticed the hotel, _oh god_, that memory.

He pulled his scarf up a bit as they walked, finally settled down at a bench. Canada was tired so he quickly sat down as Russia put the bear on his lap and sat with him. He put his arms up on the back of the bench, putting one behind the boy as he sat back and relaxed. Russia looked over at him though as the boy blew hot air into his hands then rubbed them together. "Are you cold Matvey?" Canada nodded a bit. Russia looked around until he saw a small coffee shop. "Want some coffee or hot chocolate?" Canada looked in the same direction and gave a big nod.

"Hot coco~" Canada smiled. Russia stood back up, noticed the boy was trying to get himself up too, and sat him back down. "I can walk over."

"Nyet, stay here. Keep your hands warm, da?" Russia smiled. Canada pouted a bit and rubbed his hands again as the Russian walked towards the coffee shop. He sighed a bit as the little bear climbed off his lap, realized the bench was too cold, then quickly climbed back on only to have Canada grab onto him and cuddle him a bit.

"Cold." Kumajirou shiver.

"I know," Canada tried his best not to shiver and stop his teeth from clanking together as he shook. "I am too."

"Who are you?"

"Canada." He pulled up his jacket more, now he wished he wore that scarf he brought with him. He looked around a bit, he couldn't even remember the last time he was out around this area, he thought it was when France took him out after New Years several years ago, but the memory was blurry. He could notice a few of the stores, some France himself was even banned from when he tried goofing off, apparently pretending to make out with the plastic models was against store rules. Unbelievable eh? Canada laughed whenever he thought of it, he was laughing right now; Kumajirou looked up at him in confusion.

Russia came out of the small shop, only holding the drinks with one hand, one cup on top of the other. He closed the glass door behind him when he noticed something in the reflection. He closed the door, turned his head a bit, and looked. The suspicion around France had struck curiosity between Russia and Canada, now that he had more. He could notice that bright blonde long hair anywhere, though the long brown next to it, he couldn't recognize at all. He looked over a little more until the French man looked like he was going to turn, Russia quickly pulled his scarf up and walked away back to Canada before France could notice he was there. Russia handed the boy his cup, he immediately began drinking it even though it burned his tongue, Russia raised an eyebrow then sat with him. "Hey, Matvey," Russia started, Canada looked up a bit, still focused on his hot chocolate first. "I saw France with some girl." Canada stopped.

"Where! ?" Canada almost jumped out of his seat before Russia quickly held him back, but the boy kept going. "Where! ? Where is he! ? Who's the girl! ?"

"M-Matvey calm yourself!" Russia held him down. "I don't know who the girl was, I didn't see her face."

"Why not! ?"

"Cause they were turned around?"

"Let's follow them! Come on!" Canada attempted to get up again but Russia held him down with his one hand.

"Nyet, Matvey, knock it off." Russia pushed him back as gently as he could but with force to the seat again. "We're not following him, just leave him alone." Canada pouted angrily. "Knock it off." Canada continued pouting. "Drink your hot milk."

"Coco."

"It's still made with milk." Russia shrugged. He took a small sip of his hot coffee as Canada finally gave up and drank his coco. He continued to pout though as he drank it. "Oh stop it." He looked at the boy. Russia smiled under his scarf for a moment then moved his hand onto the boy's leg, Canada paused and looked at his hand. Russia slowly moved it up the boy's leg, making Canada blush a bit and giggle.

"Stop that." He giggled. Russia smiled a bit.

"You have the brightest smile." he said, Canada only smiled more. "You're shaking a lot though huh?"

"I'm freezing."

OOO

"You know what I noticed?" Canada asked as they slowly walked back to France's house, he was exhausted by now. They took some time and warmed up by going into multiple places around town, some stores, even some museums. "About you." Russia looked over at him.

"About me? What about me?" Russia questioned.

"You're…" he couldn't find the right words. "…_shy_."

Russia laughed. "Shy? You're calling me _shy_, of all words?"

"Well anti-social." He still couldn't find the right words.

"I am not!"

"A bit, but um, I dunno the word for it, ummm," Canada tried thinking more. "You're unsocial, withdrawn, unfriendly, belligerent?"

"Belligerent? Really?" Russia raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. Really." Canada said. "You are a bit hostile, you barely hold a conversation-"

"I'm having a conversation right now!"

"Yeah, with me, cause you always talk with me." Canada said. "But when it comes to America or France or Germany or anyone, you don't like them and you ignore most of their part of the conversation and you even threaten to pound their faces into the wall or something, I heard your conversation with France this morning."

"Was I really that loud?…"

"Vents." Canada said. Russia sighed. "Come on, we'll continue our talk once we get inside." Canada could see France's house coming up. Russia glared a bit, even a slight pout, but followed close as they got to the house, Russia helping the boy inside. He took off his heavy coat as Canada placed down Kumajirou on the stairs and took off his own jacket, trying to stay balanced on his one foot though. Kumajirou climbed up the stairs a bit as Canada went to take a seat of them, then began taking his shoes off but being extra careful while taking it off his bad foot. Russia noticed the boy was settled in, now, to change the conversation.

"You know what we should do tomorrow, while we still have time?" he didn't look at the boy so he wouldn't get the idea to change the talk. "We should go see that play we passed today." He smiled though. "We have another two days."

"Belligerent."

"Damn…" Russia sighed, knowing it didn't work and turned around. "I'm not anti-social or shy or _belligerent_."

"You are, you can't hold a conversation with anyone." Canada made his way into the living room on his crutches, then threw the two against the wall as he finally had a chance to relax and lay against the couch. "I know you have your reasons for being the way you are, I understand." Russia looked away a bit. "I understand it Ivan." He looked at the boy.

"You never say my name." Russia noticed. "Why did y-"

"Because." Canada interrupted, but didn't bother to explain anymore. "But come on, you need to hold a conversation. Who do you actually talk to? Your boss? Me? Your sisters- or should I say _sister_ because you avoid Belarus?"

"Da. I talk to my boss, I don't like any of my bosses though, not one back then or now. I like talking to you, Matvey, because you actually do understand me." Russia looked away a bit. "I talk to Ukraine, not as much. I don't hold conversations with Belarus because she cuts to me marrying her. I do talk to Lithuania, on a good day."

"Anyone else? America? France? England? China? Japan?" Canada questioned. "What about everyone else? _Humans _too, not just nations." Russia frowned a bit.

"They are all useless." Russia stated. "My people, they hate me, so what's the point? I don't like the other nations, their obnoxious, plus our histories aren't very good. You weren't even born and I was already fighting them."

Canada nodded a bit. "Yeah…" He looked back at the Russian. "Russia, things change, you have to try to change with them."

"I'm not going too." Russia said stubbornly. Canada sighed. "I won't change for anyone, I'm done with that." Canada looked at him. "I'm me, not America, not Britain, nor France or China. I'm Russia. I'm Ivan." he looked at him. "My past is me, I'm me, that won't ever change, understand that?" Canada nodded a bit. "Do you really?" He nodded again.

"Ivan, yes I do," he said and even smiled a bit. "You're you, I'm me, you're you-"

"And we're us." Russia bent down a bit and kissed the boy's forehead. "Don't change. Understand, but don't change."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HAHAH I updated! XD sorry it took so long, I was on winter break and I decided to be a normal person and be social with actual people, not typing on my computer… that plus procrastination is VERY easy with me (and by that I mean I've been watching doctor who and Sherlock lately XD)

So, little fluffy, it's gonna be fluffy for a bit, just cause I like fluffy things and I kinda owe the two (_Spoil_) for what's gonna be happening later ^^'

But for now, yes, fluffy. And I'm even involving France :O which I almost never do cause I don't like France that much . but you'll see next chapter who the girl is (another shipment forced upon in this ff) shhh just let it be, don't question me / ENJOY oh and happy some-what-belated New year! :D


	14. Chapter 14: Double Date?

Chapter 14: Double Date?

Russia tossed and turned, struggling so hard to stay awake or even wake up when his nightmares hit his core. He actually jumped and gasped, quickly sitting up in his bed and breathed heavily. He panted and covered his eyes with his hands, waiting for his breath to stabilize and for his body to stop _shaking_.

Once again, those dreaded nightmares began.

He looked over at the sleeping boy next to him, cuddled up in his blankets and in a deep sleep. Russia pulled the blanket over the boy's cold shoulder, somehow just looking at Canada calmed him a bit. He laid back down, rubbing his eyes, trying to get the images from his nightmare out of his mind. He took a deep breath and sighed, no use in staying up all night about this. He put his hands away from his face completely and pulled the blankets back over him and tried falling back asleep, though when he did he regretted it…

He opened his eyes only to be surrounded by falling snow, it was just like home; he didn't like it. He frowned and looked around, only hearing his own foot steps as he turned. He could hear voices echoing in the distance, though couldn't make any of them out. He turned more, taking deep breathes that he saw through the air, and called out, "Who's there?" he tried looking into the distant snow. "Kto vy?" He could only hope it wasn't general winter. He frowned and looked more, nothing at all could be seen. The entire place was just blank white, covered in snow, with some broken trees sticking out of the snow and the grey sky only getting darker. Russia gulped.

_The voices_, damn it, he knew those voices. He covered his ears as they began to get louder, he could only hope he couldn't hear them. They began to get louder faster and faster, the blank white snow began to turn darker, then began to slowly fade to red. Russia began shaking and bent down, covering his ears and closing his eyes, twitching and shaking. No matter how hard he pushes his hands in to cover his ears, the voices seaked in. The soft voices of children, the pleading voices of women, the angry voices of men. And when he heard a gun shot, he seemed to duck and fall quickly into the snow. He wouldn't open his eyes, he had let go of his ears but still wouldn't open his eyes as the voices turned into cries and painful screams. His shaky hands came up to his face and covered his eyes. _Don't look_, he kept telling himself, _don't look_. He wouldn't dare.

The cries seemed to only get louder, the screams were drenched in more pain, small words began echoing. _Evil, hell, help, war, blood, execution, murder, death, blood, winter, communist, blood, heartless, torture, blood, pain, blood, tragedy, blood, corruption, blood, cold, blood… blood blood blood…. _He couldn't help it anymore, he uncovered his eyes, only to be surrounded in the bloody snow, himself covered in it. _Blood blood blood…. _

He couldn't help but scream….

He jumped awake and tried his best to hold in his scream in, shaking and shivering in complete terror. He reached over to Canada and shook him, he needed _someone_ to calm him. "M-Matvey," he shook him more. "Matvey! Please wake up!" He shook him more but nothing seemed to wake him up. Russia paused then grabbed the boy's shoulder and pulled him over, now he couldn't help but scream. The _blood_, he was covered in blood, he was dead… Nyet… nyet nyet nyet. Russia shook his head and backed away, the couldn't even stomach the possibility that Canada was dead, he couldn't. He covered his eyes and tried not to look again, he could barely breath now…

He opened his eyes as he laid in the bed. He didn't panic, he didn't jump or shiver, he simply laid there after the horrible nightmare. He couldn't tell just how hard this nightmare had hit him, it was usually bad but dreaming about Canada's death lately… kept pushing him over the edge of his sanity. He closed his eyes again, took a deep breath, and came back into reality. He slowly sat up in the bed and rubbed his temples, this was _too_ much for one night. He looked over to Canada once again, a bit afraid to even look, but only found him sleeping. He was fine_, alive_, completely fine. Russia sighed in relief and laid back down but grabbed onto the boy's shirt. Canada moved a bit but stayed asleep, Russia's grip only got tighter though. _The thought of losing you is the worst thing I could think about…. _

OOO

Canada yawned a bit as he woke up, turning onto his back and stretching his arms and legs out. He turned over to look toward Russia only to pause and blink. For once, he was awake before the Russian. Russia was usually, _always_, awake before he was. He was a bit confused now. He slowly sat up, trying not to disturb the Russian, and carefully got out of bed. Russia only moved his head a bit but continued to stay asleep. Canada picked up the little bear that slept at the edge of the bed and slipped out of the room without making a sound to disturb Russia.

He managed to walk without the crutches, though it hurt and he had to drag along his bad foot and limp. He sat on the top of the stairs and slid down them that way. He let Kumajirou walk the rest of the way to the kitchen as Canada limped behind him, carefully making his way in and sitting in the first chair he could find. He looked up only to find France in his puffy pink pajama's again, he only raised an eyebrows. "Don't question me." France pointed his specula at him.

"Père," Canada ignored the pajama's, "I woke up before Russia." This felt so much like some accomplishment.

"So?" France turned back to his cooking, then grabbed a piece of sausage he was cooking and threw it for the little bear on the floor who was begging for food.

"I'm never up before Russia, unless he's sick." Canada said. "It feels so weird…" He sat back a bit. "Can I have some breakfast?"

"Of course Mon petit chéri~" France continued cooking. "So are you doing anything? Or are you going to be a good boy and rest?"

"It's just a limp now."

"I saw you Canada, you can't walk on that foot yet."

"Hmph." Canada pouted a bit. "But actually, Russia wanted to go see a play today."

"One of _my_ plays~? Oh~ Wonderful~"

"Yeah. I didn't know he liked plays though."

"Oh Oui, he's very into the arts." France almost finished his cooking and placed the cooked food onto the plates with the muffins and croissants on it already. Canada couldn't help but try to look over. "Especially ze Ballet."

"Yeah I know he likes ballet." Canada said. France came over and placed food in front of the boy since he didn't want to see him _try_ to walk over. Canada smiled a bit and began eating immediately as France grabbed his own food and sat across from him. "Russian ballet is pretty amazing though," Canada giggled a bit. "I'm a bit jealous." France smiled a bit.

"Speaking of Russia, how are you two?" France questioned as he ate. Canada paused and titled his head a bit. "Like your so-called relationship?"

"So-called?…" Canada's voice dropped a bit but when France looked at him he raised it. "It's good, it's fine."

"Are you sure?" France questioned. Just as their talk went along, Russia came down the stairs yawning and headed toward the kitchen.

"Why are you questioning me and Russia?" Canada became defensive. Russia stopped and stood aside the kitchen entrance, listening in on the conversation.

"Because I want to make sure you're not getting involved with the wrong person again."

"Shut up Père." Canada sighed, he didn't want to hear this again. Every time he met up with someone like France or America, they always had to question Russia. _Has he hurt you? Are you sure about this? don't get involved if you know it's bad. _"It's fine." Canada tried going back to eating.

"He hasn't hurt you right?" France said. Canada paused again, the sudden vision of Russia's violent eyes appeared in his mind. He rubbed his temples a bit and lied. "Non." He said without any twitches or movements that people usually noticed when he lied. France simply sighed as Canada once again tried eating.

"I'm sorry Matthieu," France continued. "I just don't want to see this end up like Prus-"

"Shut up." Canada shot his eyes up at France. Russia raised an eyebrow, he wasn't even in the room and he could tell it was tense. He waited a minute until he finally peeked and came in. Canada let the tense mood and quickly smiled at the Russian. "Hey good morning."

"Da. Good morning." He yawned a bit.

"Food is on the counter." France didn't bother to look at Russia and continued eating. Russia rolled his eyes a bit, he at least knew why France wouldn't look at him. He took a dish of the food and sat down next to Canada.

"You slept late. You okay?" Canada questioned. Russia nodded.

"Da. I couldn't fall asleep last night and it was hard staying asleep when I did." Russia said.

"Aww." Canada pouted a bit. "Maybe you should lay down for the day. Its not good to push yourself if you're tired."

"Nyet, I'm a little tired but I'm fine." Russia smiled a bit. "Don't worry my sunflower." Canada giggled a bit. France stood up and went to put his finished plate in the dishwasher.

"Oh~ Russia~ I heard you want to see one of my plays~"

"Da. Some look interesting."

"You still want to go?" Canada asked.

"Da. If you can handle walking there, da."

"Really? And hey! I can handle myself." Canada protested. The other two nations only gave him looks, even Kumajirou gave him a look. "… Shut up…"

"Just don't slip again." France joked and began leaving. "I'm going to go shower and get ready~"

"Ready for what?" Canada questioned.

"Oh nothing little Canada~" France quickly tottled away. Canada and Russia looked at each other.

"You think he's going on a date with that mystery girl?" Canada asked. Russia shrugged a bit. "Let's follow him!"

"Nyet…"

OOO

Russia slouched down in his seat a bit, trying his best to pay attention to the stage but it was hard when he couldn't even understand what they were saying. He yawned a bit, it was interesting but so boring at the same time; it would probably be really good if he could understand one word. But Canada understood every wood and he often smiled at the small jokes throughout the play. Russia did like the music though, it had a sweet sound when the lights were just right, whenever it was darker with the bad scenes the music got faster, and then up-beat and happy. He enjoyed how the sounds mixed together with the scenes, it was the only thing he could really listen to since he turned a deaf ear to the French conversations.

Russia began blanking out of the play, his thoughts seemed to interrupt any attention he was giving to the play. He began to close his eyes, he couldn't focus on a single thing anymore. Not the play, not the music or voices, he started losing feeling around him, he didn't even feel the seat. He felt isolated, empty, fading… gone… these nightmares had effected him more than he thought…The actors took their bows and the curtains closed, people clapped and cheered and Russia didn't even notice until Canada gave him a shrug. "Did you fall asleep or something?…" Canada asked softly. Russia shook his head.

"Nyet, I'm fine."

"A-Are you sure? You look kinda pale…"

"The dim lights made me a bit sleepy but I'm fine." Russia stood up and helped Canada up from his seat, grabbing the boy's crutches and giving them to him. Canada got settled onto them and followed Russia out, trying to stay as close as he could in the crowd, Russia hated the crowd. But they got out easily and onto the streets. Russia rubbed his temples a bit as they walked, Canada's worry only grew about him.

"Russia…"

"I'm fine." Russia smiled a bit. Canada only nodded. Their walk was quiet, Canada tried his best not to slip on the ice after it snowed that night and froze over a bit. They came back to France's house only to an awkward greeting….

OOO

"Will you go on a date with me?" France asked. The two nations looked at the French man, each other, then back to him.

"…What?" They both questioned.

"A date! A um…. Double date?" France smiled a bit nervously.

"A double…date?…" The two questioned again.

"Oui~" France sparkled with hope. But the two only looked at each other not so amused.

"France, Matvey and I are very tired." Russia said. "I don't think it would be such a good idea. I didn't sleep and Matvey has been walking on the crutches so he's exhausted."

"Pleasssseeeee~?" France begged. The two only shook their heads. "Plllleaaaasssseeee?" They shook their heads again. "Come on! I'll pay for the dinner, Russia you can have your Vodka, Canada you can have food and wine. Come onnn~" The two looked at each other again and sighed.

"Ok fine. We'll go." Canada said. "But you gotta tell us who _your_ date is."

"You'll see when you come~!"

"No I wanna know now."

"Later~!"

"Now père…"

"Your sister."

"M-my what?"

"Oui~!" France quickly trottled away before the Canadian could say another thing. Canada stood there in utter confusion.

"Come on, let's get dressed then." Russia kissed the boy's cheek while he was still confused. "You have something nice to wear da?"

"Yeah just my dress shirt and pants for the meeting though." Canada pouted. "I'll just wash it later then."

"Da. Matvey, just please, don't flip out when you find out France's date please."

"Okay okay I won't." Canada pouted.

OOO

"OMG IT'S YOU HOLY MAPLE I WOULDN'T OF GUESSED, WHAT! ?" Canada paused in excitement and confusion again as he came across the brown haired girl France had kept secret from them.

"Hi Canada." Seychelles smiled. "W-What happened to you?…"

"What do you mean?"

"You're on crutches…"

"He fell at the airport." Russia came in.

"Oh my." Seychelles couldn't help but laugh even though she knew the boy was hurt. "I'm sorry you're hurt though. I actually almost slipped too."

"Da but you're not a klutz like he is." Russia said. Canada gave a small pout but let it go once the Russian kissed his forehead. France called the trio over after he got them a table. Canada let the lady go first and followed behind as Russia followed as well, holding Kumajirou in his arms like he had been for a while. The four came to the table and sat, Kumajirou had to sit under it though because they didn't allow any kind of pet, meaning cat, dog, hamster, polar bear? It wouldn't work out well in a fancy restaurant.

Russia was very happy when he was able to order Vodka, though he got a little angry when the waiter asked if he wanted the French or the Russian. Canada had no choice in what wine they chose, France had already gotten Canada, Seychelles, and himself his favorite wine that he wanted Seychelles to try. The bad part was that Canada wouldn't be able to tolerate too much, so he took it slow and steady with his food.

"So when did you two start dating?" Canada asked as they ate, he was happy he ordered duck, the way the French cooked it was so perfect and he had forgotten that from being away so long. France smiled.

"Well, we've been seeing each other more often for maybe… a month or two." France smiled toward Seychelles. Canada smiled a bit, it was nice to see France so happy. For the country of love, France wasn't into relationships. He seemed to have no one with him, ever. Seeing him actually like this gave Canada a little peace in his thoughts about his father, it was nice to see.

"I didn't know you two were in a relationship." Seychelles looked toward the two nations.

"Da. Apparently a lot of people don't." Russia said. "I guess it's for the best." Canada looked at him.

"Whatda mean by that?…"

"W-Well I mean, if nations are… together it might cause problems for others." Russia tried to explain. "You know what I mean? They might think their planning some alliance or attack or something." Canada somewhat nodded, he didn't really understand but went on. Russia drinked a little more, the taste of the Vodka soothed the dark thoughts he had. When he looked over, he could see the Canadian pouring himself another glass of wine. As France and Seychelles secretly talked, Russia leaned over to Canada and tapped his shoulder. "How many drinks have you had?"

Canada giggled a bit. "Just one or twooo." He smiled. "Don't worry Russie, it's a half of glass it's not so bad."

"I've seen you pour that bottle more than five times Canada." Russia looked at him. "I think it would be in your best interest if you didn't drink another glass."

"Fine. I won't drink another glass." Canada pouted a bit then switched to a smile. He gulped down almost all the wine and took a deep breath.

"Matvey!"

Canada moved the glass around a bit, letting the little bit of wine still there move like a wave in the glass. "It's not the _whole _glass." He giggled. Russia rolled his eyes a bit. France and Seychelles turned back to them after their secret talk, probably planning for something after this dinner. Canada smiled more. "So let's ask the real question shall we~"

"And what would that be?" Seychelles questioned.

"Did you two fuck yet or what?"

"Matvey!" Russia yelled at him but he only giggled and reached for the bottle of wine but Russia quickly took it away and turned toward Seychelles. "I'm sorry he gets drunk easily."

She nodded a bit as France tapped her shoulder, "You don't have to answer that at all Sey."

"I thought it was a good question…" Canada pouted a bit. "I mean, come on, sex is fun and wet and-" Russia covered the boy's mouth as he saw some other diners looking over at them. Canada continued to talk through the Russian's hand as he simply looked toward France.

"I think dinner is done da?"

"O-Oui." They all began to stand up and Russia had to let go of the boy's mouth.

"Nooo~ I want dessert~" Canada giggled and reached down for his little bear, who Russia grabbed right away and instead handed Canada the crutches, only hoping this would end well. Canada couldn't even get settled on them as he began walking out of the restaurant, though he almost fell over into the other diners. Russia helped him outside as they followed France and Seychelles and waited there for a moment.

"I'm going to walk Sey back to her hotel." France told Russia as he watched the Canadian stumble around a bit. "Don't expect me to be home anytime soon."

"D-Da." Russia looked back at the Canadian. "Stay away from the street Canada." Canada gave a thumbs up toward the Russian and almost fell over into the road before he fell back and onto a bench, he only giggled then. "I'll call a taxi for us."

"Just get home okay." Seychelles said. "It was nice seeing the both of you again though." She smiled as well as Russia did.

"Da. Same. I'm sorry about Canada though."

"It's fine," she giggled. "It was pretty funny anyway." She turned and grabbed onto France's hand and pulled him a bit. France gave one last look toward Russia before turning away with her. Russia sighed and turned back to the boy, only to see him trying to put Kumajirou on his head. Russia shook his own head before he attempted to call a taxi. Once he did, it became more difficult. "Matvey. Get into the car."

"Nooo~"

"Matvey. Get. In. the. Car."

"Na ah~"

"Matvey! Now!"

"Nooooo~"

"Matthew. Get in now."

"Make me~" Canada giggled. Russia got the devilish look in his eyes just before he picked the boy up and actually threw him face first into the car. "Owowowowwww." Russia slid in next to him as Canada moaned in pain. Russia only smiled and sat the bear on his lap. Hey, the boy asked for it.

The ride started to make Canada's stomach a little twisted but once they arrive, Prussia lifted him up over his shoulder and carried him into the house, up the stairs and plopped him on the bed hoping he would just fall right asleep. No, of course not. The boy continued to talk and chat as he laid there on the bed. Russia took the boy's shoes off, pulled him up, pulled his jacket off, and laid him back down. Canada laughed. "Hey. Hey Russia. Hehe." he laughed a little more. "Russieeee~"

"What Canada?" Russia took his shoes off, stood up and began to take his coat off.

"Let's have sex~!" He laughed more. Russia shook his head a bit and turned toward Canada. "Come on~! Let's bang bang~!"

"No Canada. You're drunk. Go to bed."

"Na ah." He smiled. "I don't want to~"

"I don't care what you want. You're going to bed." Russia threw a blanket onto the boy. "Now go to bed." Russia turned the light off so Canada couldn't see and began undressing, but Canada turned the light back on and whistled at the Russian.

"DAT ASS~!" Canada laughed more. Russia began getting a bit irritated, why did he have to be like this when he was drunk? He put new clothes on and looked toward him.

"I know one thing that will get you to sleep." Russia gained a sneaky smile.

"Oh yeah!~! What~!" Canada titled his head and giggled more. Russia sighed and turned around, this was already hard for him to do when he had to do it. Usually it would just fall out when he felt completely broken or lonely, like something was wrong. Russia thought of the blood, the nightmare of the one person he actually cared about gone. The pain came back and broke his heart, which is what he needed for now. He turned back around with his life in his hands, his beating heart bloodied in his hands. Canada was silent now. The heart pumped in the Russian's hands as he looked at Canada's pale face. Drunk or not, he would still freak out.

Canada quickly fainted.

OOOOOOOOO

Thank a you~!

Hey, long chapter? Yay! :D So I'll update again soon, blah blah, merp, Canada is gonna be so hung over XDDD

Okay so the conversation between France and Canada in the morning was a bit important (it plays a role soon.) so merp. You'll see! Russia's nightmares a bit important too *hint*

Oh and now you know the shipment of France and Seychelles (the only couple I approve with Sey cause I don't like her ._. ) but I like Franada but that's not possible right now cause Canada's busy with Russia XD and I like France and Joan but you know… she's kinda… dead. X.X


	15. Chapter 15: Alone

Chapter 15: Alone

Canada slowly turned a bit in his bed, only to figure out just how bad of an idea that was. He moaned and covered his head by pulling up the blankets, blocking out most of the light and making him feel a bit better, just a _bit. _He moaned and tried moving around again but that only send his head pounding. He tried to ignore all the sounds and stay under the blankets but started to feel hot and had to get out from under, being blinded by the small cracks of light coming through the window. He moaned again, covered his eyes with his arm, and fell asleep again.

He couldn't even remember the last time he drank that much, that much of something that strong anyway. He felt as if he had slept on a rock, his stomach felt twisted, his head pounded; it was hell for him. He slowly tried opening his eyes again to the darker room now, Russia had closed the curtains more when he saw Canada hide from them. He looked up toward the Russian standing against the wall on his phone then looked toward Canada. Canada pulled the blankets onto him more and tried closing his eyes again but even that hurt. He tried sitting up a bit but his twisted stomach only twisted more. "Are you okay?" Russia asked. Canada covered his ears with the sound of Russia's voice amplified. "Sorry." he whispered.

"I don't feel good…" Canada grabbed onto his stomach.

"You drank a lot of a heavy substance." Russia put his phone away. "Just lay down."

"Non I don't feel good."

"So lay-" Russia stopped once he saw the boy looking like he was trying to hold something down. He got Canada up and rushed him to the bathroom, which was difficult to do considering he could barely walk. He practically fell in front of the toilet and vomited. Russia stood behind him and decided to pull the boy's hair back as he vomited violently, even chocking at some points. He coughed and coughed and couldn't stop vomiting until several minutes later. Russia rubbed his back a bit as Canada panted. "Are you done?" Russia learned to keep his voice down as low as it could go. Canada sat up a bit and nodded, grabbing onto the toilet paper and wiping his mouth with it. He sat there in the most discomfort he had ever felt, he never threw up the morning after drinking- well… except the one time at America's New Years party, but whatever. Point was, he felt miserable. Russia put his arms under the boy's armpits and lifted him up that way, bringing him to his feet. He grabbed the small trash can in the corner of the room and brought it out with him as he helped Canada back to bed. "Lay down and rest, I'll get you some water da?" Canada nodded a bit and laid back into the bed. Russia covered him with the blanket and left the boy. Canada rubbed his temples a bit and closed his eyes. Russia came back within seconds, or that's what he thought. His body felt exhausted and his mind was playing so many tricks.

Russia helped him drink some of the water then laid him down in the bed. Canada tried falling asleep but the pain in his head and stomach seemed to stop any hope of it. Russia sat on the side of the bed and tried rubbing Canada's back to see if that would help at all, it made him calm down a bit, that was all. Canada gulped down anything he thought was coming back up and tried closing his eyes again, he was actually able to fall asleep now.

Russia stayed by his side as the boy slept, at least one of the little duo was asleep. Now Kumajirou, he was a bit of a problem. His owner slept in pain and discomfort but he didn't seem to care, he even attempted to wake him up by biting him. Russia picked him up and put him outside the room, closing the door and locking him out. He began walking back to the bed but the bear's claws scratching at the door made him quickly go back and get the bear again. He brought the little bear out the door and looked at him. "What do you want?"

"I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since last night and it's noon." Kumajirou growled a bit. "Feed me."

"Go get France. He's home by now."

"He left again."

Russia growled and carried the little bear down the stairs, dropping him onto the ground and going into the fridge. "You really are irritating. I don't know why Matvey keeps you as a pet." He took the small package of seal rolls and threw a few onto the ground for the starving bear to immediately attack them. Russia rolled his eyes a bit before going back up the stairs and leaving him there.

Canada woke up again during the middle of the day but he began feeling sick again and decided it would be better if he fell back to sleep but Russia stopped him. He gave the boy a few pain killers and a glass of water, hopefully to help him the next time he woke up. Canada had to force it down but it was worth it when he woke up later that evening. He looked up at the Russian on his phone again and smiled a bit. "Feeling better?" Russia asked. Canada nodded a bit and sat up, his head still hurt a bit but he felt so much better, even hungry. He moved the blankets off him and swung his legs out to the side of the bed and cracked his neck a bit. "What are you doing?"

"I'm hungry."

"I can bring you up something."

"I wanna try walking." He stood up unbalanced at first but he was able to quickly gain it. He stumbled a bit but it was easy to walk on his bad foot now, though it came with a limp. Russia reached his hand out for the boy to grab incase he needed help but he seemed to be fine without any help. Russia did open the door for him and helped him down the stairs though. He worked his way to the kitchen with Russia following behind to the sight of Kumajirou laying flat on his tummy on the floor and France drinking some coffee as dinner sizzled on the stove.

"Oh! You're walking!" France smiled. Canada took the weight off his feet and plopped himself onto the chair. France got up and checked the food as Russia stepped around the bear, almost stepping on him, and sat next to Canada. "So it's healed?"

"A slight limp but yeah I can walk on it." Canada said. "I wouldn't say completely healed… it still hurts."

"You've been sleeping all day huh?" France decided dinner was done and began getting it onto plates.

"I can't even remember the last time I had this bad of a hang over." Canada rubbed his temples. "I don't even know what happened after we got to the restaurant."

"You don't really want to know." Russia smirked. "You don't want to know how you fell asleep either."

"W-What?"

"And you're quiet the pervert when you're drunk da?" Russia looked toward France. "I can only wonder why though."

"I know you are looking at me!" France glared a bit but laughed. "But oui, it's probably my fault."

"I-I'm so concerned now…" Canada sunk in his chair. France brought dinner over for the two then grabbed his own. Russia tried eating peacefully but the little bear clawed at his legs and begged for food, Russia glared at him and pushed him off his legs. He looked over at Canada to make sure he didn't see anything and simply continued eating, ignoring the stupid bear. Canada looked over but all Russia did was smile as the little bear growled under the table. His patience was growing thin with this little bear, he irritated him all the time.

Canada was still tired though and tried to go to bed early for the night, excusing himself from dinner and limping up the stairs. Russia decided to stay downstairs and help France put some of the dishes away, cleaning them off and dropping some scraps for the little bear to chew on. It was silent between the two nations but they were used to that, they had nothing in common except for the fact they knew Canada. France always tried to make small talk but Russia became annoyed or just didn't want to talk. He finished helping and climbed up the stairs with the little bear following close behind. He came into the room only to find the boy had fallen asleep fast already, he kinda expected it but still, now he was kinda alone. He didn't want to risk waking the exhausted boy up so he went into the guest room and put his laptop on the desk, sitting down and beginning to check a few things. He yawned a bit and sat back from the laptop, closing his eyes to rest them a bit after an hour of work.

He stretched and looked around, seeing the pitch dark of the room. He yawned again but looked back at his computer, only to find a little bear sitting on his keyboard. "Get off!" He pushed the little bear off the keyboard and onto the desk, then let him sit there for a moment before deciding to knock him off the desk. The poor little bear fell on his back onto the ground and squirmed around a bit and getting up.

"That hurt!" Kumajirou growled.

"Good. I hope it did you irritating animal." Russia turned back to his laptop. "Go away." Kumajirou growled as Russia slowly began to lose all patience now. He hadn't slept in a while, his nightmares were pushing him over the edge, and this bear was just _annoying_ him; he was losing it. He stood up and stared at the bear. "Learn to behave will you?" He made a small fist and glared at the bear.

Canada yawned and slowly woke up from his sleep, he really couldn't stay asleep for long with his stomach ache. He looked around to see if Russia was there but when he saw that he wasn't, as well noticing Kumajirou wasn't there. He decided to get up and look for the little bear. He stood up and carefully got balance on his bad foot, then tried to walk out into the hallway. He noticed a small light from the guest room and thought maybe Russia knew where he was. He peeked into the room and quickly turned into shock and disgust. "RUSSIA! ! !" he screamed.

He looked as Russia finished kicking poor Kumajirou in the bear's stomach, hitting him into a wall even. Canada ran in as fast as he could with his ankle hurting and protected the bear from Russia's neck kick. Russia paused, realizing he let his temper get out of hand, and quickly backed away. Canada looked up from the little bear, gave a dirty look to Russia, and checked the bear for any injuries. Russia stood there motionlessly as Canada checked the bear as he was whimpering in pain. Canada stood up and held the bear, then quickly began walking out of the room. "Canada, I'm sorry I didn't mean to."

"Shut up Russia!" Canada snapped at him. Russia blinked in surprise and quickly tried to follow him.

"C-Canada?" Russia tried grabbing onto his shoulder but Canada turned around and swung his hand at the Russian. Russia moved back and blinked in surprise. "C-Cana-"

"Leave me alone!" Canada held onto Kumajirou close and went into his room, slamming the door behind him and locking it. Russia stood there for a moment but tried knocking on the door.

"C-Canada?… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Russia said. "I lost my temper, I'm sorry."

"Shut up Russia…" he could hear the boy's voice was broken and scratchy. Russia felt horrible now, he frowned and tried knocking on the door again. "I said shut up… go away…"

"Canada you're overreacting."

"No I'm not! You kicked him in the stomach!" Canada sat against the door and pet the little bear. "You could of seriously hurt him! He's small! He's delicate! You could of… killed him…" He held the little bear close to him.

"Now you're overreacting, calm down." Russia said. "He's just a stu-"

"A stupid bear, I know, that's what you think of him." Canada didn't let go of Kumajirou. "Maybe to you, he's a stupid bear. But he's my best friend Russia, he's always been there for me." "I doubt that." Russia said.

"It's true though…" he stuck his face into the bear's fur. "He's always been here, throughout everything, anything. He's my only friend, best friend."

"He's just a bear. You have other friends than him."

"Who! ? You! ? America! ? France! ?" Canada yelled. "Their my family and they always forget about me! Probably even you! You know nothing of me!"

"C-Canada?…" Russia gulped a bit, this turned into something he didn't expect. "C-Come on, not everyone forgets about you Matthew."

"Bullshit! Everyone forgets about me! _Everyone_!" He could hear the boy begin to cry. "Except Kuma… I may forget his name and he may forget mine but he's the closest thing I have to a friend, he's always there… when I'm all alone, he's still here." Russia sat down against the door.

"Matthew?…" He frowned. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know." he gulped a bit. "Please, open the door, I'm sorry." Canada didn't answer. "Matthew?"

"Go away…"

Russia frowned and stood back up. "I'm sorry…" he continued to frown. "I'll, um, sleep in the guest room tonight… I-I'll see you in the morning?…" Canada remained silent. Russia sighed and went back into the guest room, once again his temper had controlled him and screwed things up. Canada stayed sitting against the bedroom door though, holding his little bear in his arms and close to his body. He wiped his tears away and looked at the little bear who's eyes still showed pain. Kumajirou looked up at his owner as Canada frowned and kissed the little bear's head. He scratched behind his ear and then hugged onto him and held him close again.

_Russia could never understand any of this…. _

OOOOO

Thanks for reading!~ I don't own anything merp.

So yeah, Canada got pissed at Russia for kicking poor Kumajirou. Sorry Kuma, had to do it…. D: But anyway, see how this will work out eh?

I'm getting sick so I'm just gonna leave most of this author note short and just sleep Q.Q so Yupppers~!


	16. Chapter 16: Hatred?

Chapter 16: Hatred?

Canada cracked the guest room door open and took a peek in to check on Russia. He didn't say a word or make a sound, simply peeked in to see the Russian asleep in the bed. Russia looked like he was in a heavy sleep but there were still circles under his eyes, Canada's expression didn't change though, he didn't feel bad like he usually would of. He closed the door again and walked toward the stairs. He looked back to find Kumajirou coming out of the bedroom, though he could barely walk with the pain he was still feeling. Canada frowned and picked the little bear up, making his way down the stairs with him, though that wasn't easy still with his ankle still feeling weak and sore. He barely said a word to France as he got some seal rolls from the fridge, then sliding down against it, having the little bear sitting on his lap and began feeding Kumajirou little bites; he couldn't stomach much of the food though. France looked over from his seat but didn't ask any questions, he could simply tell that he didn't want to talk.

OOO

_Everything felt so cold, but the pain was the overwhelming problem. He looked down at his hands only to find them drenched in the crimson color he had known since the moment he existed. He could feel himself falling backwards onto the hard ground behind him, though he wasn't sure exactly what that was. He lifted his hands up though to get a better look, to see if it was actually what he believed. The blood slowly dripped down his arms then, it felt real. He thought he felt himself shake but he again couldn't be sure. _

_He could hear screaming, but not the sound of that little girl or a dying citizen, a scream he had never heard before. It sounded so painful, a scream that had only been burst out a very few times. It was agonizing, breathless, dying… And it was Matthew's scream… _

_Everything felt cold again, he could feel himself holding onto someone's hand, touching someone's cheek, wiping tears away. Soft skin as cold as the snow, the very touch made his hand shiver. He could hear echoing voices, not of his people but actually himself. He could hear the echoing words repeating: "Wake up! Wake up! Please wake up!… don't go…" they repeated over and over and over again, he couldn't get the words out of his head. "Matthew wake up!" _

Russia jumped up in his bed and gasped. He continued panting for a few seconds then wiped the sweat from his forehead away. He sat up in the bed and calmed himself, the nightmares were becoming more clearer, they were becoming unbearable. The death of his people suddenly turned to something that mattered as much as they did. He held his head in his hands for a moment before he realized he needed to just let it go and get up, so he did. He got out of his bed and to their room, knocking on the door once then trying to speak. "Matvey…" He said. He knocked again before opening the door up. "Matvey I-" he stopped himself once he saw Canada wasn't in there anymore, neither was the bear, and neither was his luggage. Russia gulped, Canada was mad. Not just a little mad where he would be over it after some rest, the mad he never got with Russia, the one where Russia couldn't tell how long it would be until Canada spoke to him again.

He sighed and walked down the stairs to the kitchen to find Canada but only frowned when he saw only France there. France looked up at the Russian and raised his coffee cup a bit. Russia nodded and moved his eyes around the room to find Canada but no, he wasn't there. "Where's Canada?" He questioned. France finished his sip of coffee then answered.

"He left for Madrid about two or three hours ago." France said. Russia raised an eyebrow, sighed then got a stupid look on his face.

"What time is it?"

"It's uh," France looked down at his phone. "Almost nine-thirty." Russia gritted his teeth and angrily sighed before quickly walking back up the stairs. "Why?"

"I'm going to miss my flight!" Russia rushed back up the stairs and began to pack his things that were still out. He quickly got out of his sleep wear and into a dress shirt and pants, then covered himself with his coat and scarf. He barely had anytime so he didn't brush his hair or his teeth, which made him feel a bit disgusting but he would take care of it at the hotel in Madrid. He didn't even shower, which made him feel even more disgusting but he would, again, take care of it later. He called a taxi as fast as he could as he finished packing his things and started going down the stairs, only to realize he forgot his phone in the guest room so he had to go back up and down once again as fast as he could as the taxi beeped.

"See you in Spain~" France called as Russia slammed the front door and took a seat, simply placing his stuff next to him and panting a little bit for air since he has rushed. He tried explaining the best he could to the driver on where he was going, though the French man only waved his arm in some kind of understanding. Russia sat back for a few minutes of relaxation, this was the first time he ever had to rush around in order to catch a damn plane. He took his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolled down his contacts to Canada's name, it was worth a shot to at least call him and try talking, then maybe the flight wouldn't be so awkward when he met him there. He tried calling but frowned when he only heard the voicemail.

"Matvey, I'm really sorry… I-I'll meet you at the airport alright?… j-just I'm sorry…"The message was the best he could come up with, he didn't know what else to say or even how to say it. Plus, he never let massages unless they were important, which was almost never. He rubbed his temples a bit and sighed, his temper had gotten out of control and this was the result. He figured though, he seemed to always mess up… everything… whether it was Canada, or his siblings, or even his country… everything was his fault…

By the name security was done, he believed he wouldn't make it to his flight. Thankfully, the lady was nice enough, and understood his English, to allow him onto the plane just before the gate closed. He wasn't the last one on, a couple behind him had to talk about their tickets before getting on like there was a problem with them. Russia didn't care, he simply got on quickly and shoved his carry-on into any over head compartment he could. He looked for his seat and gulped a bit, Canada nor Kumajirou was there. He looked around the plane, thinking he had the wrong seat but it was right. _Maybe he went to the wrong airport?… _Russia thought as he sat down and buckled up, now his thoughts began running.Maybe Canada was so mad that he traded seats or got an earlier flight? Russia sighed and closed his eyes to just let it go. "Howdy partner!" The voice sounded like America's but more high pitched and southern. Russia peeked open an eye to look at the couple who was held back at the gate. "That's our seats man~" Russia opened his other eye and glared a bit.

"No, they are not." He said. The man looked down at his ticket and back to Russia.

"Yes sir-ie they are~" The man laughed a bit. "We just got the tickets from someone who sold theirs for an earlier flight." _I knew it… _"So yuppers! That's our seats~" Russia rolled his eyes and stood up to let the two in, the woman sitting by the window and the man in the middle. Russia tried getting comfortable again but the man put his hand out to the Russian. "Hey! Nice to meet ya! I'm Johnny Jones!" _Jones! ?_ Russia twitched a bit. "From the US of A! What about you?" Russia twitched even more, _you're kidding… right?_

"Ivan. Russia." Russia pushed the man's hand away and slowly sunk into his chair with a new headache as the man continued talking. He turned to his wife and the two even began _singing _the damn star spangle banner and various country songs, randomly throwing in facts about New York to Russia as well… All before the plane even took off. He pulled down the table from the seat and quickly banged his head on it in order to stop his temper from getting any worse and bashing the two American's heads into the window. He put it back up and sunk in his chair, this would be the longest two hours in his life.

Twenty or thirty minutes into the flight, the Americans had still not shut up. Russia tried blocking out their sound with headphones he had received, he didn't even care that it was French music or radios. He simply closed his eyes and listened to it, trying his best to ignore the two Americans. He twitched though when he started thinking again…

"_Maybe to you, he's a stupid bear. But he's my best friend Russia, he's always been there for me." "I doubt that." _He had pushed it…

"_It's true though…He's always been here, throughout everything, anything. He's my only friend, best friend."_

"_He's just a bear. You have other friends than him."_

"_Who! ? You! ? America! ? France! ?" _Canada had never yelled at him like that. _"Their my family and they always forget about me! Probably even you! You know nothing of me!" _

"_C-Canada?….C-Come on, not everyone forgets about you Matthew."_

"_Bullshit! Everyone forgets about me! __**Everyone**__!" _He had made Canada even cry. _"Except Kuma… I may forget his name and he may forget mine but he's the closest thing I have to a friend, he's always there… when I'm all alone, he's still here." _

Canada's crying voice had echoed in his head, _everyone forgets about me! Everyone!… except Kuma…_How had he pushed it that far? How did that turn into such a problem? Russia opened his eyes a little bit; there was more to it, there must be more to it, right? He rubbed his temples a bit. _But what?_

The plane landed in Spain, he was relieved to finally get away from those idiotic Americans who had tried talking to him the entire time. He quickly got his carry-ons and got off that plane as fast as he could once it was allowed, he needed to get away from them in order to bring back his sanity. As he walked to get the rest of his luggage, he called Canada again for any answer but once it was voicemail, he frowned again. "Canada it's me again… I'm really sorry… obviously you're very mad… I sat next to two Americans by the way…but I'm really sorry. Call me back please so we can just talk…" he hesitantly hung up and put the phone back into his pocket.

_What if he never talks to me again?… _

The question ran through his head as he stood looking for his luggage. He got so deep into the thought though that he missed his luggage passing and had to quickly go after it.

OOO

Arriving at the hotel he was exhausted, Spain confused him so much. But he was there now, and he only hoped that Canada didn't change his room too so maybe they would talk. Just his luck though. "There's no reservations by Williams." The front desk man had said. Russia blinked, he was sure Canada put it under his name.

"What about Braginski?"

"No sir." The man said. "Would you like a room?" Russia sighed and nodded as the man put in the information for a new room. Looks like he wouldn't be talking to Canada after all. He made his way into his room though, taking out his cell phone and dialing the number again as he put his luggage on the chair next to the desk.

Again, voicemail. "Canada, can you please call me back?… I'm sorry, I'm worried, I just want to talk. Please?" he gulped a bit and hug up. He took a deep breath and sat down on the bed, he tried calling again but voicemail hit and he repeated his last message. He set the phone on the bed and laid back, covering his eyes with his hands and taking a few deep breaths. _I'm sorry Matthew… _He couldn't help but feel upset, he hadn't felt this bad since… Belarus and Ukraine left… He rolled onto his side and put a pillow on his head. He was done for the day.

OOO

Russia couldn't sleep that entire night, every time he did his nightmares would quickly take over and he couldn't take it. He drank coffee most the night, mixing it with some Vodka as well, and tried his best to stay up until morning. Now that morning was he, he wished he had slept, but it wasn't the first time he had a sleepless night so he managed to get around it. He drank his coffee again as he walked into the meeting place, though he paused when he saw Canada off to the side. He began to walk towards him but stopped once he saw he was in the middle of a conversation, with Prussia no less. He stayed at a corner and looked over, trying to get a ear of the conversation but they seemed too far. He looked though and raised an eyebrow. That look in Canada's eye, was that… hate?

Russia out of everyone knew that look. That sense of hatred you could see in a person's eyes, he knew it very well. He had seen it everyone's eyes, the others countries, his bosses, his people, himself… but never, not once, in Canada's eyes; he never expected to ever find that look in his eyes. Canada didn't "hate" anyone… right? Sure he got annoyed, but never hated, he wanted peace. Russia gulped a bit seeing that look, even someone who was pure like Canada got that look, he didn't like it.

The second he saw Canada move he quickly walked into the meeting room and joined the other countries at their seats. He sat down and sighed, only to have America run over and "ask what's wrong Commie". Russia growled a bit but looked up at America with the smile he always had on. "Your people are just as annoying as you are, you know that?" America laughed a bit. "They sound like you too! It's not funny!" America laughed even more as he walked away to his seat next to Canada, he saw Germany coming into the room. Russia looked toward Canada, hoping he would at least look back, but he kept his eyes on starting his notes. Russia frowned and opened his notebook.

The meeting went on with Russia staying very silent. He kept looking across the table toward Canada but not once did he look Russia's direction, nor did he notice Kumajirou making any challenge or fuss during the meeting like he usually did. Russia looked back to his notes again to avoid starting his thoughts up again but he couldn't help looking over. Each time he did though he only felt more upset. Canada eventually started to look like he was falling asleep until America started nudging him. Russia got a worried look but wiped it away when Belarus started looking over. _Why am I so upset over this?_ Russia didn't feel like himself, he wasn't himself, everything was getting to him… he couldn't focus on a single thing.

"The next meeting will be held in, dare to say it, D.C." Germany stated. America automatically jumped up and cheered, Canada laughed a bit at him looking like a fool but helped him die down a bit once it got out of hand.

"Finally! Bout damn time!" America crossed his arms. "Now all of you can take the long flight across the Pacific ocean!"

"Atlantic." Canada corrected him.

"Either or depending on where you are!… I think." America got a stupid look on his face as he had to think about how the world was actually laid out, but he couldn't figure it out and simply sat down. England rolled his eyes in the seat next to him. Russia rolled his eyes too, that America was the biggest idiot he knew. The meeting ended with that, the date would be soon since the talking and annoyance this meeting had wasted more than the maximum time, they barely finished any topic. They all picked up their notes and quickly left, Canada snuck out fast before Russia could catch him. Russia sighed and sat there, putting his papers away in order and slowly since there was no use in rushing now, Canada was gone. Soon, he was the last one left or so he thought. "Geez! You people can never get anything done!" Prussia walked in. "Oh, hey, Spain isn't here." He looked around a bit. "Nope not here. Oops."

"Is that why you're here?" Russia asked, figured he make some kind of conversation instead of staying in silence.

"Ja, but he's not here so bye~" Prussia turned to leave back out the door. Russia ignored him and went back to packing but a thought popped into his head.

"_I just don't want to see this end up like Prus-"_

"_Shut up." _

Canada's voice was sharp, he cut France off. That sense of hatred in his eyes when he looked at Prussia. What about Prussia? What the hell happened? "H-Hey Prussia." Russia called out without even thinking about it. Prussia swung himself around and looked for the Russian to continue talking but Russia froze with the thought of maybe it's a bad idea. "Y-You and Canada were talking before, what about?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing~ I had a few questions that's all." Prussia waved and tried walking away but Russia called again.

"Does Canada hate you?"

"_Hate_ me? I'm sure that peace-lover doesn't hate me, no one can hate awesome me! Kesesese~" Prussia laughed but Russia looked away unsatisfied with the answer. "I mean, I can see why he wouldn't like me anymore but not hate."

Russia turned back. "Why wouldn't he like you?"

"A lot of reasons, we ended pretty badly." Prussia began walking away but Russia took a step toward him in surprise.

"Wait, ended badly? You two were?…" his voice trailed off with the realization. "What happened?"

"Why do you want to know so much?"

"Just curious?"

"Curiosity killed the cat there Russia~" Prussia leaned back against the wall of the room. "If you must know, I kinda wanted someone else while I was still with Canada. I kinda ended it like that."

"Y-You… cheated on him?" Russia asked, _that had to hurt Canada like hell. _

"Ja but I was trying to end it with him for a while!" Prussia claimed. "He was getting annoying, all he wanted was to talk with me and be with me and he was just needy." Russia suddenly felt like a light bulb had went off, but at the same time he felt like he had messed up even more. "I wanted a little freedom from him. He was like a wife, and not the Finland kind of wife." Prussia bounced off the wall. "So that was that." He began to leave.

"He didn't want to be alone…" Russia blankly said.

"Huh? What?" Prussia looked back one more time but Russia blankly stared at the ground with his realization.

"_Except Kuma… I may forget his name and he may forget mine but he's the closest thing I have to a friend, he's always there… when I'm all alone, he's still here." _

It suddenly hit him, why Canada was so upset… it was much more than just that bear, it was what he meant. He didn't want to be alone, that was the feeling no one wanted and it was the feeling that haunted him forever. "I know that feeling…" He mumbled to himself. The feeling of being alone, the realization of being alone, simply _being alone _made anyone feel empty inside, made them feel numb. He knew that feeling all too well, being alone once the Baltics were gone he felt empty. Once Ukraine and Belarus were gone, his entire body felt numb. He was alone in that big empty house, he stayed there by himself with no one to talk to, no one _wanted _to talk to him. He was simply there wasting time and space, doing work in silence, sleeping in silence, eating in silence, everything in utter silence. All he would want was to hear someone talk or laugh. He wanted someone to look at him, someone to make contact with. That was why he liked these meetings, he could see everyone talk and laugh, even arguments were good. People talked to _him_, they made contact with _him_, and he loved it.

But Canada….

Canada had always looked Russia in the eyes when he talked, he never once turned away. He always listened to Russia, in return Russia often did the same. He touched him, held his hand, kissed him, hugged him, he always felt loved with Canada. He would of never thought about it until now….

_"Matvey. What about you? You surely have a dream if I do."_

_"Huh? Y-Yeah I do." Canada said. "I guess it's….To be remembered."_

The picture in his mind came into play. He could just imagine Canada so small, by himself. He could imagine France and England mocking each other, little America trying to break them up in which they eventually did, all while Canada set off to the side. He could imagine England tucking in America to get him to sleep, then Canada laying in a different bed falling asleep by himself. He thought of how America would forget about Canada right in front of him, how Cuba would mix up him for America, how England would forget he even existence, how France had even forgotten him. He was always alone… Kumajirou was always with him, but he was mentally alone… just like Russia…

"I'm an idiot…" Russia said to himself. By the time he figured it all out, Prussia had left and he was alone. Canada tried to talk to Prussia cause he didn't want to be in silence, that was the worse part of loneness. Canada wanted to be with Prussia because he couldn't take being alone. It was so much more and Canada would never admit it. The time it took for Russia to figure this out amazed him, why didn't he ever see it before? He growled a bit and rubbed his head. "God damn it…"

OOO

Russia walked into the unknown hotel, he wanted to thank America for giving him where Canada was staying, even though he had tricked him. He made his way up to the room. He looked for the door number and listened in for a moment to make sure Canada was actually in there, he heard the bear's claws across the floor. He gulped then knocked on the door, hearing Canada asking who was there made Russia feel a bit happy just to hear his voice but he froze, surely if he said it was himself Canada wouldn't answer. "R-Roomo Servico." He said with the worst attempt at a Spanish accent… and translations.

"I didn't order anything." He heard Canada call.

"Roomo servico." Russia repeated, maybe if he just kept repeating it Canada would answer.

"I said I didn't order anything, no servico!"

"Roomo servico!" Russia could hear Canada coming to the door and it swung open with the Canadian a bit angry at the door.

"Yeah. You. I knew it was you." Canada glared a bit. "Go away." Russia put his foot into the door so he couldn't close it. "Stop, I'm trying to sleep."

"Liar." Russia pouted. "Can I come in? Please?" Canada looked at him and let him in, though he felt as if he regretted it. Russia came in and closed the door behind as Canada tried heading back to his bed. "I'm really sorry Matthew."

"If you were so sorry you wouldn't of done it." Canada looked toward the little bear on the couch laying there trying to watch Spanish TV. Russia frowned a bit and tried grabbing onto Canada's hand but he pulled it away.

"I lost my temper when I shouldn't of. I haven't been sleeping, my nightmares keep taking over, and I just lose it. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Russia turned Canada around to him. "Please, I'm sorry. I can't lose you. I won't. I didn't mean to hurt him or you, I'm just so sorry…" Russia couldn't seem to stop apologizing. "Canada?…"

"Fine." Canada gulped, he was at his end.

"But Kumajirou wasn't the only problem, da?"

"W-What?"

Russia grabbed onto his hands. "Matthew, I'm sorry. I understand the thought of losing Kumajirou terrifies you. It means you would lose your best friend and then you would be alone again."

"W-What are you…"

"Matthew, you're not alone." Russia said. "Because I'm not going to leave you alone. Do you understand that?" Canada looked at him in a shocked face. His chin was trembling a bit, his pout came out, and his eyes began to tear. "I won't leave you alone." Canada looked at Russia in a sense of relief and hugged onto him, he couldn't hold it anymore and he began to cry. Russia held onto him tightly as Canada's grip got a hold of the back of his jacket. He kept crying, he wouldn't stop. Russia had got it to the source, he understood just as Canada understood him. "You won't be alone…"

OOOOO

*whew* okay so it's all good now ^^' update yay!

So just gonna make this all short cause I'm just… not in the mood :/ it's been a hard week so my updating for everything has been kinda halted. its just…. Not easy right now. I'm getting back into the updates but next week had my midterms so it's gonna be another long while til I update =.= I sorry!

I'll try updating again later again this week or weekend so *shrug* idk

And yes, it's fluffy RusCan. Leave me be, I like the fluffy :3

And I'm sorry for the past PruCan, I honestly HATE the pairing. (I'm writing a anti PruCan later to go along with this, there's so much more in my head that you don't know |D ) just…. Meh I hate it .


	17. Chapter 17: Unfortunately Ill

Chapter 17: Unfortunately Ill

_Russia awoke to a familiar feeling, a familiar sound, and a familiar image. He had stayed close to Canada that night, after he was done crying that is. Russia had held onto him and even fell asleep with him like that. He liked the feeling of holding Canada in his arms, just as Canada liked the feeling of being held. He liked the sound of Canada's gentle breathing when he slept, that was the only thing he heard in the silence. Waking up and seeing him there made him smile a bit. Once Canada woke up, his soft smile only made Russia more happy. _

_Though something felt… not right… _

OOO

"See! It feels just fine!" Canada stood firmly on his injured foot. It seemed to have healed fast, he barely felt any pain. Russia didn't seem to think it was healed though, not this fast.

"Just don't push it will you?" Russia buttoned up his coat. "And when we get to the airport, don't slip again." Russia looked back up at Canada, who didn't seem to take the advice too seriously.

"I told you I'm fine, I got this!" Canada jumped on his foot a bit. "See? It can hold up just fine."

"Don't push it…" Russia sighed.

"Calm down," Canada continued bouncing on it for another few seconds until it began to ache again, then he stopped. "It's not like I'm going to slip again." Canada went to go pick up Kumajirou, but stepping over the lose rug of the hotel room caused him to trip and fall backwards again onto the floor, back first. Russia looked at him on the ground and shook his head. "Shut up…"

OOO

"It's nice to finally be home." Russia dropped his luggage at the door and quickly went to lay down on the couch, leaving Canada to struggle in and over the luggage at the front door, almost falling over and having Kumajirou jump out of his arms. Canada got his balance for a moment, then fell over one of the bags and onto the floor; the ground was like a magnet to him. He rolled over a bit and got to his hands and knees, looking over into the living room toward Russia laying on the couch; he didn't seem to care one bit about what Canada was doing.

"Thanks for worrying." Canada stood up and dusted off his knees as Russia only continued to lay there. "Russia?" It was silent. Canada blinked and wondered over to Russia, looking over at him only to find that he was actually asleep. Canada got a stupid look on his face and poked Russia's cheek, just to be sure that he really was sleeping. He looked around and grabbed a soft folded blanket off a chair, unfolding it and laying it across Russia. He sighed and went back over to the door, dragging their things up the stairs and into their rooms. Kumajirou followed him around as he unloaded their things, throwing any dirty clothes into a basket to wash later.

"Why are we here?" Kumajirou asked.

"I told you," Canada started. "Ukraine and Belarus are giving Russia a birthday surprise." He suddenly got an upsetting feeling in his stomach when he remembered _Belarus_ would be coming… that was never good. "Their gonna be here soon I think." He looked at his phone for the time. "Maybe in an hour."

Kumajirou sat on his back legs and lifted his front paws up. "Let the hell begin."

"Oh come on! Have more faith will you!"

"Belarus will kill you."

"I know…" Canada sunk down against the wall of his room. He sighed and put his hood up, he felt pretty cold. He took another look at his phone for the time, at least an hour had passed since they arrived here. _Maybe Russia woke up by now_, he thought. He stood back up, picking up the little bear with him, and made his way down the stairs and back to Russia. He peeked in to see him still there, the blanket still on him as well. Canada went toward the kitchen to go get some food Russia kept in the fridge for Kumajirou, but once he heard Russia moving around he turned back. He looked as Russia slowly lifted himself up, yawned, and even rubbed his eyes a bit. Canada came back over to Russia and looked at him. "Geez you were really tired huh?"

"I still am…" Russia yawned.

"If you're so tired, why don't you just go up stairs and rest in your own bed? It's probably much more comfortable."

"I am in my be-oh." Russia, very confused, looked around a bit. "I'm not in my room after all…" Canada raised an eyebrow.

"You okay Russia?"

"Huh? Da. Da I'm fine." Russia tried getting up but he fell back onto the couch, then stood up again and attempted to walk over to the stairs, stumbling on the way. Canada blinked in confusion with this. He grabbed onto Russia's arm, who tried to get away, and looked at his face.

"Russia are you alright?" He grabbed onto Russia's shoulders. "You're not drunk right?"

"Me? Drunk? What? No! Nyet." Russia rubbed his eyes and tried walking forward, only to walk into Canada. "Move."

"You don't look good Russia." Canada moved his hand up to Russia's cheek. "Huh? And you feel warm!" He lifted his other hand up to his other cheek. "Why are you so warm?" Russia grabbed onto his hands and pulled them away from his face.

"Nothing. Just leave me alone."

"No Russia I think you're getting a fever."

"Nyet. I'm not." He moved Canada off to his side. "Now I have to do paperwork. When Ukraine and Belarus get here, let me know." He still didn't know about the birthday surprise. Canada watched as Russia made his way up the stairs, leaving Canada to stand there a bit confused. _Now that I think about it… he's been off all day, _Canada thought, _He fell asleep on the entire flight here and he's been stumbling. _Canada scratched his head a bit. _I hope he's okay… _He looked back to the bear and picked him up, taking him into the kitchen to feed him. He sat around a bit after, drinking some water and simply sitting in the kitchen until Ukraine came. When he heard a bang up stairs though, he got concerned and quickly headed up the stairs.

He peeked into the room, seeing Russia asleep at his desk. Canada got a little worried and stepped in more, coming in to see what had fallen. He looked over only to see his notebook on the ground, that was all. He walked over and picked it up, setting it on the table and looking over at Russia. He seemed to be out like a light, though he was sweating a bit. Canada reached his hand over and put the back of his hand to Russia's forehead, _he's burning up still. _Russia's dark eyes blinked awake quickly and he looked toward Canada, who quickly backed away. Russia sat up and back in his chair and yawned a little more, wiping the sweat form his forehead and looking at Canada. "What are you doing?" He questioned, his accent seemed to get heavier and Canada could barely understand him through his mumbling too.

"R-Russia I think you're getting sick." Canada said. "You should lay down."

"Nyet. Work to do." Russia picked up his pen again.

"No Russia, rest before it gets worse." Canada tried to reach down for Russia but he grabbed his hand instead and pulled him down. Canada gulped, thinking Russia would attempt to break his wrist again, but instead Russia stood up.

"I said no." Russia pulled him closer and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, then pulled him down and grabbed onto his waist; he was picking him up! He held Canada on his side and walked outside the room as Canada yelled a bit. He tried grabbing onto Russia's scarf but he simply slapped his hand away with his free hand. He walked down the stairs and into the main hallway, opening a closet door and throwing Canada inside. "Now shut up and go to Narnia or something." He slammed the door as Canada tried to get back out but there was no inside door knob.

"R-Russia!" Canada called but he could hear Russia already up the stairs. Canada tried getting out of the closet more but there was no way out, he found this out several minutes after all his tries. He sat down against the wall of the closet and took out his cell phone, looking for Ukraine's contact and sending a message to her. _Hey when you get here, can you please get me out of the closet of the main hallway? I'm locked in here. Merci! _

He laughed a bit when she responded: …What?

An hour passed before Ukraine and Lithuania opened the door for Canada. He simply lifted his hand for a wave, "Hey what's up." He said. The two only titled their heads in confusion. He could hear Belarus coming in, yelling "Just leave the stupid dog in there." Ukraine helped him up and out as Belarus went up to find Russia.

"W-Why were you in the closet?" Lithuania asked.

"Russia picked me up and put me in there, telling me to go to Narnia and I'm really confused myself how that even happened." Canada scratched his head a bit. "Oh, Ukraine," He turned toward her. "Speaking of Russia, I think he's starting to get sick."

"If he's putting you in a closet he probably is…" Ukraine nervously laughed about it. "I'll go check on him." Ukraine went up to check as Canada and Lithuania went into the kitchen to make dinner. Once it was called down though, Ukraine and Belarus seemed to be a bit angry. Canada looked over as Belarus stabbed one of her knives into the table, he gulped when she did.

"W-What happened?" Lithuania questioned.

"Little brother is acting a little weird…" Ukraine sat down both worried and angry at the same time. Belarus snapped and yanked her knife out of the table, pointing it toward Canada.

"I blame you!" She yelled. Canada put his arms up in a surrender and gulped as Ukraine took the knife away from her little sister. Russia walked in with a strange smile on his face and waved to them all.

"Oh food." He smiled, though Canada only watched him with more confusion. "And Lithuania!" Russia put his hand on Lithuania's head and pet it a bit. "One of my slaves came back~"

"N-No Russia it's just for the weekend." Lithuania gulped a bit. Russia let go and sit down at the table. Everyone seemed to look at him, all three of them simply staring at him as he took a few sips of water.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" Russia sunk in his chair a bit, "Whaaaat?"

"A-Are you okay?" Canada questioned.

"I said I'm fineeee." Russia sunk down in his chair more, he was acting like a _child_. The three continued to stare at him in confusion and concern, there's no way he would act like this right? Russia pointed at Canada. "You. You got out of the closet. Bad Matvey!" Russia's hand dropped. "You're not allowed in my room now. Bad boy." Canada just sat there in more confusion, he wasn't sure what was happening anymore.

OOO

"R-Russia?" Canada peeked into the Russian's room the next morning to check on him. It was his birthday today, Ukraine was going to make him breakfast but he wanted to see if he was awake first. Canada came in a little more once he saw Russia was still in bed so late. Canada came in completely and got close to the Russian's bed, looking over at him to see if he was alright. Russia panted in his sleep, his face pale and his hair even wet from sweat. Canada frowned and placed the back of his hand to his forehead just to see how hot he was; he was burning up badly.

He put a cool cloth over the Russian's forehead as he slept, though it seemed harsh for him. Canada noticed that he had even taken his scarf off, probably in the middle of the night. It wasn't folded like he usually would of done, he had simply thrown it to the end of the bed. Canada pulled down some of Russia's blanket to help him get some air, seeing the scars on his neck made him back away a bit though; he knew Russia hated when people saw them. He quickly got out of the room to find Ukraine once he was sure that Russia could be a little more comfortable. "What do you mean he's sick?" Belarus questioned once Canada had told them.

"He was acting all weird yesterday and now he had a high fever." Canada explained. "He's really warm and looked like he had a very hard time last night with it."

"I should check his temperature." Ukraine got up off the couch they had been sitting on. "I hope he's okay, he usually doesn't get sick."

"When was the last time he was this sick?" Canada asked. Ukraine scratched her head a bit and thought, as did Belarus.

"Around the 1600's." She said. "You were just a baby around that time huh?"

"H-He hasn't gotten sick since then? That can't be true."

"Nyet, it's not." Belarus came in. "That was the last time he was like this though. That time he pretty much lost his mind and continuously got worse and worse. He vomited a lot too."

"He didn't eat last night." Ukraine noted. "I'm going to go check on him." She quickly hurried up the stairs, leaving Canada to stand there with Belarus.

"I blame you." Belarus glared at Canada. "You stupid rat."

"You can't be serious…" Canada sighed. "Cause it can clearly be my fault for Russia getting sick."

"Everything bad that happens to him is automatically your fault." Belarus turned her back to him. "Useless rat."

"Matthew! Belarus!" Ukraine's calls hurried the two up the stairs and into Russia's room. They looked in on her trying to calm Russia, rubbing his back a bit as he sat up practically coughing a lung up. "I walked in and he started coughing really bad." Canada rushed over to help as Belarus stood off to the sides, thinking it would be bad if she got involved too. Russia continued to cough harshly until he just couldn't breath anymore. Ukraine continued to rub his back as he panted to get his breath back.

"Belarus can you get water for him please?" Canada asked. Belarus glared at him, but seeing Russia in pain made her listen and hurry to get some water. Canada lifted the cup up to Russia for him to drink some, he seemed to be shaking too much to grab onto the cup. He took a big gulp then breathed heavily, still trying to catch his breath. Once he calmed down a bit though, Belarus came a little closer. "Are you okay?"

"It hurts." Russia's mumbling were to the point where Canada couldn't understand through his accent. He looked toward Ukraine who understood though, she looked as he held onto his chest.

"Your chest hurts?" She asked. "When you breath?" He shook his head. "Ivan lay back alright?" Her and Canada helped Russia lay back down onto the pillows and rest his head. Russia kept his eyes closed and coughed a bit again, not as harsh as the first time though. "Just stay in bed okay?" Russia tried nodding but stopped when he felt like coughing again. Canada titled his head a bit as he looked at Russia.

"B-Belarus can you get a small garbage can please?" He asked. Belarus growled at him, she didn't like being used as a little maid but she went into the bathroom to get it anyway.

"Why do we need tha-" Ukraine tried to ask but Canada jumped in front of her and gave the garbage to Russia, just before he vomited. Ukraine stepped away a bit and tried rubbing his back to help him as he continued to vomit harder and harder. Canada frowned as Russia finally calmed himself. Ukraine laid him back again once he was done and gently covered him with the blankets. "Don't move too much alright?" Ukraine pet the Russian's head as he gulped a bit, then stood up and away from him.

"We should let him be." Canada said. "I'll come back and check on him." Ukraine and Belarus nodded and left as Canada looked down at Russia. He bent over a bit and kissed Russia's forehead, he opened his eyes a bit and looked at him. "Do you need anything?" He tried shaking his head a bit. "Okay well I'm right here if you need anything."

"Stayhere…" Russia mumbled. Canada nodded and sat on the side of the bed, staying right there for him. Russia reached his hand out for Canada, which he quickly grabbed onto and held it as Russia tried to fall asleep, Canada's soft voice made him more sleepier. Finally he managed to fall asleep fast, leaving Canada to sit there and watch. He picked up the cloth Russia had dropped on the side when he sat up then gently patted Russia's head, getting rid of some of the sweat. He then switched to the cool side and placed it on his forehead. _Poor Russia, I've never seen him this weak before…. _Canada thought. He sighed a bit and stood up, though Russia's grip on his hand made him stay.

Russia shook a bit as he sat up in his bed, Canada trying to get him to eat something at all since he hadn't all day. He looked over as Canada lifted a spoon of soup toward him as he tried to eat it but the moment it touched his tongue, he wanted to vomit again. His lips quivered a bit as he reached for the trash can, Canada quickly pushing it toward him as he again vomited, more harsh then the time before. Canada rubbed his back more as he backed away and coughed again. "I can't eat it." Russia mumbled. Canada nodded and pushed the rest of the bowl of soup away on the side table.

"Lay down." Canada said and helped Russia lay down again. He covered the blanket softly over Russia and stood up, though Russia seemed to grab onto him again; he would never let him leave. "R-Russia try going to sleep again."

"Nyet nyet nyet…" Russia mumbled. "Nyet nyet nyet."

"R-Russia." Canada tried standing up again but Russia only pulled him closer. "Mine…" Russia slowly fell asleep again. He continued to do this, over and over all day. He would be conscious for a while but barely. He would hang onto Canada and never let him leave; he had no choice but to stay there with him. Ukraine brought food up, wet the cloths, helped out when needed but Canada stayed by his side the entire time. He pet Russia's head a bit as he slept, even if his hair was wet. Ukraine peeked in and then slowly came in.

"How is he?" She gently said. Canada moved his hand to Russia's forehead.

"I think his fever got higher." Canada said. "He's really not okay… C-Can you and Belarus run out and maybe get some medicine?" Ukraine came in more and nodded.

"Da what do you need?"

"Something that can help a fever, stomach ache and vomiting, something for coughing, and something keep him asleep. He keeps waking up and having hallucinations." Ukraine frowned. "W-What?"

"It was like the first time he was sick. It was just like this, he was very sick and he even coughed up blood." Ukraine began to tear. "H-He's going to be okay r-right?"

"He'll be fine Ukraine, I promise. Just go get that medicine for him please?"

She nodded again. "I'll be as fast as I can. B-but Canada,"

"Hm?"

"Those hallucinations can cause him to be really bad and even violent, even if he is weak like this." Ukraine said. Canada gulped a bit. "Lithuania is down stairs if you really need his help."

"I-It'll be fine." Canada looked back toward Russia once he felt his grip getting tighter. _I-it'll be fine…. _

OOOOOO

*whew* I sorry it's been taking me forever to update DX I just been busy being lazy and watching SAO and other random anime ^^'

But it's a long one?… Poor Russia got sick on his birthday DX merp derp *fall over and sleep*


	18. Chapter 18: My Sunflower

Chapter 18: My Sunflower

Canada and Lithuania stayed down stairs in the living room, leaving Russia to rest as much as he could. The Russian could barely move anymore, he was too exhausted to move either. He stayed put, or at least that's what they thought. Canada tried feeding Kumajirou a few seal rolls as Lithuania read a book, awkward silence between the two nations. Kumajirou finished his small meal as Canada sat back in the seat, having the bear jump up onto his lap and sit there. He sighed a bit, he felt strange sitting here for some reason. The silence made him a bit uncomfortable, he hated silence especially in _this_ house; he just couldn't stand it…

A huge bang interpreted their silent peace. Lithuania quickly marked his place and put the book down as Canada quickly made his way up the stairs, Lithuania following behind. They quickly got into Russia's room to find him absent from his bed, the two quickly panicked until Lithuania noticed the sheets off the bed falling off to the side. The two walked over a bit, able to look over next to the bed where they found the Russian face flat on the floor. Canada wanted to rush over as fast as he could but once he stepped forward, he quickly froze. "I-is that a gun in his hand?…" he questioned.

"He must of gotten it from the draw." Lithuania noticed. The two looked over at him as he stayed face-flat but his hand sticking out held tightly onto the weapon. Lithuania carefully stepped over as Canada followed behind him, Russia stayed completely still. "Stay here." Lithuania slowly approached the Russian, bending down to see if he was even conscious. "I think he's out." Canada quickly came over with that, bending down and trying to get the gun out of the Russian's hands but his grip quickly tightened. The two backed up a bit until his grip loosened again, the two sighed in relief. "Maybe we should wait until Ukraine and Belarus get back."

"Yeah maybe, but I think there's a reason he grabbed that gun and I don't think it's a good one…" Canada said. The two looked at Russia as his grip around the weapon loosened more. The two bent down again, Canada leaned over to check him as Lithuania reached for the gun. Russia's eyes quickly blinked open. He grabbed onto Canada's wrist and pulled him down, then got a tight grip around the boy's throat. He then managed to get his legs up and put Lithuania into a head lock that way. The two nations gasped as Russia tightened his grips around the both of them.

"Who are you! ?" Russia yelled. Canada grabbed onto the Russian's wrists as his grip tightened around his throat.

"R-Russia… I-it's C-Canada.. A-and L-Lithuania…" Canada chocked out. He looked toward Lithuania who's situation wasn't any better, neither of them could breathe.

"Idiot!" He yelled again and tightened his grip more, Canada could see his blank eyes tearing up; Russia was confused and they had to deal with it. "Y-You're one of them! ? You hate me! You want me gone!"

"R-Russia…" Canada coughed a bit, his face was starting to turn blue just as Lithuania was beginning to lose consciousness. "S-Stop… w-we're not w-who you think…"

"I-It's not my fault! I-I've tried so hard!" Russia teared up, "Why do you all hate me! ?"

"W-We don't R-Russia!" Lithuania managed to chock out. Russia looked at Lithuania and glared, then let go of him. Lithuania quickly got back and coughed for breath as Russia still had his hands around Canada's throat. "Russia, you're not thinking clearly. Let him go."

"Nyet… we don't want children… who can't play nice…" Russia stood up, pulling Canada up with him, and kept his hands around boy's throat with force. He started to lift Canada off his feet. Lithuania's eyes widened and he quickly jumped for Russia, grabbing onto him and trying to get his hand's off Canada before he broke the boy's neck.

"Russia stop! You're not in the right mind! Stop!" Russia pushed Lithuania away but then paused. He stared at the frightened Canadian with blank eyes, then slowly put him down. Lithuania sighed in relief. Canada took a few deep breaths as the air rushed back into his lungs, Russia only stayed standing still though. He titled his head a bit at Canada as his pale eyes actually closed.

"R-Rus-" Canada tried to talk but Russia collapsed forward onto him, pushing him back onto the ground and hold onto him. "R-Russia?" He tried getting out from under the man but he really couldn't until Lithuania helped in getting Russia up. Canada stood up too, holding onto Russia as well, as the two nations got him onto the bed. Once that job was done, Canada reached over to his forehead to check him. "Can you get a thermometer?" Lithuania nodded and hurried into the bathroom where he knew one was in the medicine cabinet. Canada looked down at the panting Russian, he was burning up quickly.

Lithuania brought back the small device and Canada attempted to get a reading, actually managing to succeed. "It's at 110 F."

"I-Is that high?" Lithuania questioned, he didn't follow the Fahrenheit degrees.

"Really high." Canada moved the sheets away from Russia's body, "Can you get a wet cloth please? A really cold one." Lithuania went back into the bathroom as Canada patted the Russian's forehead with an older cloth. Moments later Lithuania came back and placed the cooler cloth on Russia's forehead. The Russian's body shook violently, his hands wouldn't stop shaking for a moment. His eyes twitched as he tried taking deep breaths in his sleep.

"We can't really do anything until Ukraine and Belarus come back." Lithuania said.

Canada sighed, "Yeah you're right… I just feel really bad for him…"

"But you, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah," Canada grabbed onto his throat. "I feel like I'm starting to get used to this now…"

OOO

"Swallow it." Canada ordered. Russia slowly shook his head. "You need to." He shook his head again. "Ivan you swallow it right now!" Russia gulped down the medicine he had refused to swallow. "Good boy." Canada put the cap on the medicine and placed it on the table. He then turned back to Russia and placed the back of his hand to Russia's forehead, at least he didn't feel as hot as he did before. Russia looked up at the Canadian and tried grabbing onto his arm until Canada stepped back.

"Are you afraid of me?…" Russia frowned and his eyes only showed pity.

"Non, no Russia." Canada said.

"Then why did you back away?…"

"C-Cause I have to go."

"Nyet! Stay!" Russia tried grabbing onto him again but Canada pulled away.

"I have some work to do. Just try to sleep." He covered Russia with the light blankets. "Go ahead, fall asleep."

"Nyet…" Russia yawned. Canada knew Russia was exhausted, he knew he needed sleep, even if it was only six o'clock. Russia snuggled up into the blanket a bit then looked back up at Canada. Before he knew it, he fell asleep.

"He's asleep for now." Canada told Ukraine once she asked. "He's very difficult when he's like this…" He scratched his head a bit. Belarus only stared at him with her look of irritation, she didn't like the idea of Canada taking care of her brother one bit. "B-but it's okay." He looked over at Belarus who quickly looked away, not wanting to make eye contact. Canada sighed, it was going to always be tense between then wasn't it?

"Maybe I should stay with him for the night?" Ukraine suggested.

"Nyet I will!" Belarus quickly popped up.

"Canada's been doing a better job, why not just let him do it?"

"Nyet!" The two sisters yelled. Canada sighed, this wasn't getting anywhere. The two sisters talked to each other in a language Canada still didn't know, though Lithuania knew some of it from living with them for so long. He stood there with his bear in his arms not knowing what to do, but Kumajirou's ears flickered and stood up as he looked toward the kitchen door. Canada looked down at him and before he could ask what was wrong, a crashing sound filled the room. The sisters froze, Lithuania paused, and Canada's nerves quickly acted up as he was the first to run out of the room toward the noise. He could see Russia with his hand on the front door, trying to open it but lost his balance and hit into the table by it where a vase fell and shattered.

"Russia!" Canada quickly grabbed onto his hand and pulled it off the knob. "W-What are you doing?"

"I have to go…" Russia mumbled.

"No you have to go back to bed." He tried pulling Russia's arm. "Nyet… Stalin will be mad…"

"W-What?" Canada blinked. Ukraine and Belarus quickly came out, Lithuania following behind them, and paused when they saw Russia. "Russia, Stalin is dead. He's not your boss anymore. He's gone."

"Nyet… he'll be mad…" Russia lifted his heavy shaking hand to try grab the knob but Canada grabbed onto his wrist and pulled it down.

"No Russia… you're sick… you're not thinking well…" Canada held onto his hand. "No one's gonna be mad you, okay? L-Let's just go lay you down in bed eh?" Russia stared at him with blank eyes as the Canadian attempted to pull him gently back toward the stairs, he finally followed. Canada helped him up the stairs and back into his room as carefully as he could, then attempted to lay Russia down but he passed out onto the bed. Canada lifted the Russian's legs into the bed then reached over to check his fever, it was still the same from the last time he checked. He sighed and began pulling his hand back when Russia grabbed onto his wrist. "Eh!" He gasped and looked at the Russian, his eyes were open again; uh oh.

But Russia smiled and pulled Canada onto the bed then into his arms, holding him like a baby. "R-Russia?" Canada questioned but Russia only smiled more. Russia held him close to him, like a cuddle, but kept him still in his arms.

"Mine." He whispered. Canada gulped a bit, the last time he heard those words it wasn't in a good way… it scared him a bit.

"R-Russia, do you even know who I am?"

"Canada~!" he tightened his grip. "My Canada, my little sunflower."

"O-Okay…" Canada sighed a bit. Russia's grip got tighter again. "R-Russia…" It began to hurt him. Russia seemed to ignore him though and tightened his grip again. "R-Russia that hurts…"

"Nyet…" Russia whispered. Canada tried squirming a bit but Russia's grip tightened again, this time he dug into Canada's stomach. Canada twitched, he hated this feeling… it pained him, it reminded him.

"_Y-You're hurting me!"_

"_Just shut up!… you're mine so I'll hold you like this if I want, I'll hurt you if I want to."_

"_N-no you-"_

"_Shut up!" _

"Russia you're hurting me!" His voice echoed. Russia blinked his blank eyes and frowned; he quickly let go. Canada quickly got out and stood up, panting, and looked back at Russia. He frowned at the boy but Canada only sighed. "L-Look, I'll be right back."

"Nyet! Don't leave!" Russia tried reaching out for Canada but the boy pushed his hand away. "Don't leave me! I do not want to be alone!"

"I-I'll be right back, I promise."

"H-hey, can you let me up for a sec?"

"Come back please…"

"I will Russia," Canada gave a warm smile to him then hurried out the door where he ran into Lithuania who was ordered to go up and see what was happening. "He's fine. I'm gonna stay with him tonight." He hurried down the stairs, Lithuania followed, where he saw Ukraine and Belarus cleaning up the mess that laid on the ground from the vase. "I'm gonna give Russia some more medicine and stay with him tonight, okay?"

"If you're okay with it." Ukraine said. Canada nodded and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and the pill Russia had refused to take so far, but they all knew it would help him a lot. He wished the sisters and Lithuania a good night and hurried back up to Russia before he decided to get out of bed again.

"I'm back." He said as he walked in. Russia was sitting up in his bed as Canada walked in, he smiled. "I need you to take something if you want me to stay with you tonight."

"Huh? What?"

"This." Canada held up the small pill. Russia quickly shook his head.

"Nyet, nyet, nyet, nyet."

"Please. I'll leave if you don't." Canada took one step toward the door until Russia reached for him. "Will you take it?"

"Da!" He pouted a bit. Canada came over and placed the pill in the Russian's hands. Russia glared at it, looked at Canada, and glared at it again. Finally, he put it in his mouth. Canada handed him the cup as Russia glared a little more then gulped down the whole cup. Canada smiled and placed the cup on the night stand then before he could do anything else, Russia pulled him down onto the bed. "Matvey, I love you." Russia smiled. Canada gently smiled at the Russian and kissed his forehead.

"How about we go to sleep eh?" Canada reached over for the light and turned it off, then took his glasses off and placed them on the nightstand. "Time for bed eh? We both need our sleep."

"Nyet…" Russia rolled onto his back and away from Canada a bit. Canada only pulled the covers up over the both of them and snuggled into the bed, laying flat on his back too. He closed his eyes but then opened them and looked toward Russia, the Russian was right in his face.

"R-Russia, sleep." Canada said. Russia shook his head and then moved closer to Canada, reaching down to Canada and kissing his lips. "R-Russia…sleep."

"I don't want to~"

"You need to, that's what I'm doing so you do it too." he ordered. Russia sighed and looked at the Canadian. Instead of moving away, he simply laid his head down on the boy's chest like it was a pillow. "R-Russia?…"

"You're kind of soft…"

"H-How about I count sheep eh?" Canada said gently, his voice dropped to a point where he believed it would make Russia sleepy, he had done it a few times when Russia couldn't sleep or woke up from a nightmare. "One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, four sheep, five sheep, six sheep, seven sheep, eight sheep, nine sheep, ten sheep…" he checked to see if Russia was awake, trying to sit up a bit but just the weight of Russia's head on his chest rejected that movement, plus the Russian was still awake. "Eleven sheep, twelve sheep, thirteen sheep-"

"I can hear your heart beating…" Russia suddenly said. "It's kind of fast… but gentle in a way… unlike mine…"

"F-fourteen sheep, fifteen sheep, sixteen sheep, seventeen sheep, eighteen sheep, nineteen sheep, twenty sheep." Canada continued. He put his hand up to Russia's cheek to see if he was still awake, if he was he would of said something or done something. But Russia stayed silent and motionless, moving his head a little to get more comfortable on the boy's chest. He continued just to be safe, "Twenty-one sheep, twenty-two sheep, twenty-three sheep, twenty-four sheep, twenty-five sheep," he yawned a bit. "Twenty-seven sheep… twenty-eight sheep… twenty-nine sheep…. Twenty nine…" his voice trailed off as he closed his eyes, falling asleep with Russia close to him…

OOOOOOO

Just gonna end with some fluff *stretch* merp~ sorry it takes me so long to update these day DX been having some issues with certain things plus I was just too lazy to actually do anything on my laptop… which I ended up doing anyway cause I did other fan fictions (merp o.o) but meh~ I'll try to start doing it more often!

So Russia's small illness (holy maple I really can't remember what this bloody thing is called DX) basically messes up his mind to the point where he believes he's in different times and can't remember what's happening, if he's strong enough to even move around. (god I really wish I knew the name! I'll find it out eventually o.o') but it pushes a fever to be so high that a normal person would be very ill to the point of dying…. So I just push that onto Russia (sorry Russia!) and poor Canada got chocked again… (don't worry, (spoil?) there's gonna be another time when he's chocked and it won't be pretty ;o) *ahem*

Also, the little _this kind of font _of Canada being "hurt" is from Prussia, I'll tell about that later though ;P such an anti pru-can fan… o.o' and the part of "we don't want children who can't play nice" was from the manga! It was when he spoke to Lithuania during riots (I think it was Bloody Sunday) he said those words then killed off people, so yeah… lithy and Canada would have been in biggg trouble o.o

… I kinda feel bad for making Russia sick though o.o I can do all these horrible things to Canada… and then Russia passing out and I'm like "aw poor Russia Q.Q"… there's such a problem with that *crawls into hole* next chapter will be sooooon~


	19. Chapter 19: С Днем Рождения России!

Chapter 19: С Днем Рождения России!

(_SLIGHT_ sex scene!)

Canada sat at the kitchen table stretching his arms and legs out. He yawned a bit as he stretched but the aching pain wouldn't really go away. Russia has such a heavy head, he thought as he rubbed his chest. It ached a bit, all that pressure on his chest even hurt his breathing when he woke up, though now it only ached. He took a deep breath and stretched his neck a bit as Ukraine came in. "Good morning Matthew~" She said cheerfully.

"Ah," Canada smiled, "Good morning Ukraine. Sleep well?"

"Da. Did you?"

"Er… I guess." Canada rubbed his chest a little more. "Russia slept through the night though. He seemed to get a good sleep."

"Da I did." Russia's voice came out of no where. The two nations looked up toward the door to see Russia standing tall there. His face was still pale but his normal expression was back, his scarf was back over his simple clothing, just a sweater, and he looked very awake and aware again. "Question though, when did we get here Matvey? And then when did Ukraine get here?"

"Hey! You're back to normal!" Canada smiled brightly.

"D-Da?…"

"Wait… whatda mean when did we get here?…" Canada got up out of his seat.

"Exactly that." Russia looked around. "When did we get to my house?"

"A-A week ago Russia."

"What! ?"

"Oh my, you don't remember any of it?…" Ukraine sighed a bit.

"R-Remember what?…"

"Well one, it's 2013." Canada said. "You've been really sick for the last week… like… really sick."

"Like that time when you were little…" Ukraine said.

"Is that why my stomach feels so twisted?" Russia questioned.

"Most likely." Ukraine said. Russia rubbed his temples.

"I missed New Years?" Russia said, the two nodded. "What else did I miss?"

"Nothing has really been happening, nothing to worry about anyway eh?" Canada said. Russia nodded a bit.

"Wait, so why are you here big sister?"

"Oh! We were…" Ukraine scratched her head. "We were here for your birthday… but that was a week ago…" Russia's expression didn't really change but he nodded. "And when you got sick we stayed longer."

"We?"

"Belarus and Lithuania are here~"

"Oh…" Russia sighed. "I'm sorry if I was trouble."

"You weren't much trouble, your health just worried us." Ukraine pet her little brother's head. "Matthew really took care of you though." He could see Russia's eyes glance toward him. "You're alright, right?"

"Da. I feel fine." Russia yawned a bit. "Still a bit tired but better. Matvey,"

"Huh?" Canada's head popped up toward the Russian.

"Thank you for your help…" Russia smiled. "I'm sorry if I caused you trouble."

"Like Ukraine said, you weren't much trouble. Your health just worried us." He smiled. Russia nodded and came into the kitchen more, reaching into the cabinet for something to snack on but his stomach still ached so he wouldn't eat too much. He took a bit into a small breakfast bar and looked toward the other two nations.

"I'll be upstairs doing work." Russia began to leave.

"You know, that's probably why you got so sick." Canada said. "Overworking."

"Da, maybe I exhausted myself with my working. I'll try not to and take small breaks, sounds good?" Russia said, Canada nodded a bit. "I still don't feel completely well, so I won't push myself." He gave a little smile and headed out the door and upstairs to his room. Canada stood against the wall and sighed a bit, as did Ukraine.

"I hope he doesn't overwork himself…" Canada frowned.

"Da…you should go and keep an eye on him."

"Eh?"

"D-Da! Just to make sure he doesn't overwork or make himself worse."

"O-Oh." Canada scratched the side of his head. "Guess I should." He pushed himself off the wall and picked up Kumajirou off the floor, though he was in the middle of eating some seal rolls, then followed up the stairs, ignoring the cold looks he was getting from Belarus once he overheard the conversation. He peeked into the Russian's room to see him at his desk and on his laptop, then Canada sneaked in.

"I can hear you." Russia turned around and looked at the Canadian who froze then nervously laughed.

"O-Oh, hey." He scratched his head a bit.

"Ukraine sent you up here didn't she?" Russia asked. No response from the Canadian confirmed that, he sighed. "I'm fine Matvey, you don't have to worry."

"I still am though." He took a seat on the Russian's bed. "You were very sick Russia… and I mean like dying sick."

"Da, I know… I don't really remember but I know." Russia turned back to his work. "And thank you for helping me, da? I-I know I was trouble…" he paused with a thought running through his head.

"I told you it was fine already, you have nothing to be sorry for or anything."

"Canada…" Russia sat back in his seat. "Did I… did I hurt you at all?…" Canada's smile disappeared, but Russia couldn't see that.

"No Russia…You didn't hurt me. You didn't hurt anyone." Canada lied, he knew it was better off with that lie.

"Are you lying to me? Are you hiding it from me?"

"No Russia, I'm not. You didn't hurt anyone." Canada frowned but that too disappeared once Russia turned around and looked at him. "You didn't, okay?" He nodded a bit. Canada jumped off the bed and hugged onto the Russian in his chair, then kissed his cheek. "Relax a bit eh? You didn't do anything wrong so don't question it." Russia wrapped his arms around the boy and hugged onto him, though when he noticed a bruise on the side of Canada's neck, he frowned. Russia kissed where the bruise was and continued to frown as Canada's grip tightened around Russia. "Now, don't overwork yourself okay?" Russia nodded.

OOO

Canada sat there on his bed and played on his phone, hey angry birds is a fun game eh? Russia had taken a little break in his room and decided to lay down once he felt a head ache coming on, so Canada relaxed a bit in his own room, until Ukraine knocked on the door. "I need your assistance!… please!"

"W-What happened?" Canada quickly got up. "Did something happen with Russia?"

"N-no, he's sleeping."

"Huh? O-Oh…. Then what did you need me for?" He titled his head a bit.

"France taught you how to cook, da?"

"Y-Yeah?…"

OOO

"You want me to bake a cake?" Canada blinked his eyes in a bit of confusion as Ukraine finished tying the apron around his waist. "F-for no reason?…"

"Nyet, it's for Russia. I know his birthday passed but I think we should still celebrate it!" Ukraine smiled a bit. "S-so me and Belarus can work out some things and you can bake da?"

"S-Sure…" Canada scratched the side of his head a bit. "I guess I could whip something up. I gotta ask Russia what kind of cake he would like though."

"Go ahead, just make sure you don't say anything about our plan! It's a surprise!" Ukraine said. Canada nodded and picked up his little bear off the floor, then went toward the stairs and toward Russia's room. He peeked in a bit to see the Russian laying in his bed, Canada was at least glad the Russian had actually gotten some rest.

Russia looked up and over to the Canadian at the door and smiled a bit. "Privet Matvey~"

"H-hey, sup." Canada came in a little more. "So, um, what kind of flavoring do you like? For like cupcakes?"

Russia blinked and sat up. "What?"

"What kind of cupcake would you want if you could have one? Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla,"

"Vodka?"

"A legit flavor Russia!" Canada pouted a bit. "So likeee?~"

"I suppose vanilla then…" Russia said. "Why?"

"I'm taking surveys, don't worry about it. Just get some more rest eh?" Canada quickly took off and left the Russian with a confused look.

OOO

Canada continued to put the decorating icing on the cake as Ukraine peeked over and looked. He noticed and looked over a bit, "Is there anything Russian birthdays have different? Like cake wise." Canada asked. Ukraine shook her head a bit.

"That seems good enough, you did a lot of work on it so it's perfect~" Ukraine smiled. Canada smiled a bit back but once he saw the angry stare of Belarus he quickly turned back to decorating. It was a small cake, he didn't have that much to make it with so he tried his best! Vanilla flavored with some vanilla icing designs, and he did actually add a dap of Vodka into the icing; he figured Russia could use a pick-me-up. He didn't really know how to decorate it, but he managed to find some colored frosting so he managed to make the Russian flag on top of the cake; though the blood was a purple but it was close enough.

Canada traveled up the stairs to Russia's room and peeked in to see him working again. "H-hey, Russia." He whispered but it looked like Russia didn't hear him. "Russiaaaaaa~" he raises his voice a little louder but Russia still didn't hear. "Russia!" Russia jumped a bit and turned around toward the boy.

"D-Da?"

"Hi~"

Russia got a stupid look on his face. "H-hi?"

"Come down stairs, dinner's ready."

"Da, I'll be down in a few minutes." Russia turned back to his work but Canada pouted a bit and made his way over to grab onto the Russian's arm. "Huh? What?"

"Noooooowwww~" Canada smiled a bit like a child. He pulled the Russian up from his chair and toward the door, even with his confused look. He pulled the Russian down the stairs and toward the kitchen, but then stopped and turned toward Russia. He lifted Russia's scarf a bit, he seemed to let Canada touch it sometimes, to cover his eyes.

"W-What are you doing Canada?" Russia asked as the Canadian held onto his hand and gently pulled him.

"Just shh, don't worry about it." Canada pulled him into the kitchen and halted him. "You can take down the scarf now." Russia pulled down his scarf and looked out at the smiling faces. "Happy belated birthday!" Canada joined in with the others smiling and wishing him a happy birthday. Russia blinked in confusion.

"But my birthday was a week ago." He said.

"That's why we said belated birthday!" Canada smiled. Russia looked around at the decorated room, one or two balloons floating in the air, a small banner that read "happy birthday" in Russian that he knew Belarus painted (he could tell from the way it was written), he could see some of his favorite cooked meals on the table, along with a cake. He smiled a bit then once he looked toward them all, his smile grew bigger.

"T-Thank you very much." He smiled. Belarus was quickly the first one to hug onto him, the others soon joined for a small group hug that Russia actually enjoyed.

"Are you hungry at all?" Ukraine questioned.

"Da, a bit." He looked over toward some of his favorite meals. "I'm assuming you cooked?"

"Da! But Matthew made the cake."

"Oh, that must be good then." He grinned toward Canada.

OOO

He placed his fork down on the empty plate and took a deep breath out. "I always love your cooking Matvey." He smiled toward the boy sitting next to him finishing up his own piece of cake.

"I like my cooking too." Canada said with his mouth full. The two sat against the wall of Russia's room. It was late, the two decided to have a little late night snack after his sisters and Lithuania went to bed. Russia kept Canada close to him. Once he put the plate down, he held onto the Canadian's hand. Once Canada was finished, he piled his small plate on top of Russia's and fell into the man's arms, being held by him now. It was peaceful, Russia enjoyed it. Canada looked up toward him though. "H-hey… after they went to bed… how come you were frowning?…" Canada asked.

Russia looked down at him. "I didn't."

"Yes you did, I saw you." Canada pouted. "You got a really sad look on your face…" Russia sighed a bit.

"I just hate that you three went through trouble for me to throw a small part like that, even after you spent the last week caring for me." Russia said.

"It was for your birthday, everyone should have a chance to enjoy it."

"Not me…" Russia looked away.

"W-Wait, why do you say that?…" Canada frowned.

"I'm a monster, I don't deserve things like this."

Canada jumped up at him. "That's not true!"

"Da, it certainly is." Russia said. "You really don't understand Matthew, you're still a young country so you haven't seen much. But the things we've- I've- done are horrible."

Canada sat there silent for a moment then gained a straight face. "Hey, listen, I may young but you know as well as I know that I understand just as much as you can. And I understand you've been through a lot, but don't call yourself a monster." He said. "Okay?… you're not a monster." Russia simply sighed. "Ivan, a monster couldn't have feelings and I know you do." Russia made a small grin.

"Da…" He held onto the boy's hand. "I suppose that's true at least…" He sighed then stood up and walked toward his desk, going into the draw and taking out a bottle of Vodka.

"I-I knew you hid it in there!" Canada pointed and waved his hand back and forth. Russia lifted another bottle out before looking back over at the Canadian and smirking.

"There's a lot of bottle in this room you don't know about." He said.

"E-Eh!?" Canada made a stupid surprised look as Russia came back over, slid down against the wall next to the boy.

"Want a sip?" He asked as he opened one of the bottles.

"A sip? I want some of the bottle."

"The bottle? You're crazy… in case you've forgotten, you can't drink." Russia chuckled a bit.

"I've been practicing!"

He laughed more. "Practicing drinking?"

"Oui!" Canada said with confidence and took the one of the bottles from his hand, cracking the cap open and gulping it down right from the bottle. Russia only stared blankly as the boy gulped down half the bottle before taking a break and a big breath out.

"Y-you're drinking a little fast aren't you?"

"N-non," Canada shook his head before letting out a small burp. "E-Excuse me!" Russia chuckled a bit.

"Are you sure you can handle the drink?"

"Yes! I'm sure." Canada went back to drinking the rest of the bottle. Russia only cracked the next bottle open and began drinking from that, keeping an eye on the Canadian next to him though just incase. _Only a bottle or two, _he assured himself, _that's all he can handle, that's all I will give him. _

But by the next hour and a half…

The floor was covered with about twenty empty vodka bottles, most of them drunk by Russia but Canada really did gulp down a lot. Canada laid his head on the Russian's shoulder, he was drunk but very calm for some reason. Russia only continued to take another sip of the bottle he had now. He took a deep breath and grabbed onto the Canadian's wrist laying on his lap. "Matthew, you're alright da?" He looked as the Canadian slowly moved his head. Russia put his hand to the boy's face, seeing if he would respond or anything. "Matthew?" _maybe he had alcohol poisoning? _"Matthew are you alright?" Canada moved his hands over to the Russians then snatched the bottle from him and took one last sip.

"I'm fine." He said as he finished the last sips of the bottle, then gave the empty bottle to Russia, who only chuckled a bit.

"You look… _wasted_, I think it's called." Russia said. Canada giggled a bit then hiccupped.

"Non, non, whatever." Canada shook his head a bit. "Don't matter, it's kay eh?"

"Not really no…"

"It's fine Russie~!" Canada pouted a bit before falling back onto the Russian's shoulder, where he stayed for a few moments in silence.

Russia looked over at him and moved his hair from his face. "Hey Canada… can I ask you something?… you might not be happy about it…"

"You want me to suck your-"

"NYET! Not where I was going!" Russia sighed as Canada only giggled. "I-I wanted to ask you about Prussia." The giggling suddenly stopped. "I-Is that okay?…"

"Depends, what's the question?" His voice became so serious…

"I-It was just the cheating thing da?…?" Russia asked but Canada never gave a response, he sat there with his head down.

"N-Never mind. Let's just get you into bed da?"

"I don't wanna." Canada looked up and pouted.

"I don't care, you're going to bed." Russia put the empty bottle down with the rest and stood up, then reached for the boy's arm to pull him up but Canada refused. Russia then reached down and picked the boy up and over his shoulder, carrying him over to the bed like that and plopping him on. "Now sleep, da?" he threw the blanket over the boy.

"Only if you're here."

"Da hold on," Russia took off his scarf and laid it gently on the desk, he was used to being able to sleep without it when he was around Canada. Sure… the scars still looked bad, but it seemed like Canada didn't mock them or even tried to look at them; Russia was happy about that.

He laid in the bed and was about to cover himself until Canada grabbed onto his arm and pulled him back, then climbed on top of him. "W-What are you doing?"

"It's your Birthday Ivan," Canada smirked. "I'm giving you your gift~"

"W-What?" Russia's cheeks flushed as Canada lips met his, then moved to his ear.

"You heard me." He whispered. "Now then, let's get rid of these." Canada's hands moved down the Russia's sides to his pants, then started to pull them down.

"C-Canada, your French side is showing…"

"Let it show~" Canada grinned.

Their bear bodies pressed against each other as Russia took his time with the waves of pleasure overcame him, the both of them really; intense moaning filled the room but they tried their best to keep it quiet. Tension build up between them, their bodies felt hot, the look on their faces only expressed more pleasure. Ecstasy overwhelmed them, pleasure simply melted them, the sound of their heavy breathing mixed with the small moans from Canada, slightly louder every minute. He seductively kissed Russia's lips again, everything again, just as Russia did the same to him. They took their time, slow and steady, speeding up when needed, everything felt so intense; it was breathtaking. Russia could hear Canada's gasp as his climax hit, Russia feeling the same way just seconds after.

He rolled onto his back and took deep breaths as Canada did the same. That definitely was a good present eh? Russia opened his eyes and looked toward the exhausted and still drunk Canadian as he tried to get his breathing back to normal. Russia continued to look at him until Canada turned onto his side, his back facing Russia, ready to sleep. Russia smirked a bit and closed his eyes. He opened them one last time and attempted to reach his hand over to Canada's bear shoulder, but stopped once he heard his voice.

"You wanna know why?…" he heard Canada say.

"Huh?"

"Prussia…"

"O-only if you want to, I'm sorry for asking before Mat-"

"He raped me Russia." The words made Russia freeze. "He was freed from everything through the cold war, he lost control very easily… he controlled me… he forced me into sex with him and if I didn't agree he would physically hurt me…" Russia's eyes widen. "I didn't wanna leave… and then I couldn't… he never said a word of apology to me and then he fucked someone else up, not even apologizing then… so that's why Russia, that's why I hate him… he tortured me…" Russia moved his hand away from the boy and laid there frozen as Canada passed out.

Russia couldn't help but be angry…. He made a slight fist under the sheets….

OOOOOOOOOOOo

HAHAH FINALLY UPDATED

I sorry T.T I had things to do, I had to get ready for a convention and then attend that convention, I had break so I sat around trying to get this done but I was suffering from con-depression where I didn't have the attention span to do anything DX so sorry!

And sorry it's a crap chapter =.= I really wanted to do Russia's birthday since I did Canada's in the other story, so yeah! (and it's still January in this fan fiction by the way! I know I usually go with the seasons, but I'm trying to keep it in winter)

Oh~ so~ I made a face book account for my entire otaku-ness, cosplay, fan fiction, and roleplay. So if anyone wants to like talk to me or anything, I'm _Iggy Hetalian Kirkland _:3 I roleplay Hetalia and stuff so if anyone wants to ^^! (clearly you can see how bored I was on my break XD)

So I'm gonna update SOONER this time! I just wanna skip to a part (you're all gonna hate me for!) soooo soon!


	20. Chapter 20: mal de tête

Chapter 20: mal de tête

"_L-Let me go! S-Stop!" He could hear the Prussian screaming in pain, begging for some kind of mercy. But Russia didn't care. _

"_Nyet," he angrily stated, "I'm frustrated… your damn brother getting aid from that stupid American… ruined my plans da?"_

"_R-Russia!"_

"_Silence!" He jabbed his knee into the Prussian's stomach. "I said I was frustrated! You're the only one here…I have to take out my anger on something or else I could go insane… da?…" _

Did I… I did hurt Prussia… and then… he hurt Canada…

"_Prussia!" Canada screamed as he tried to get out of the Prussian's grip on his wrist. "S-Stop!"_

"_Nein! I'm frustrated!" Prussia would yell. "I have to take my anger out on something and you're the only one here!" He rammed his fist into the boy's stomach, then pushed him into a wall. _

I turned Prussia into the bad guy… it's my fault… Canada was…

Russia's eyes slowly opened as he looked over to the sleeping boy next to him, curled up closely to him but still facing away. Russia sat up and looked over toward the boy before getting up. He felt dizzy as he stood, grabbing onto the wall next to him. He looked down a bit, seeing the boy's glasses laying on the floor he picked them up and folded them carefully before placing them on the bed next to Canada, then headed down stairs for some coffee.

"Good morning!" Ukraine greeted him as he made his coffee.

"Da, good morning." Russia yawned a bit before he took a small sip of the hot drink. "Where are Belarus and Lithuania?"

"Oh! They had to leave early this morning."

"Oh?"

"Da, Poland kept annoying Lithuania to come help him with something by calling him all night long so he left. Then Belarus said she had to sharpen a few knives are take care of something so she left."

"…She had to what?…" Russia blinked. Ukraine simply shrugged though and took a sip of her own coffee. Russia shook his head and the dreaded feeling away.

"Is Canada still sleeping?"

"Um… Da, and he probably will be for a while." Russia smirked a bit. "He's probably going to be a bit hung over."

"Huh? Why? Were you two drinking?"

"Maybe…"

"You were just very sick and you put alcohol into your body! ?" Ukraine got all huffed up and crossed her arms. "That's bad little brother!" Russia simply ignored her and continued drinking his coffee. "Russia! Don't ignore me!" she began to cry which automatically had Russia at her side trying to make it better again.

What a morning…

"Canada, I brought you some breakfast if you're hungry." Russia peeked into his room where the boy still slept in the same position he had left him. Russia carried in the plate of small pancakes, eggs, and some sausage Ukraine had cooked up and placed it on the night table before sitting down on the bed and reached over for the boy. "Wakey wakey Matvey." Canada moaned a bit, oh good he was alive, but didn't move. Russia shook his shoulder a bit. "It's almost noon, wake up."

"I don't feel good…" Canada mumbled.

"That's because you drank like I usually do." Russia moved his hand up and pet the boy's hair. "You have a hang over. Just eat and I'll get you some pain killers da?"

"It's back…"

"What is?"

"My headache…"

"That's because you're hung over Matvey." Russia only said before standing up and going into the bathroom to grab some pills for the boy. Once he found them, he brought them out and placed two on the plate of breakfast. "Come on Matvey, up." Canada weakly sat up in the bed and looked over at Russia with tired eyes.

"Glasses…" He mumbled.

"Next to you." Russia said and decided it was better to just pick them up and hand them to the boy, putting them on his face for him. Canada looked at him tiredly with dark eyes. "You don't look good at all…"

"I told you, I don't feel good."

"Well you know what, you shouldn't of drank that much then."

"I don't even remember drinking…"

"I suppose you don't remember the sex then…"

"…we…"

"Da." Russia said. "And you came onto me, so don't complain."

"That explains so much…" Canada sighed as he shuffled around in the blankets a bit. "Can I stay here for the day?" He pouted toward the Russian with puppy eyes, which Russia just couldn't ignore.

"Fine." Russia simply said. "I'll let you rest for a bit."

"A bit?"

"Da a bit. You'll be up and around later." Russia said as Canada only moaned. "I have work to do, so I'll go to that and I'll see you later." He got up and left toward the door. "Oh and Ukraine asked if you wanted to go out later or tomorrow around Red Square and practice your Russian."

"Huh? O-oh, um, tell her yeah tomorrow." Canada blinked. Russia nodded and left the room as Canada fell back into the sheets and sighed in pain.

_Needless to say, Canada fell back to sleep for the rest of the day… even against Russia's words. _

"How are you feeling?" Russia peeked in once dinner was over and done with. Canada looked up from the pillow and growled a bit. "That bad huh?"

"My head is pounding… and I've been taking those pain killers all day, it's just my head…" Canada frowned. Russia came in and sat on the edge of the bed, putting his hand to the top of the boy's head and petting it a bit. "M-Maybe it's a sinus thing or something, I dunno."

"Sinus? Really?" Russia titled his head.

"Oui… I can try taking a shower or a bath or something and see if that helps." Canada sat up a bit and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "C-can I go shower?"

"Go right ahead, I'll be in here."

"You're done with your work eh?" Canada asked as the Russian nodded. "O-Oh." He crawled out of bed. "I'm gonna go shower." Russia nodded again as the boy walked out the door toward the other bathroom. Russia changed out of his day clothes and into something more comfortable, nothing much just a t-shirt and sweat pants, of course his scarf, but usually he never wore these things. He sat down on the bed and checked his phone for any new emails as he waited.

Canada's pants slipped down as he took his shirt off, throwing them in the corner of the room. He put the towel off to the side as he took his socks off, throwing them with his clothes, then starting the shower up. He took his glasses off carefully and put them on the countertop of the sink, then took a step into the shower carefully so he could see where he was going; walking around without glasses was so hard.

He let the hot water hit his body as he was drenched within seconds. It felt nice, relaxing on his aching muscles. He closed his eyes and simply stood there for a moment, not really wanting to do anything else; a bath probably would have been a better idea. He washed his body a bit with the cloth and soap he had, then quickly washed his hair out to it's soft texture.

_"I-I wanted to ask you about Prussia." _

Canada froze there. Suddenly, his head went pounding to the point where he had to crouch down and hold onto it. It all rushed back to him, things he wanted to forget suddenly played like a video in his mind. _Why am I thinking of this!? _he thought to himself. His head ached more and more every minute, he wasn't sure how long he was like that either. Canada felt numb… extremely numb.

_You're useless, like they all said. _He could hear. "W-Who's there?…" Canada whispered and looked up and around, not seeing anything unusual; no one was there. Only the sound of the running water was there, no voices. _You're useless. _He heard again then froze when he recognized the voice. "_Y-you_… s-shut up. Leave me alone." He covered his ears with his hands and continued crouching, feeling like there was something hovering over him. He closed his eyes, made sure his ears were covered, and stayed still as the water poured onto him still.

When he was sure that _thing _was gone, he opened his blank eyes and uncovered his ears. The water falling like rain was the only sound again. Canada gulped a bit and tried standing up. _NYET!_

All Russia could hear was a sudden bang, a loud one too. He looked up from his phone and sat silent for a second. Then he threw the phone onto the bed and rushed into the bathroom, knocking on it and waiting for response. "Canada? Are you okay?" He called, no answer. He knocked again and called again but there was still no answer from the boy. Russia rushed back to his room to get one of the keys from his draw, rushed back, and went in. "Canada?" He looked then realized what had happened and quickly rushed over to turn the water off, looking down at the boy on the floor of the shower barely moving, blood mixing in with the water. "Matthew!" Russia reached down for him as his eyes twitched and slowly opened again.

"_Geez you're really a klutzy little thing aren't you? God damn Canada." _

"Prussia?…" He whispered.

"N-nyet, Russia Matvey." Russia reached up for a towel and brought it down as he moved the boy's hair out of his face. "Canada, look at me. Say something da?"

"I slipped…" He mumbled.

"Da I see that… I'm going to lift your head up a bit okay?" Russia reached behind the boy and lifted his head up carefully, seeing the dark blood behind it on the floor. "I'm taking you into the other room alright?" He started lifting the boy up a bit then wrapped the towel around him before picking up into his arms like a small child, carrying him into his room and laying him on his bed. "Ukraine! I need your help please!" He called as he laid the uneasy Canadian down, placing another smaller towel under his head as the Canadian moaned a bit. "I'm putting pants on you…" Russia grabbed an extra pair of pj pants laying around, the ones he used last night, then slide them onto the boy.

"What happened?" Ukraine asked as she came in.

"He slipped in the shower and hit his head." Russia said as he covered the boy's body with a more dry table so she couldn't see the rest of him. He looked up with dull eyes at the two nations hovering above him. "Should we take him to get stitches?"

"He should heal fast though," Ukraine lifted Canada's head up a bit to see the damage. "It's not bleeding that bad either, it'll probably end up as a concussion. Matthew? You okay?" She pet the top of his head a bit and looked at his blank eyes. "Matthew? Can you say something?" Canada moaned and let his eyelids fall again, though her pulling his cheek a bit woke him up again. "Stay awake for a bit alright?" He moaned a bit more as he closed his eyes again, Ukraine again waking him up. "Just keep him awake, he should be fine though."

"D-Da… alright…" Russia looked down at the boy. "So it'll stop bleeding soon?"

"Da, he'll heal up fast, just a little hit." Ukraine pet the top of the boy's head gently. "Right Mattie?" He looked up at her with dull eyes and moaned a bit. "Just make sure he doesn't pass out, that's bad." Russia nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed as Ukraine stood up. Russia moved over and took the job of keeping him awake as he pet the boy's head gently then pulled on his cheek gently when the boy's eyes started to fall. After an hour, he finally started coming back to normal.

"You alright?" Russia asked once Canada was finally getting up and moving around more. He nodded a bit and touched the back of his head for the wound that had stopped bleeding by now. "You slipped." Canada moaned a bit then looked over toward Russia as he snuggled into the towel that still covered his torso.

"It hurts…" He moaned.

"Well you hit it hard, I can imagine."

"Make it go away." Canada moaned more.

"I wish I could." Russia leaned over and kissed the boy's forehead. "Just relax and don't move too much da?" He continued petting the boy's head as he nodded slightly.

"Sure thing…"

OOOOO

Crap chapter derp…. Sorry!~

Next chapter I definitely got it, at least toward the end of it, where I'm finally back onto the main thingy! :D …. I'm giving a warning: you will all hate me within the next two chapters, but what's gonna happen must happen! : (

And yes, General Winter was the one talking while Mattie was in the shower, torturing him again. Let's just see how this plays out da?… oh boy T~T

Translation: mal de tête (Head Ache)


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